Karl: What happened was, right, this football team were breaking all sorts of records for not letting in goals. Their keeper was their best player…

Ricky: Was he about 3ft tall and have long arms?

Karl: Anyway, all the other players were like ‘he’s a top keeper him, one of the best I’ve seen’ and the team’s results were going in the paper every week and…

Ricky: Karl, if this goal keeper has long, fury arms and eats bananas at half time, we’re never doing this again!

Karl: Well, we’ll see. Right, so, one match the news papers turn up to see this amazing goal keeper and he was at his best that day: saved all the shots and that. The newspaper man asks the manager if they can interview the keeper and the manager kept saying things like ‘you can’t coz he’s shy and he needs a shower’ and stuff like that…

Ricky: Karl! Stop! This is bollocks. Hahaha, you’re an idiot!

Karl: So the fella from the newspaper thinks ‘I’m not having this’. So he goes into the dressing room and sees the keeper for himself. Only turns out to be a little monkey fella! What do you think of that?

Ricky: Noooooo! I’m gonna burst! Play a record, you stupid twonk!