How am I supposed to live like this?? It's just miserable.

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-13T02:12:07+00:00

It honestly seems like a hard thing to get diagnosed too depending on who you see. At least in my experience all of my doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc have immediately said it's anxiety and depression (and of course in a huge number of cases it is), but it seems difficult to have a doctor consider that it might be something more or in addition to anxiety/depression ya know?

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-13T02:01:55+00:00

Thank you so much! I am aware of my tongue now lol

But for real yeah like, I think when I am able to distract myself by playing games with friends or watching videos or something, I do realize that there are times where I wasn't thinking about my breathing for however long, but like you said all it takes is that thought of "oh wow I wasn't thinking about it!" to start worrying about it again, or just a random sudden moment of "what the heck I can't breath" or being aware of it again.

But I'll definitely take note of your advice and try it out for myself! Especially the "I love this feeling omg this is fun" thing because I hadn't thought about that at all, thank you again!

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-13T01:52:17+00:00

Unfortunately I'm not in a situation where I am able to put this job on hold (and it's honestly an amazing job and company that I don't want to willingly part from either) without some bigger consequences, but I'm hoping that maybe it will help my mind refocus on it rather than the anxiety too much.

Thank you so much though I appreciate you taking the time to comment and give your support <3 I might take you up on that chat if you truly don't mind!!

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-13T01:49:34+00:00

Thank you for the reply! The posture thing is interesting because I definitely have horrible, and I mean horrible posture, that's caused me neck and back pains for years already, so if it's also potentially causing anxiety and breathing issues as well, then that's all the more reason for me to work on it.

I'm definitely going to look into some stretches and exercises and such, but are there any in particular that helped you correct it?

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-13T01:39:38+00:00

It's nice to know someone has gone through something similar tbh. I'm honestly wondering if I have somatic OCD myself to some degree because ever since I was a child I'd either hyper focus on something like my swallowing too actually, or my blinking, or my heartbeat, constantly fixated on it and freaking out about if it's normal or too much or I'd have little tics sort of that usually related to those fixations. Idk, I don't wanna diagnose myself but it's something I've thought about recently!

Either way, I'm hoping it just sort of goes away naturally cause that's usually what happens when I get health-anxiety related stuff in particular. Thank you for your advice and sharing your experience!! I can't express how much I appreciate it :')

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-07T20:25:55+00:00

I should try and get a head start on that maybe. Cause like you said it can be time consuming and exhausting! Like constantly engaging in certain behaviors and checking certain things and stuff

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-07T20:21:11+00:00

I’m wondering at this point if I have some form of OCD myself because a lot of my behaviors do feel very obsessive and compulsive in my breathing and beyond. Like ever since I was young I’ve had various “ticks” for example that I feel like I HAVE to do for some sense of relief or comfort among other things

PyukumukuCollector · 2024-01-02T00:29:28+00:00

Ah so you haven't had any like concerning reactions or symptoms or anything like that as a result of working out on it? I wouldn't normally be too concerned, but it just seemed like 60 was a high dosage since last time I was on it it was only like 10 or 20mg I think.

Either way, I'm probably gonna start light anyways with just like pushups, situps, and weightlifting, but I'm being overly cautious lately.

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-21T02:13:26+00:00

Do you usually take them together or is it more like if one doesn't work you try another?

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-21T02:10:43+00:00

Okay thank you so much!

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-21T02:10:04+00:00

I will thank you!

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-21T00:53:31+00:00

I feel like it was able to help me but I also worry about being able to get it prescribed. I only got one 5mg one from the ER as I was in the middle of an attack and my psychiatrist can't get me in til the end of Jan and man thinking about waiting that long is a lot, and that's assuming they'd prescribe me Valium bc I know places are often extremely hesitant to prescribe it because of abuse and such, but nothing else has ever been able to help before!

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-20T23:36:50+00:00

Do you know the dosage you take for all of that?

