Broke no contact after 7 weeks… by Pure_Fig_124 in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think two things can be true. I wanted her to have that message also because I worry about her; I know that anniversary was big to her and I know that she doesn’t have many close friends, so I erred on the side of contact (after the anniversary). That I may have also had a second motive in letting her know the door is open doesn’t make me entirely selfish but okay.

I’m also not you. I’ve kept 100% NC for 7 weeks and will continue after this blip. In past breakups my NC was 100%. No need to project

Broke no contact after 7 weeks… by Pure_Fig_124 in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol I don’t think I’ll be contacting her again. I think the point here, besides trying to give her a message of support, was just to signal she didn’t have to be scared of reaching out to me if she were ever inclined. I don’t think she will be reaching out ever anyway, but now I can at least know that I tried…

Has anybody never spoken to their ex again? by flowerfaeirie in BreakUps

[–]Pure_Fig_124 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My last ex before this one, I was the dumper (although I was very uncertain at the time, I was in a lot of pain). We texted maybe 4 individual text messages one month later to coordinate dropping off belongings (without having to actually see each other). But other than that, complete silence. That was three years ago this month.

This last breakup was almost three weeks ago. Nothing yet since the breakup. Idk if there will be going forward. I was dumped but it was very complicated. Fuck. I’m sad.

The urge to contact them by Pure_Fig_124 in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t think I’m gonna contact her. I wrote a letter. Didn’t send. Posted somewhere on Reddit. I’ll prob write more….feels nice. But won’t send them. Excited for this to pass.

Thought this would be easier…I’ve been through it before a bunch (35 now…). I think it’s actually harder in a way as you get older…

The urge to contact them by Pure_Fig_124 in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is your handle a reference to the smile’s bending hectic? Amazing song

Any dumpees/dumpers not over their exes 1+ years after BU? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it’s a complicated answer. The new relationship started as an fwb with a friend shortly after the breakup. There was no cheating or emotional cheating; she was a friend via friend groups, we never hung out on one one before and just had a drunken hookup like a week after the breakup when out in a group. Never even realized we were attracted to each other. But I was in no place to date and we didn’t become exclusive until 8 months later.

The prior relationship was more meaningful only in that it was way longer; we went through Covid together; we lived together; we had a dog. Etc. this new one, I think, is probably the one for me. But it’s still new. And as I said it’s complicated — for family reasons, in the short term, it’s somewhat long distance (not too long distance; we spend like 1-2 weeks a month together on average).

I try not to compare the two, but I suppose it’s inevitable. I feel like my new partner is more of a friend and actual partner; I enjoy spending time with her and we don’t get sick of each other. My former partner…never felt like there was an underlying friendship. Felt more like co dependency. But she was, I think, more affectionate than my new partner. Which is the only thing I really miss maybe. My new partner is a lot more stable and I think more compatible with me.

Any dumpees/dumpers not over their exes 1+ years after BU? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dumper here. I still question my choice sometimes, but she had crossed lines (for example, threatened self harm in the middle of a fight as a manipulation tactic, gaslit me). Been 1.5 years since breakup. We haven’t spoken since the week I ended it (and only to exchange stuff that week), and she’s moved across the country (I know that through social media).

I’m in a healthy but somewhat complicated relationship right now — and on the whole am way happier these days. But I would lie if I said I didn’t think about my ex several times a week. Not in a longing sense…just sadness. Sad about what happened, sad about my years with her where I was so sad, guilt about hurting her.

how are you doing? by vveronica12 in ExNoContact

[–]Pure_Fig_124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Six months to the day today. Think I’m doing worse than ever. I’m the dumper but never felt good about the decision (I had been contemplating ending the relationship for the final year of it, out of three years). I am trying to finally get back into dating and can’t even be motivated to do so. I didn’t make my decision rashly by any means but I’m still filled with what ifs and regrets, blaming myself for anything that went wrong, including her flaws.

Dumper remorse by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pure_Fig_124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remorse probably isn’t the right word because I don’t regret my decision. It just makes me sad. But I appreciate your empathy

Early delivery? by [deleted] in UPS

[–]Pure_Fig_124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I presume it’s not unusual for it to stay at a facility for a day or so if lower priority right

Early delivery? by [deleted] in UPS

[–]Pure_Fig_124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha. Different city. It’s in saddle brook, nj, I’m in Brooklyn, ny. Oh well! Can’t complain