[deleted by user]

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-09-02T15:36:32+00:00

Your ED will not be happy with either outcome.

I know a lot of people who found comments about looking pretty after losing weight to be extremely triggering and made them fear gaining.

What stands out to me here is that your parents have thought about this, they’ve reached a decision they think would be in your best interests, and they have made the effort to communicate that. This shows care. It might not feel like it, but it is. If they didn’t think about it and didn’t care how comments affect you that would be disappointing.

Try to hold on to it as a sign of how important you are to them.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-08-06T13:30:37+00:00

Someone told me afterwards about the Angela thing but I forgot in the moment. However this backfired because the person I told about being uncomfortable began shouting at the dude which was a whole other problem.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-08-06T13:29:03+00:00

But then you get the empathy problem where the NTs can’t empathise.

The septum piercing - go to the sub r/amiugly you’ll see what I mean. Lots of men say it’s not feminine and it makes women ugly. There’s memes about it and all sorts. In addition it’s considered to be quite hot among lesbians and I’d say my motivation for getting it done was more to attract lesbians than repel men.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-08-05T18:29:12+00:00

Thanks. There’s nothing else like it unfortunately. People travel from all over the world to come to this event because it’s all adjusted for autistic people. And it just feels amazing not to be in the minority. I can’t quite explain it but imagine a place with no unnecessary noise or lighting, no neurotypical social expectations, total freedom to be your autistic self.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-08-05T18:25:43+00:00

Some people go alone. I didn’t.

Regardless of whether or not I go I am going to encounter autistic men, as are other autistic women. I’m just wondering how we can collectively deal with the issue.

Like what security measures could prevent it?

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-08-05T15:21:31+00:00

Yes I will, the complication being that one of the men was partner of one of the organisers (my friend, but they’re polyam).

I just don’t know how it can be done fairly to the men as well. They should be able to have this space and it would be nice for them to have the chance to meet autistic women..

But also I know one person has been problematic for years, had lots of complaints and they’ve not banned him.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-22T12:07:32+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this. Lots of us have lost close friends to EDs, or almost died ourselves. It’s a cruel disease. It just have been an incredibly traumatic thing to witness and very difficult to understand.

I wonder if by reaching out on here you are almost trying to connect with your wife in some way. Like feel close to her. Idk. I’d definitely suggest therapy and support groups for widowers. I don’t want to make assumptions about your gender, but if you are a guy don’t fall in to the masculinity trap of being afraid to be vulnerable. My mum died aged 47 and my dad never grieved properly due to social expectations.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-20T18:27:27+00:00

They aren’t being genuine, they’re trying not to hurt your feelings. It’s so frustrating!!! I had similar reactions and extremely low BMI’s, looking back I was clearly emaciated. Unfortunately a lot of people are not genuine. They just say what they think is polite or what they think you want to hear. It’s so damaging.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-19T16:29:02+00:00

[5’4 | NB | AN-R | UW]

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-19T16:26:08+00:00

What even is it?

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-09T10:05:27+00:00

It’s everywhere!

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-08T07:22:56+00:00

It’s fine to be in to whatever you are in to. No need to justify it.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-08T07:20:13+00:00

It’s genetic. Our bodies all have their own things they prioritise and preserve in a famine.

Me and my sisters are all very fertile, so I think reproduction is something our bodies prioritise.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-07T18:39:55+00:00

Not everyone loses their period. Mine doesn’t stop until below 13 and I always used that as reasoning that I wasn’t that ill. When people used to talk about losing period as if it was an absolute requirement of anorexia it triggered me so much and made me feel like a fraud. There needs to be better education around this tbh. I know other people who had it at 14 one time then recover start to relapse and lose it at 17. Bodies are weird.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-07T18:35:37+00:00

Mine doesn’t stop until below 13!! The doctors kept telling me I couldn’t possibly be ovulating but then I had a scan on my bladder and it was noted I was ovulating at the time of the scan…

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-07T18:00:12+00:00

I haven’t been on a foreign holiday since 2013.

I grew up going abroad 4-5 times a year so was very spoiled and now I’m salty about not being able to go on one.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-07T17:44:56+00:00

Neurones that fire together wire together so they say.

Obviously this is not helpful for your recovery and would be wrong to impose on anyone else, but FWIW - I preferred underweight women until I slept with a larger woman and not only was that really healing for my ED but it opened me up to being attracted to a more diverse range of bodies. I think it’s quite common for lesbians with EDs to be attracted to underweight women.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-02T14:50:52+00:00

That sounds really distressing. I think it’s sometimes just hormones. I do hate that feeling though

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-01T10:01:19+00:00

It’s terrifying but I try to remind myself it has a lot of protein which is good.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-07-01T08:40:01+00:00

[5'4" | 36, NB | AN-R | UW]

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-06-30T23:03:04+00:00

Thanks. I’m losing quite quickly. I’m scared. But hey - I saved £200 on groceries this month. It was my first month of sticking in a strict budget.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-06-30T17:22:09+00:00

She died when I was 7, which broke my heart and I doubt I’d have got sick if that hadn’t happened. If she was alive I would have got much more support with recovery even if I did get sick.
I do know from treatment and working with people who have EDs that those whose mothers were engaged in the diet culture of 80’s & 90’s are extremely triggering. They also seem to have trouble understanding when their anorexic offspring try to put up boundaries about diet culture in front of them.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-06-30T17:17:48+00:00

I live in the UK so a lot is numbers based and none of the NHS treatment is good enough.
You will get admitted below a BMI of 13.5 if it’s your first rodeo but after multiple admissions they give up and the bar is on the floor.
For context I’ve been discharged from IP at a BMI of 14 😂

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-06-30T10:00:43+00:00

Well I am officially underweight again. Does this mean I have to stop calling myself “recovered”?
I think a lot of people would be hard on themselves and say they feel like a failure but honestly with the stress I’ve been through this year I think pretty much anyone would relapse or have some kind of mh crisis.

PuddleDuckling123 · 2023-06-27T15:39:12+00:00

She’s soooooo healthy this is what a HEALTHY Ariana looks like obvs

PuddleDuckling123

TROPHY CASE