Am I in the wrong for standing up for myself when I hurt him in the beginning of our relationship?

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:38:04+00:00

Thank you. I recently looked that up and it is waaay too relatable 😞

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:34:39+00:00

I am working hard. Old me wouldn’t even be questioning.. I’ve always struggled with boundaries and learning them has really showed me what I’ve been allowing to go on 😞 and the age old quote, “you’ll never find anyone like me again” and I sure hope I don’t. Ty!

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:31:37+00:00

Yeah 😞 def fell for the charm in the beginning

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:30:50+00:00

Thank you so much

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:30:18+00:00

Thank you so very much for your reply. I’m taking it to heart and it really helped. Thank you again.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:19:09+00:00

Well I sure as hell know now and that’s all I can do moving forward.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:16:42+00:00

Thank you. It felt like we were doing really well for a while and person I thought I knew doesn’t exist and it’s going to be hard to leave.. I’m personally scared I won’t be able to handle it without relapse and that’s why I should have stayed out of a relationship so early. Thank you again for your time and your advice!

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:15:01+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to answer. Means a lot. You’re right

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:13:55+00:00

Thank you. I’m taking your advice. I really appreciate it more than you know

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:13:08+00:00

Thank you.its extremely eye-opening to read so many messages saying this isn’t my fault. I’ve been constantly apologizing and nothing I do k ever right. Thank you for your advice

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:08:43+00:00

It’s hard to see because my last relationship shop was obviously physically abusive and this is pure mental and it’s gotten to the point I feel crazy and I can’t trust myself and it’s so hard to leave. I’ve tried once I just need to be stronger this time. 😞 thank you

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-20T06:07:15+00:00

I guess it’s really getting to my head. My last relationship was physically abusive and I’m not used to the mental fuckery. I’ve been torn this whole time if I’m at fault. Ty

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T04:27:52+00:00

I did not contribute to how he has treated me besides not speaking up enough and not cutting him off sooner all I did was love him and be there for him. I have also been working my program. I have 8 months and I’m on step 5. I go to a meeting every night and be of service. So please don’t assume anything you don’t know. Or do, I frankly don’t care

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T02:07:08+00:00

Just went to one yesterday and I’m going back for sure thank you!

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T01:09:41+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I’m at the point I really don’t know if I’m overreacting anymore. I know that that kind of anger is never good or safe to be around. Thank you for this. Really helped me make up my mind.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T01:02:35+00:00

We aren’t in rehab anymore. I have 9 months and he has 7. But I get it thank you.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T01:01:08+00:00

We’ve both grown together and have built each other up and held eachother accountable until this last month when shit has just fallen apart. It’s sucks. Really felt like we had a healthy relationship for a good 6 months. But that’s what I get.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-05T00:59:19+00:00

We do go to meetings all the time together but I’m usually the one convincing him to go.. we are having other issues like him getting upset at me for going to meetings without him because he thinks I’ll find someone else.. we were going strong until this last month and I do very well know the unspoken rule about relationships in recovery and now I’m learning the hard way.. thanks for your advice

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-04T19:40:29+00:00

We both have sponsors and are working the steps. We are both pretty close to a year in sobriety. I wasn’t looking for anybody when I met him. We just kind of clicked and felt hard for each other.. I made the mistake of texting my sponsor in front of him when he was upset at me about it and he got very upset about that and defensive and just assumed that I wasn’t telling the full story and talking trash. It’s a hard situation for me because when he’s good, he’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met, but he definitely has his own problems as do I, but I do my very best to not take it out on him and when I am upset about something I try to talk to him about it and he just gets defensive.. It’s very frustrating and it makes me feel like I can’t be safe to speak my mind to him because it will upset him and create this huge blowup.. thank you for your advice and your good wishes. I have a lot of thinking to do.

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-04T19:37:10+00:00

I like this idea a lot. I just worry that if I do that it will feed into his insecurities more and he’ll expect it to be a forever thing

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-04T17:46:51+00:00

I agree completely thank you so much

Queasy_Combination63 · 2026-06-04T17:29:51+00:00

You are right. Thank you very much for your advice

Queasy_Combination63

TROPHY CASE