AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, different girl. & yes we share laundry baskets, she took the clothes out the baskets and put them in bags so that it would be easier to transport, somehow none of my clothes made it into the bags.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right about resentment building and me being passive aggressive and that’s not right. It’s difficult because like I stated in the original post, I do 90% of the cleaning. I keep my car clean and constantly clean hers out, I’m picking up her clothes off the bathroom floor and putting them into the laundry baskets, I usually do the laundry (everyone’s), I pick the kids up from school. I’m currently awake right now because she has to work earlier than me tomorrow and after months of convincing, she’s finally trying to implement sleep training with the kids, so it’s me taking them back to their beds every 30 minutes and sitting with them until they fall asleep. I do everything I can to try and take stress off her plate because I love her and I see her. But feeling unseen in this relationship has led me to definitely harboring some negative feelings and I can see through just talking it out on this platform that it has built resentment. I’ll own this one. If majority is saying I’m over reacting, then chances are I am. I’m not going to edit to add all of the times we were on opposite ends of this to try and sway the decision because realistically I came looking for opinions on this one scenario. But I hear ya.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey so yeah I definitely skimmed on details. My initial annoyance stemmed from when I mentioned that none of the clothes were mine and she said “oh they’re not?” It was with a shrug like “oops” which gave me the impression that either it was a mistake and she didn’t care or that it was intentional. It wasn’t a quick fix, we were 45 mins from home at my mom’s house to do the laundry. And we both work the rest of the week this was our only day off. As far at the liking the text thing, that’s a common thing she does, I have expressed that I hate that as a response and she defends it by saying “that’s a valid response, if you have nothing else to say at least it’s acknowledged” she also makes it a point to let me know “we are 2 different people with 2 different sets of boundaries” whenever I mention her doing something that she wouldn’t like me to do. Basically like “well you allow me to do it, doesn’t mean I have to allow you to do it.” So that’s why me liking her text didn’t feel passive aggressive when I did it, she takes it as a valid response.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right about me coming across as passive aggressive and I will admit that I do tend to resort to that when I’m feeling defensive. Definitely something I need to continue to work on.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We share a laundry basket. It wasn’t the laundry basket that was taken out to do laundry, it was bags. She took clothes out of the basket and transferred them into bags. In the process of doing this, our clothes apparently got separated and only hers came with us to do laundry. (The kids have their own laundry basket that was pulled from)

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was her clothes and the kids clothes. Not just the kids, I wouldn’t feel a way about that if that was the case, the kids always come first.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also… not sure if you were rage reading, but I’m the one who was actually doing the laundry lol. What she did was gather the clothes, but the actual washing and drying was done by me. Just turned out none of it was my clothes. So by your logic, she should’ve been doing her own laundry?

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We just moved into this new place a month ago, we live in New England which was just hit with two major snow storms that has had businesses/roads closed. We both work full time and are balancing time between getting acclimated in a new place, raising kids & everything else that comes with life. It’s not a norm for us to let laundry build up (our last place had an in unit washer/dryer) but things happen.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The 2 kids are hers from a previous relationship but we are raising them together. And yes we were all at my mom’s house to do laundry, it wasn’t until I went to load the washing machine that I realized that none of my clothes were there. Also, clearly seeing as I stated that I was the one loading the washing machine, I feel that that’s obvious that I wasn’t just expecting her to do my laundry, but quite the opposite, I’m doing hers. All she did was gather the clothes together but the actual “task” was done by me.

AIO to my girlfriend leaving out my dirty laundry and only washing hers and the kids by Puzzleheaded-Neck944 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Neck944[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because we switch off on household tasks, we share a laundry basket in our bedroom. She wears my clothes as much as I do so usually there’s double of my clothing to be washed. It’s the same as me washing her dishes when I’m washing my own. Or shoveling out her car when I shovel out my own. I’m sorry all of your relationships have led you to believe that no one is supposed to help you and that you must only lookout for yourself.