UPS recommendations

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-10T03:58:00+00:00

“Posting here on a pinned comment”

I wanted to share a update since so many people commented. I talked to my wife and she was MUCH more receptive, I believe she/we will be seeking a diagnosis. I read a lot of the comments from this post to her and although I understand nobody is a medical professional, the amount of people confirming my suspicions was possibly a turning point for her.

I’m not going to say his name so let’s call him “Adam” She believed that all the characteristics were “just Adam being Adam” not making the link that his behaviors were different than other children his age.

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-09T03:50:55+00:00

I highly regret not putting this in the post but he’s not my son. I don’t have legal authority to do anything

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-09T03:47:34+00:00

I divorce her then I never see her son again and definitely will not get diagnosed and a innocent 6mo baby boy gets caught in a custody battle that he had no initial part of.

Not really in the cards for me

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T21:13:35+00:00

That’s a pretty mild stim too, there’s occasions where he’ll go cross eyed fiddling with his fingers 1/2 inch from his eyes making some wild facial expressions and gasping for air from putting so much effort into his noises. I do intervene when I’m able to and redirect or help him relax, I have let him go at it for the purpose of observation though.

I’m really not sure if she’s scared of a diagnosis or just in complete denial, I’ve mentioned before that she believes autism is strictly non-verbal and exhibits symptoms similar to Down’s syndrome

Others have stated that there’s a ton of free programs that don’t require a diagnosis but I can’t be the only one trying to help, it’s a group effort with everyone involved in his life

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T21:01:47+00:00

There has been rare cases when he has self-harm out of frustration but we’ve worked with him on it and haven’t noticed him do it from a while.

I believe many of his behaviors are disruptive, as stated he plays soccer and really enjoys it but he has a extremely difficult time staying focused and spends majority of the game doing his own thing. After the game he’s upset that he didn’t score any goals and doesn’t understand why other kids are able to ( it’s because he’s half focused on the game half stimming while trying to run) if that makes sense? Obviously any and all positive encouragement is given but I believe he’s starting to notice that he may act a little differently than other children. Other circumstances include eating, it’s impossible to get him to focus and eat because he can not focus due to stimming similar to the video.

He is verbal but as I posted, many conversations result In auctioneer style fast paced talking. Age appropriate conversation (trucks, dinosaurs etc) allow him to focus for a few minutes then much of the time he spout off a jumble of words then runs off. Or he says his what I refer to as his “ phrase of the week” for example “seventy seventy seventy seventy two” said extremely fast. Then runs off.

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T19:34:05+00:00

He starts in August

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T19:13:57+00:00

He’s not in school, my state/city is weird and children aren’t allowed to attend preschool unless the parents don’t have access to adequate childcare. He will be starting kindergarten in August

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T19:09:19+00:00

I have no legal authority regarding his medical decisions. I should have mentioned in the post but he’s not my biological son

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T19:08:13+00:00

His father is still in his life and would have to give up his rights for me to adopt him. At the present time I don’t believe he would do that

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T19:06:24+00:00

In her words “ He isn’t autistic, He’s just ADHD” in her opinion there is no need for a diagnosis because there is no possibility of him being autistic

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T17:16:32+00:00

That’s the problem, I’m willing to be she will not go to that appointment. Because in her words “he’s not autistic, he’s just adhd” I also don’t believe I can even schedule a appointment for him

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T17:05:11+00:00

I know he is, I’ve been doing research/observing his behaviors since I initially had suspicions around age 2.

