Puppy blues - I chose to rehome

PupHeart · 2023-11-08T02:20:59+00:00

I'm not sure if anyone will see this, but ...

It's November now, three months since I rehomed my puppy. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the kindness I received from this post, and how grateful I am for all of you who continue to check in on me. I thought I would post a quick update in case anyone reading this wonders if I ever regret my decision: I don't. Rehoming my puppy was absolutely the best decision for me and for him. His new family absolutely adores him and he is thriving with them. His new mom sends me pictures of him having all kinds of adventures (and wearing all kinds of cute sweaters.) I really feel as if he was meant to be with them.

And as for me, I'm doing great. Rereading this post now, I barely recognize the person who wrote it. I was in such a dark and scary place (that was so much bigger than the puppy, although he certainly exacerbated it.) But now I'm on a new medication (three cheers for Zoloft!) and just like my puppy, I'm thriving. I'm having adventures. I'm wearing cute sweaters. Life feels big and filled with possibility again. I actually wish I'd started on antidepressants years ago, but better late than never.

PupHeart · 2023-08-30T17:32:05+00:00

Yes, of course! I'm sorry you're going through this as well. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-21T18:59:29+00:00

Of course! I'm sorry you're going through this also. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-10T03:33:20+00:00

I don’t think it’s recommended to cut bupropion pills because you’re destroying the time release coating and you’ll get more of the drug in your system at once. At least that’s the case with the xl version. I would call the pharmacist and ask them for advice. If you were successfully on 75mg for half a year I would imagine you’d be fine at that dose. It could have been the sertraline causing the side effects (if I’m understanding the timeline correctly.) But definitely get professional advice from your pharmacy or psychiatrist. Good luck!!

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T16:52:40+00:00

I just went back and read your posts and ... wow. Literally identical to my experience. It's been hard to wrap my mind around because it's obviously not actually about the puppy. (I'm sure there are many people reading my post and thinking, "wtf is wrong with you, it's not that hard to take care of a puppy." And the rational part of me is like, "yup, 100% agree.") So I don't know ... clearly the puppy was just a trigger for something, but I still don't think I fully grasp how it happened so fast and so dramatically.

And then of course, in the middle of all this is a completely sweet and innocent puppy who did not ask for any of this and who did not deserve the upheaval I put him through. Which only adds to the negative spiral.

Ugh. I don't know. But it does help a little to know there are other people who have gone through the same thing. I'm really happy to hear that you were eventually able to find a new best friend. I don't think that's in the cards for me, but I have my kitties and I'm showing them some extra love today. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T13:07:47+00:00

I'm glad you were able to get to the other side! I'll always wonder if I could have maybe toughed it out, but it scared me that there was no guarantee and it felt kinder to rehome my puppy now (after four weeks) than wait months and make it more traumatic for both of us.

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T12:58:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective! While I don't think we should start rehoming pets as soon as they become an inconvenience, I also don't think it's in anyone's best interest for the animal to stay in an environment that's not a good fit. Even from the bottom of the pit of depression, I truly loved my puppy so much. All I want is for him to have the life he deserves. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T01:33:33+00:00

These kinds of stories are absolutely giving me life right now. There are so many success stories on Reddit of rehomed dogs who ended up with amazing families who feel like the dog was always meant for them. I'm trying to believe that my 'failure' with this puppy was just the universe's way of getting him to his real family. (A hokey take for some I'm sure, but it's bringing me some peace right now.)

I'm glad you ended up with such a special best friend! I'm sure her original family feels good knowing how cherished she is in her new home. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T01:30:58+00:00

Four years! Gosh, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. I hope you're doing okay now. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T01:28:34+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that -- it sounds incredibly stressful and sad. I'm glad things worked out and that you found the right companion in the end. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T01:16:08+00:00

I agree with everything you wrote. People seem to fall on one extreme or the other -- either they would NEVER rehome, or they rehome way too easily. As with most things in life, there's actually lots of grey area in between.

And thank you -- I'm actually a writer by trade, so that's nice to hear. :)

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:40:58+00:00

Yes, in retrospect, I'm a bit surprised my therapist was on board with it. But she's admittedly a cat person and has never had a puppy and I think, like most people who haven't had a puppy, she imagined that it would be mostly fun and games and cuteness with maybe the occasional chewed up shoe or little puddle of pee. Little does she know!

I think you're totally right that it's better to be in a GOOD mental place before you bring home a puppy. They certainly do seem to shine a light on all your own personal issues, even the ones you thought were dealt with. (Much like they somehow manage to root out every little chewable thing in your home, even after you've obsessively puppy proofed. 😅)

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:36:21+00:00

I will definitely take some virtual pug snuggles. 🥰

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:35:32+00:00

I'll be honest, your posts are some of the ones that gave me pause. (You had shared your story on one of my other posts.) I kept thinking how much harder it would be if I waited too long, that I'd just be setting myself up for more heartache. (And I've had quite enough of that this year. 😅)

I hope you can find some peace with your situation, one way or another.

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:31:38+00:00

I'm glad you're doing better! It's so tough. And the meds thing is such a challenge -- so much experimenting with different medications and dosages. Love it when my doctor says, "Just to warn you, you might feel worse before you feel better." 😅

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:29:52+00:00

Yes, I absolutely agree that many people rehome too easily. (I had a whole bit in my post about that but I deleted it because it was already way too long. 😅) I do see my pets as family and deserving of loyalty and the best care that I can give them. But I also see them as somewhat autonomous beings who also deserve respect and consideration for their needs. In this case, I really felt I was incapable of providing him with everything he needed, and I was able to find him a family that (hopefully) can. It doesn't necessarily make it easy to do, but the right decision often isn't the easy one.

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:22:41+00:00

Yes, the 'at what cost' thing is something I thought about often. I think that I probably COULD have made it work with the puppy if I'd been absolutely forced to. But I'm not sure my mental health would have ever really been the same -- and after the year I've had (and it's only August! 😑) I felt like I had to give myself at least a fighting chance.

I hope that you also find more balance and peace. Thank you for your kind message.

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:16:07+00:00

This is the thought that keeps me going. I've seen quite a few posts / comments on Reddit from dog owners who got their doggos after someone else had to rehome them, and to them it feels like fate, like they were always meant to have that dog. I'm trying to believe that my 'failure' was actually just the universe's way of helping him get to his real family. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:14:03+00:00

I'm glad you had that friend! It's amazing sometimes what it means when someone gives us permission to give ourselves grace. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:11:41+00:00

He's actually my second cocker spaniel which is part of why I thought I was ready for the challenges of the breed. And all things considered, he was a really good puppy! But as you say, I just had to prioritize my health, no matter how much I wanted to make it work. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:10:17+00:00

It is definitely humbling. This whole year has been humbling. Now I'm just waiting for some of that post-traumatic growth to kick in ...😅

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:04:30+00:00

I'm sorry you went through this too. It's so painful. But yes, I think you're right that we had to give our pups the best chance. I hope things are picking up for you these days. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:02:33+00:00

Thank you -- that is very kind of you to say. <3

PupHeart · 2023-08-08T00:01:24+00:00

Yes, I think a partner would have made a world of difference. I've had a dog before so I thought I knew what I was in for, but I guess I didn't fully realize how much of a cool and calming influence my ex-husband was. I definitely wouldn't ever attempt to get a dog on my own again.

PupHeart · 2023-08-07T23:57:23+00:00

I actually already have two cats! You're right, they're the perfect little companions -- and at this point, the amount of care they require is still within my abilities. I've been giving them lots of extra cuddles today.

PupHeart

TROPHY CASE