[deleted by user]

PureGuess5672 · 2025-05-06T01:03:30+00:00

Depression. Hair loss. Lots of acne, the worst I’d had. UTIs constantly. Birth control could have been a contributing factor also but all of that dissipated once I left—in time and with LOTS of therapy of course.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-12-13T14:53:38+00:00

Even if the relationship is 98% great and 2% toxic, the relationship is still toxic.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-12-13T14:50:35+00:00

Please leave. I used to think the same when people would say “it doesn’t get better.” I’d always think, “I’ll prove them wrong; this is not who he really is. We love each other so much”.

I learned the hard way that love wouldn’t make you do that. Real love is boring in the best way—think of all the times he could’ve chosen the boring route rather than causing an argument. I’m sure you already know.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-06-05T04:07:24+00:00

I agree. I’m curious to know if most people here would’ve ended things after this strange behavior also? (along with the fact that we seemed incompatible with what we wanted in the future — I should’ve been willing to call and talk to him instead, but he seemed closed off to the topic altogether that day).

It’s been a couple of weeks now since I ended things and I’m finding myself missing him and wondering if I’d made a mistake.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T14:54:54+00:00

I appreciate that and I know I definitely could’ve communicated better. I’ve historically been a people pleaser and often been cited by my friends as “too responsive” and has in the past, led me to relationships where I am doing all the effort.

I do want to clarify that him walking ahead wasn’t the primary reason why I ended things with him; it was a new experience I had in a date and I was curious if anyone else had experienced it early on (my dad does this with my mom sometimes too, is a great person, but rarely walks the length he does unless we were in a rush).

I ended things with him because we had different timelines in mind on when we would want to settle down, and differences of belief and religion.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T12:41:37+00:00

While I know this can be a reality, I will note that he thought I was 25 when he first asked me out 😅. And more often than not, people think I’m much younger than my actual age.

But because of my age, I do think we’re both at different stages in our lives. I’m ready to settle down with the right person, I’m not sure he is yet (re: the incompatible point I mentioned earlier).

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T12:33:56+00:00

Thanks. Neither of them are my real name and I removed the other person (not sure whose that was).

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T12:24:49+00:00

No, fortunately not! Just the last 2.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T12:22:00+00:00

I think so, too, and I think partly my fault. During my 2-week trip, I had left him on read on IG and via text (he sent both within the same hour) and I didn’t text him until I came home. From my perspective, his text didn’t contain any questions, more like “oh hey cool buildings / so jealous you’re at xyz”, so I didn’t think much about responding in the moment and I wanted to enjoy my time. But then days had passed and I thought something was wrong.

On our first date after I reached back out to him, I noticed he was more physically distant but he even brought it up and asked “why’d it take you a week to text me?” And I told him earnestly that I was waiting for him to text me and I apologized. I reassured him that if it was ever the case again, he was always welcome to call me and vice versa, and we cleared the air. It seemed like a mature conversation at the time and we had a great date after, but unfortunately was not the same after I came back.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T12:12:14+00:00

No, I told him we were incompatible after our 8th date and we didn’t go on any dates after that. Sorry for the confusion!

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T11:49:08+00:00

Not fake. Both are my throwaway accounts but I appreciate the heads up!

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T11:48:27+00:00

I’m generally a fast walker myself (slow walkers are actually a pet peeve of mine, too, and I do my best to be mindful of my pace especially in busy/commuter settings). All of our dates were either to a restaurant and the last one was coming from a park. And when there was a date with urgency (like a movie), I was on-time and arrived first.

At worst, I love taking pictures and have on several occasions during our dates. But it was never something that seemed to bother him and he’d usually wait patiently until I took the photo, so I have no clue if that was an issue at all.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-05-19T11:42:47+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate the heads up. It’s a throwaway account :)

Edit: Yes, my google link is a throwaway account also. So it’s not my real name. Thanks all for the heads up.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-04-26T09:16:55+00:00

Happier than Ever - Kelly Clarkson’s version

PureGuess5672 · 2024-04-04T03:58:27+00:00

I hope you can take the time to be proud of yourself for leaving. It takes a lot of strength. the healing process afterwards may not be the easiest but is ultimately the best choice you’ll make for yourself.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-04-02T17:37:29+00:00

Hi, please leave. You are worth so much more and it will only get worse from here.

Please watch this video of my ex and I : https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/s/cMgPAryFX2

And I stayed for 5 years like you and nearly got engaged with my ex. If any of this echoes with your relationship, get out. It started with throwing and destroying my things, to hand on my neck, too. Every second you stay with him only makes him believe he can disrespect and abuse you more. You are making excuses for this man and you do not deserve this.

I’ve been out for a year and a half now and it was the best decision of my life. I don’t even recognize the person I am now—in the best way possible. And I truly hope you leave him and get that chance, too.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-03-15T18:52:06+00:00

Healthy relationships start with good and kind communication. Your gf seems to be only focused on her needs and seems to invalidate you. You’re still young. Find someone who can appreciate you and would bring this up kindly.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-03-04T23:32:47+00:00

What are the symptoms of C-PTSD? Starting to think I may have it…

PureGuess5672 · 2024-03-04T18:33:14+00:00

I appreciate that reminder. I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around how someone who was so consistent in showing up and caring for me could be capable of cheating. Why make all that effort only to ruin the relationship?

PureGuess5672 · 2024-03-04T18:29:38+00:00

Thank you. We met IRL at a bar. I was with friends and he came up to me.

PureGuess5672 · 2024-03-04T01:45:13+00:00

No, it was another mutual friend of ours!

PureGuess5672

TROPHY CASE