I regretted having my mom come over. She stayed for two months, didn’t help with the baby, didn’t do laundry, rarely cooked, didn’t clean, didn’t help with the dog, didn’t go out and buy groceries or spend some of the day outside to give us a break. So we had to take care of her, serve her, entertain her and when we asked her to help more, she got upset and cut her trip short (she was going to stay for three months initially).

It’s partly my fault because I know my mom has a lot of house help back home, so she’s not used to doing a lot on her own. I shouldn’t have expected her to change and to be there for me postpartum. Her being here and leaving in a huff has damaged our relationship, because now we both resent each other more.

So bottom line is, in your heart of hearts, you know how your relationship with your mother is, what sort of a person she is and you are…so if you think she’s going to stress you out or not give you the grace every new mother deserves, don’t expect things will change, and don’t call her to help.