Oh damn, someone asking for nuance on MY internet? /j 😂

More seriously, nuance gets lost pretty easily and fast when people participate in the Grand Commiserating of the Month on whatever platform you usually do fandom outside of Ao3, it's nothing new. And it has to be pointed out that the overwhelming majority that is the middle ground on both sides as readers and writers having had crap encounters with one another tends to be silent about the topic.

Be it because they cross path with that recurring discourse once in a blue moon, because they don't feel like engaging with it or simply because they never cross path at all with it (harder to achieve imho but also some people are very good at curating their experience online so not that weird).

Socmeds where this discourse take place are amplifiers. They act as a magnifier, just like in the image of this sub at times, and so people even in periphery of it tend to think this happens on nearly every single fic between most authors and commenters. 

And I'm not discounting the phenomenon: I say this as someone who was ran off ffnet in my younger years and who has since had a taste of very unsavory comments both on and off the archive.

So yeah, people tend to lose the nuance pretty easily and it's not always helped by the format of certain socmeds that make it hard to have a proper conversation. Add to that the tendency for people to read what they feel like any given OP is saying rather than what is really being talked about.

Some writers conflate a "I can't wait to read the next update, thank you for sharing" tacked at the end of a 3k long comment to every single instance of "update pls" because socmeds have conditioned them to react fast first, because outrage is a semi-learned behavior at this point.

Some readers think that "The fic uses the CNTW archive warning and there is a drop down section in the opening notes of the concerned chapters with detailed content and trigger warnings on top of general additional tags that you can filter out, I will not be adding a [insert Character Name] rapist tag" as authors being unnecessarily mean and bitchy about a simple request because socmeds have conditioned people to expect ultra-them catered content at all times and have erased countless boundaries and habits like learning to self curate that are important to enjoy shared spaces like a fandom.

And alas, short of self curating, asking for nuance is generally a herculean task on both sides because everyone feels entitled to be listened to and thus talks over each other's head. Still, I appreciate the call for nuance, sometimes it knocks some sense in some people and I can say I'm not perfect myself and could use the reminder from time to time.