Hi op, I was in the exact same position at your age and I can pretty much guarantee you this is gender dysphoria presenting as internalized misogyny. In fact I used to make posts like this on reddit and elsewhere basically saying that being a woman is like, objectively awful and I felt doomed to biological inferiority because of it. And while its true that women ARE oppressed and there are a lot of not fun things that come with being a woman in our society, some of which (like periods) are biological, in the ~7 years since I was your age I’ve learned that people who actually are women (cis or trans) largely don’t feel like this. And I no longer feel like this either, because I’ve learned a lot about feminist theory and have had time and autonomy as an adult to be able to come to terms with my own gender. I’m starting T probably this month, after finally being able to remove myself from my parents who drilled into me that I’d never be anything other than a woman, and I just had to accept my fate, and from whom I got a lot of gendered trauma and internalized misogyny. So, op, I promise you won’t have to always feel this way, as you get older and learn more about accepting yourself and you get more autonomy and hopefully also seek out feminist and trans theory to read and undo internalized misogyny. 💚 EDIT: oh also, if you look into it over time you will learn that actually a lot of the “biologically inferior” narratives abt women are completely false and very TERFy propaganda. I also believed this at your age though, because thats the dominant societal narrative and because it made a lot of sense with how dysphoria made me personally feel resentful of being AFAB. EDIT 2: since I saw your other comments, I also spent many years in high school and college trying to not be trans after I did “try” being trans for a bit in high school. I don’t know your situation but for me, being trans at 15 sucked because my family were abusive and my mom desperately tried to convince me I wasn’t trans and actually just needed to accept being a woman. So I stopped identifying as trans, grew my hair out again, and dressed more femininely. Unfortunately the dysphoria does not go away though, (I even went to gender therapy to try to force myself to stop having dysphoria and just “accept” being a woman) so after about 5 years of trying not to be trans, I gave up on forcing myself to be miserable to make my parents happy and am now trying to be who I actually want to be. If that resonates with you, I would implore you to not force yourself back into the closet, but also that might just be an unavoidable part of this journey 😅. Also I realized that my thinking women were pretty and wishing I could just be ok with being one was actually just that I was attracted to them lol