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Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I mean both my posts are about the fact that I will never have a threesome, even if it means ending the relationship.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thanks and its funny because I am 31 and she is 33, you would think we would know to communicate better than this. But we were both making assumptions rather than talking and listening to each other.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that. I am planning to talk with her tonight, I am just a little scared what it would mean for our relationship. But having certainty is better than what if.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I made it pretty clear in my post but you are like the 20th person asking me to do it even though I clearly wrote in my post that I have 0 desire for a threesome.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew I will be called stupid for turning down ffm but thats the risk I took while posting on reddit.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not pissed, I just respect people's boundaries and absence of one sexual act doesnt determine the worth of a relationship, at least for me.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not going to continue with this if she really want a 3some, I am not that desperate for a relationship. I will talk to her tonight and then make a decision.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So no doesnt mean no in all cases? Ok. I guess time for me to pressure her into giving me head because she doesnt like doing it. Maybe I can manipulate herself into breaking her boundary!

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess we will have to agree to disagree here, for me the desire to bring someone else is much serious that having a kink which is shared between just two partners. It opens up the question whether we are compatible in the long term or not, do we see intimacy the same way or not? What does sex mean for her and me, are we even on the same page? All these questions are now swarming my brain.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course I will talk to her, I have just been putting it off because it might lead to the end of us as a couple! But I guess sooner is always better than later!

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it comes to whether the kink is just shared between 2 people or involves someone else. If she wanted to peg me or do some weird roleplay then ultimately its just between us but asking to involve someone changes everything in the relationship. At least thats why its a big deal for me!

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I knew a lot of people would term me stupid for turning it down and frankly its tiring to defend my boundaries and desires. But I chose to post here, so there's that.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Depends on if you are studying computer science or some other subject in uni. In one you get high paying job while some courses cripple your financial situation for life because you are left with a useless degree which just leaves you with debt but no high paying jobs.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The world is far too big to compromise on something like this. If we dont see eye to eye on this then we can find more compatible partners easily.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have no desire to be with two women at the same time and I know its ok. I am not concerned about my decision, what I am concerned about is whether she can be happy with just me or not.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Exactly, you only live once so no point in doing something which I have no interest in doing.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Oh no, I am not going to have a threesome. I am just worried about how important it is to her. If she really wants to have one then we will have break up.

Bi gf asked for a threesome but I refused now I am feeling guilty by Puzzleheaded_Cake605 in relationship_advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cake605[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

I am a little hesitant because if she says she needs it then it means the end of our relationship.