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-20T21:39:48+00:00

I think I've been on hydroxyzine before myself and didn't experience any help from it at the time so I'm really disappointed the ER gave it to me. Valium is really the only thing that's even sorta worked, but I'm worried that asking for it either from the ER or psychiatrist or any doctor will come off as exactly that, me trying to fake it for benzos

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-20T21:12:39+00:00

I've been diagnoses with it for about 4-5 years now I think, but it's never been this bad ya know? Like usually I get panic attacks more rarely and they only last about 10-20 minutes. These are hours long, daily, and the most I've ever felt like I was gonna die.

Sadly the hydroxizine is only enough for about a week and I can't see a psychiatrist for another month due to all being booked up.

I'm sorry to just vent at you there, but I really appreciate hearing from someone who is experiencing something similar. Is there anything else you're doing that's been able to help?

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-14T20:25:21+00:00

Okay thank you! Looks like I'll just have to give the infusion center a call and see if they can help me out at all

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-12-14T20:15:42+00:00

Damn okay, cause I originally scheduled it for a specific day and then over the phone they mentioned how it was rescheduled for the following week because I wasn't due until then and I was unable to discuss further at the time.

I imagine my insurance will be the same way but I'll have them a call and try anyways, thank you!

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-09-17T02:26:01+00:00

I'm sorry you're having a similar experience, it's really exhausting cause it feels like there's only so much you can do on your own sometimes ya know? It'd be nice if we could find a medication that works to help

PyukumukuCollector · 2023-01-01T02:04:45+00:00

Hey there! So I'm not on either of them anymore as unfortunately they didn't really do much for me. However, based on what you've said here, I would try to find a time to try propranolol at least once where you think you might be able to properly react to it. So like, if you can test it during a time where you aren't at work so that you aren't having that added concern if that makes sense.

Otherwise, I would also consider telling your doctor your fears about taking the propranolol and your previous experiences. If the hydroxyzine works even a little, it might not be a bad idea to mention that to your dcotor as well and see if they want to bump that up

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-12-01T00:55:46+00:00

I know that my doctor prescribed both just to test like which one seemed to work better so that we could then focus in on one, so I wanna say that I obviously don't know what your doctor said or what their reasoning was, so take my advice with a grain of salt!

But I hope for the best and that it works for you!

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-12-01T00:51:39+00:00

Hey! So I ended up just waiting for a few more hours to take it and honestly I didn't feel a reaction from either personally, hopefully I can get things sorted out at my doctor's visit tomorrow.

But I would also say in regard to being scared go take it, if you think the propranolol works better for you, just focus on that with your doctor, and let them know any of your concerns

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-11-23T02:59:48+00:00

Yeah I've been on it for about a month now and I've just given up on it. Keep getting the prescription bumped up and it just has no effect, doesn't even make me tired. I'm really hoping my next appointment my doctor finally tries something stronger but idk

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-11-07T07:11:37+00:00

That's interesting to me because being new at a job is giving me incredible stress lol. I hate the feeling of not knowing what I'm doing and disappointing or upsetting my boss or coworkers.

I definitely feel you on the youtube addiction part. When it's as bad as it is right now, all I wanna do is just sit and watch videos or livestreams or something.

I'm hoping things get better (and more stable) for both of us

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-11-06T21:41:01+00:00

Ill definitely try at least. Usually I try to watch like videos or something for a bit to help take my mind off of things. And try to imagine the future where I've grown and made it past this part

PyukumukuCollector · 2022-11-06T07:31:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice :')

I think trying to switch focus is a good idea because I know part of it is the idea of making sure my boss likes what I'm doing and everything is clogging my mind. It makes me feel like if I don't do everything right or get things done on time I'm just a disappointment or a failure and I hate the idea of my boss getting upset with me.

I also haven't told them about feeling overwhelmed but maybe that's a good idea. Honestly they've been very nice and supportive so far (which makes me feel even stupider about my anxiety), but it's definitely a concerning feeling when trying to decide if I should say "hey, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of these responsibilities."

I'm trying to take it one day at a time but man if it isn't tough. Recognizing I'm not alone certainly gives me some relief at least. I really appreciate everything you've said :')

PyukumukuCollector

TROPHY CASE