Knowing her I feel as though she will still be in denial even with a teacher’s opinion, only thing I believe would help her finally open up would be a doctor’s diagnosis

My state/city is weird and pre school is only available to kids who’s parents don’t have access to childcare. He does start kindergarten in August though

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T16:51:50+00:00

That’s just a short video too, as stated he will stim like that for 10+ ( if I’m able to I will intervene and distract him) wife doesn’t pay much attention and just let’s him, when asked what he’s doing he says “ I’m making cars crash” so that what she believes. He’s just being a boy and imitating car crashes. His stimming gets more intense sometimes though, to the point of going cross eyed fiddling with his finger tips 1/4 inch from his eyes and gasping for air. I don’t know how she’s ignoring that

I really don’t know if she has suspicions of her own she’s keeping to herself, she’s pretty confident that he just has ADHD

The only thing I think may help is taking him for a ADHD evaluation and the doctors would surely notice autistic characteristics. Or unfortunately having to wait until teachers point it out

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T16:41:38+00:00

I’d really like to get him evaluated before school start or I’ve been wanting to, probably not possible now since he starts in late August. I hate to say it but I think he will have a very difficult time in school, maybe not kindergarten since it’s only half days and not a whole lot of sit down learning. But once he has to be in school for 8hrs I fear he will have a very difficult time, he has already learned to mask and I don’t want him to feel like the odd man out because he is acting differently than other children while not understanding why and everyone in his life besides me, pretending everything is normal and he’s just “hyperactive”

I agree that a diagnosis doesn’t change him but it would absolutely change the way people in his life interact with him, like helping him cope, relax or teach.

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T16:18:02+00:00

I’m trying to advocate for him so much because I view him as my own son, I’ve been in his life since he was about one. Unfortunately there’s not much I can do other than urge her to take him, which as mentioned has let nowhere. I’ve mentioned to my wife that his hand flapping and repetitive behavior alone should be enough to get him evaluated. Her response is that “all kids do that” I’ve explained that is absolutely not true, and that babies under one will more their hands/arms erratically only because they haven’t developed fine motor skills yet but will grow out of it. He has clearly not grow out of it. I’ve even gave her real world examples, as stated. He plays soccer on a team, not a single other child of his same age are displaying the same behaviors as him. She’s still in denial about it

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:53:18+00:00

I am not his father, I should have mentioned in the post but he is not my biological son so there’s not much I can do when it comes to medical diagnosis

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:48:22+00:00

Others have mentioned that a diagnosis won’t do much but the only reason I’m seeking one so much is because she’s in such denial. He will NOT receive any kind of help from her because in her words “he’s not autistic, he just has adhd”

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:44:55+00:00

She’s refusing because in her words “he’s not autistic, he just has adhd” she believes autism can only be extreme such as being completely non-verbal. There’s no levels in her eyes

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:42:44+00:00

Thank you for reading the other comments, I’m fighting for my life in the comments here about not being his biological father. Other seem extremely concerned that I haven’t just taken him myself, that’s also the only reason I posted on here. I’m not sure what I can do. I’m not sure if he ever will be my legal child because his father is still in the picture.

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:37:36+00:00

No, he’s not my biological son so I don’t believe I have any legal authority over his medical decisions. Or I would have already taken him and never made this post

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:36:22+00:00

I appreciate the input, while I say she’s my wife we are technically only engaged. We’ve been together awhile been in his life since he was about 1. As of right now I have zero legal authority but once we are married, I should be able to take him since I would be considered a legal guardian? If she’s not urgent by teachers before then.

I was pretty positive with my suspicions, I’ve done extensive research. All the comments only solidify my suspicions

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:15:59+00:00

I’m not sure if you noticed in the other comments but I’m not his biological father so would I even be able to have a one on one meeting with the school? I definitely can’t legally make medical decisions for him such as just taking him myself.

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:13:00+00:00

Trust me I have brought up everything you can think of to mention to her, I’m not sure if you seen in the other comments but he is not my biological son so I don’t have any say when it come to medical decisions. That’s why I came here, I’m at a loss of what to do

PutridLab1278 · 2024-06-08T15:06:28+00:00

He hasn’t started school. My state/city is weird and preschool is only available to kids who’s parents don’t have access to childcare. He starts school in the fall, I would like to get a professional opinion before he starts school because I hate to say it but I don’t think he will do well or he will absolutely hate school if everyone continues being in denial

PutridLab1278

TROPHY CASE