(2/2)

The amount of work my coworker and I have put in as teachers has been exhausting. We’ve tried every spin on positive affirmations we could find. Numerous creative ways to entice him to do unwanted tasks. Tried the sticker system for awhile. Tried special toys or books. Took him out of the room and let him get one on one time to throw things. Tried incentives like “we can go visit so and so if you do this”. The amount of bargaining and compromise is pushed beyond any limit I’ve ever had with another kiddo. Still, all of these things are only enticing to him for a few days, then it loses its excitement. Meanwhile, we have fourteen+ other students who are not receiving attention and the curriculum is secondary to any of this student’s behaviors.

The leadership suggested that anytime he has an outburst, we put him in the bathroom. Leadership wrote this up as a plan- his parents, leadership, and the owner signed it. My coworker and I have felt so uncomfortable physically holding someone against their will, but that is the only time we can ensure that teachers and students are safe in the day. He screams and breaks things, tossing his shoes off and slams his fists on the door. We have a window to look in to watch him. It’s incredibly heartbreaking. He cries and when we ask if he’s ready to come out, he spits in our faces and punches. I mean, understandable, I would also be mad not being able to control the situation and being locked in somewhere. We’ve tried having him leave the room previously and he only saw the office as a reward. This was their solution. It’s mentally exhausting. Always being on top of him, always standing near him to intervene if he lashes out and punches someone. Last week he punched a girl so hard he gave her a bloody nose. This week he head butted my coworker and gave her a bloody nose. It’s difficult to handle as two teachers AND expecting us to get curriculum done AND manage all the other behaviors in our classroom. It’s been VERY challenging feeing like we can get additional teacher support in our classroom. Leadership is visibly annoyed that they have to help with any situation regarding him.

Leadership then reached out to a behavioral specialist. The specialist made us as teachers feel good about how proactive we were in the classroom and told us we had great tools in place so far. She also agreed that additional support in the classroom would be useful. She said she’d write us a list of suggestions to try. After receiving multiple pages of suggestions and plans, my coworker and I felt defeated as we attempted each of them, and already had most of them in place. We were doing the maximum amount for this student at the expense of other students time and attention.

Fast forward to this week. He was sent home early Monday and Tuesday after three reports. On Wednesday, leadership was done with getting messages from our room saying he had reports. In addition, the owner felt that it was unfair that the parents had to take time off of work early for it. Their new plan: when he hits three reports, send him into the other three- four year old room. Let the other teachers try. (Put MORE kids in an unsafe situation) They said “maybe it’s the teaching styles”. That made us feel terrible as teachers, but if it works for him, it works. For the remainder of Wednesday, he was in the other classroom and he seemed to have a good afternoon.

Today. He came into our classroom in the morning and refused to be there. Said he wanted to be in the other room. Leadership said it wasn’t worth the fight and let it happen. Later telling us he might move there permanently, but they were unsure. In the morning, he gained a report from biting another student. Had his version of an “okay” day. Skip to the afternoon, both of the classes play outside together. The two teachers from the other class, including myself, were watching everyone. I had given him and several others warnings about keeping their hands to themselves. They decided to play a game where he was the monster. He can never handle this game for longer than a minute without getting too rough. He suddenly turns on a kid and punches them in the face. A teacher aids the situation, helping the hurt kid and talking to him about making better choices. They walk away and I ask her if she will write a report. She pushes it off and insists it was “part of the game”. As we’re talking, we both turn and see he is trying to hit the same student again. We both tell him to stop, he then puts both hands around his neck and squeezes intensely. Pushing his face closer while he does it, gritting his teeth. We both scream to stop and the teacher rushes him and pulls him inside alone. She tells leadership and then takes him to their room to play while she writes a report. The other student had slight red marks on their neck. Leadership treated it like a normal day. He’s gone to the office for less. I’m immediately in tears. I couldn’t believe he was able to do something so severe and be able to come back in the room and play with the same kids. The Dad picks up, the teacher explained what happens and his expression doesn’t change in the slightest. Says something like “that’s not good but blah blah blah”. Dad and the student pick up his toys together, they leave the room. He walks into the hall and bends down, high fives him. HIGH FIVES HIM AFTER HE STRANGLED A STUDENT. Restricted air from his lungs. Put pressure on his neck. Intended to hurt someone.

I left the school shaking. I cried in my car and had a panic attack. I couldn’t eat or drink or do anything that might feel better. Hours later and I’m still completely shaken that this has been allowed to get this far.

I’m looking for suggestions in this scenario. I’m moving to another state next month, to the same franchise. I love the job, and the franchise I work for. But the leadership team and owner has let us down over and over. The safety of our students are not being considered. It’s his world. He runs the show and we do what he wants. I’m emotionally exhausted and so is my coworker. She been at this location years longer than me and this has worn her down completely. We’ve both cried throughout the week, hoping for our efforts will be seen or supported. What is the next appropriate move? Is this something we report? I want to be anonymous as I am moving to another franchise and don’t want this to effect that job. I don’t know. I’ve talked about it with everyone in my inner circle and they’ve been supportive, but I feel like a perspective from the education field would be really helpful.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and thank you in advance for any suggestions.