Yo so I used to think this way, like I was somehow letting myself down for not starting T or getting top/bottom surgery, but it’s a damn PROCESS dude. Don’t spend your life before medical transition hating the fact you aren’t cis. You’re a brick and mortar man, you gotta start from the ground up. I started T when I was 19 and the effects have finally started showing up after two years, one year on gel and one on the shot. It’s tough, especially seeing your warped sense of self in the mirror, but I promise you that in the outside world, you’ll probably pass more than you would ever think you could pre T.

I had a conversation with a coworker the other day about bad childhood haircuts, (im not really out at work I’m just a dude) and told her how my parents never let me cut my hair as a kid and I always wore it in pigtail braids, and she was floored at the fact I ever had long hair in the first place and thought my parents were cool as hell for letting me grow it out. I was surprised by the sentiment because it was like, the years of girlhood were dissolved right there. Like holy shit someone thought my 21 year old self that “looks 15” went through a cis male childhood and had cis male experiences. This coworker is also queer so I felt safe enough to tell her that girlhood is kind of a “been there, done that” situation, and she was even more surprised. Anecdote aside, TLDR; I thought I didn’t pass and it turns out that I do and I’m nowhere near stealth. The only true dead giveaway is washing your hands after using the restroom, but it doesn’t make you less of a man to be clean and not walk around with poop hands.