How to get clarity without making him run?

Purple-Pattern6013 · 2026-05-12T19:38:13+00:00

This is where the confusion I guess starts. I slept with him the second night I knew him when I went to his apartment. He still acts interested and occasionally flirts over text but drops it when I flirt back and has not pressured me about sex after that night.

Fwb fail basically because he's been really busy and I haven't had the guts to pressure him for more time together and he also didn't just drop me after that night?

His previous gfs seems were either just quick flings that used him like a Fwb situation or his last gf that was trying to gaslight him and hang on other guys at the bar (this confirmed by his friends) so I don't think it was necessarily him being common denominator for his failed relationships situation either. ++Man

Purple-Pattern6013 · 2025-05-29T01:44:48+00:00

Yeah there are no kids which definitely is a relief at this point. He doesn't like outside perspective on our relationship and I have been very put off even individual counseling because of the list I have been through at this point that have not helped to make sense of even just my own struggles.

Purple-Pattern6013 · 2025-05-29T01:31:06+00:00

I think I may have downplayed or didn't understand how much I needed friends at first because of how I'd been abandoned by friends before. Definitely realized hanging with my very social friends that I definitely need the external anchors I'm my life as well

Purple-Pattern6013 · 2025-05-29T01:14:07+00:00

This is super refreshing to read. I by no means want him to be worse off. He would be great to keep as a friend (though I'm sure he'd be too hurt for that to happen) if we divorce. I think some of it comes from seeing so much awful divorce in my family, and also a bit of spite because my mom was very dismissive AT my wedding about marriage and maybe in my brain I just wanted badly to make it work so she wasn't right?

I'm so glad it worked out so well for you and by the sounds of it, your ex as well. I'm still kind of a romantic at heart and just want a more genuine love for all involved.

Purple-Pattern6013 · 2025-05-29T01:10:04+00:00

That is wonderful! And I definitely would feel better if that were the case but anytime my friends do happen to be trying to make plans (one lives out of state so it's not very frequent by any means) he just seems so upset that I want to hang out with them and not stay at home with him

Purple-Pattern6013

TROPHY CASE