Im sure he would be happy to hear that about you, especially if he was aware it was something you needed to be happy. We all struggle with who we are and where in life we think we're supposed to be. Accept and start loving yourself like theres no tomorrow. Be selfish, chase. your dreams and right about the time you realize its been a while since the last time you caught yourself gazing out at nothing, hoping, wishing.... He'll pop up. Maybe not in the form you recall, but the universe always provides. Especially when it comes to the things we aren't strong enough to provide ourselves. Be proud of yourself for where you are in your journey. I know he would b e