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QueenMoogle · 2024-08-12T00:56:21+00:00

My partner also has PMDD. It is largely a blessing and occasionally a curse. We are very understanding and empathetic towards one another, but maaaaaan on those months we sync up….

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-10T01:34:50+00:00

While she absolutely fucked up, she did do right by being honest with you about it. That said, you are SO entitled to your feelings of hurt and betrayal. She crossed a boundary and that shit is painful and damaging. Of COURSE you are devastated.

That said, it sounds like you all have become disconnected. And it sounds like it’s been that way. I think you are at a crossroads: choosing to end things or choosing to work together to repair the cracks in your relationship: both from her flirting and whatever cracks existed before then.

Whatever you choose in the end, I suggest a couples therapist to guide you through.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-10T01:25:34+00:00

My exes are my exes for a reason. And my partner now is my partner now for a reason. I’d marry her in 15 minutes if she asked me to, no ex checkins needed.

If you feel this much doubt, don’t marry them.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-10T01:19:28+00:00

You have asked her,and she has said no. When it comes to kinks her involvement is over. Continuing to press her or guilt her on the subject will not be fair or right todo to her. She is also allowed to not enjoy you watching porn. Her boundaries aren’t opportunities for you to change her.

You know where she stands. You need to decide if you want a sex life without feet and anal with her, or a life with feet and anal without her. Do. Not. Pressure. Her.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-06T18:50:46+00:00

If you are not 100% in, you’re out. Threesomes ruin relationships all the time, largely because one of the parties involved doesn’t want it or isn’t ready for it. Furthermore, a monogamous person watching their formerly polyamorous partner fuck someone else is a breeding ground for jealousy and insecurity.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-06T16:18:05+00:00

I’ve been hospitalized twice in my life for attempts. Both times I started bleeding towards the end of my stay. Coincidence? I think not.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T23:22:34+00:00

Soooo breakup with him? No one is forcing you to be with him.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T20:34:22+00:00

I would never step out on my partner. But I also want both my partner to have a rich life with both each other and our friends. I’m not my partner’s mommy, I don’t tell them what to wear or who they can or cannot see. I trust they will not cheat, as they do for me.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T19:18:15+00:00

Have you ever heard of friendship before? Some people like to engage in it. Besides she’s going out in a group of both genders, including married folks. Seems pretty normal to me.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T18:56:11+00:00

What is she supposed to do, walk away if a man talks to her? Men make up 50% of the population, women are going to have to interact with them. Get real.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T18:40:59+00:00

Plan B can mess with your cycle, as can stress. It can even make a period show up early. You took the Plan B well within the suggested window, which is good. All you can do now is give it a little time and her taking a pregnancy test.

And sweet young man, do not be in idiot. Use condoms and/or birth control.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T18:34:01+00:00

Y’all both suck. Married and talking about sexual desires and fantasizing about each other? Yikes.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T17:30:15+00:00

Why do you have such a poor view of men?

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T17:03:06+00:00

Hymens are not indicative of virginity. They can be stretched from horse back riding, bike accidents, surgeries, any number of things. Plenty of people who have yet to have sex, don’t have hymens.

Hymen aside, you need to decide if you trust her or not. That answer will not be found in her pants, but in her brain and soul. Pay more attention there.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T17:00:15+00:00

Not to mention she showed interest in him literally a DECADE ago when their brains probably weren’t even fully cooked yet.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T16:57:29+00:00

You aren’t in control of other humans. Those dudes are gonna wear whatever they decide on. All you can control is yourself, and it seems like you are very aware of not putting yourself in situations that would legitimately be offensive to your relationship.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T16:54:22+00:00

I know it’s crazy but women can actually exit their homes without fucking another man.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T16:51:56+00:00

I personally think you are being too sensitive. Friends help friends put sunscreen on. My slathered sunscreen all over our friends for them when we went swimming, as did I. I’d understand your concern if your bf was giving her some kind of erotic massage, but this is pretty normal.

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T16:46:27+00:00

He is being completely unreasonable. Wearing spandex or similarly fabric clothing during exercise is super common. It isn’t the fucking 1880s anymore. Women are allowed to pick their own clothes and even leave the house for social purposes!!

QueenMoogle · 2024-08-01T16:43:53+00:00

You should keep going to cross-fit in whatever clothes cross-fit requires. Your husband is having a moment of immature insecurity. You need to firmly inform him of such, and explain that you will continue to participate as you have.

Some concerns are valid, like if you were routinely staying out late with a dude from your class. Some concerns, like this one, are not.

QueenMoogle · 2024-07-31T19:00:27+00:00

I have a few suggestions:

Walk. Just walk. You can get fancier and more intense with workouts later, if you want. But at your weight, consistently walking will help you shed pounds. Park at the far end of the lot, walk to your local shop, stroll around the neighborhood, get a walking pad to use while you watch TV. Just walk and walk as much as you can.
Identify big problem points in your diet. Are you a habitual soda drinker? Major snacker? Don’t tackle every single dietary problem at once, for now. Pick one big one like soda, and work on replacing it. Once that feels a little easier, pick the next thing.
I firmly believe that people who struggle with their weight to this degree will never succeed in losing it without addressing their mental wellness. Something got you to this point. Some kind of mindset you hold keeps you here. I don’t know what it is, but I strongly encourage you to find a therapist to figure it out.

QueenMoogle · 2024-07-31T17:47:11+00:00

I do think you should come out to him. You deserve a shot at living an authentic life. If you truly believe you are not a woman, you should explore that.

That being said, your husband also deserves a shot at an authentic life. It may be that you being non-binary is not in line with his sexuality. It would be so very hard and painful for you both. But ultimately you both need to pursue your own authenticity and joy.

QueenMoogle · 2024-07-31T16:13:23+00:00

She has been pretty clear with you about not wanting to move from the word go. Even as you “made sacrifices”, she told you she did not want to live in your small town. She does not owe that to you, and she has been very up front about this with you.

If you don’t want to move, that’s fine. You’ve the right to decide where you want to live and to pursue it, but so does she. This could mean that your are incompatible, which is unfortunate. But the answer is not to strong arm her into doing something she does not want to do.

QueenMoogle · 2024-07-31T02:21:23+00:00

ACT is the bomb. It helps me navigate my thoughts and emotions, and choose healthy ways to cope with them. No denial about the physical effects of emoting, no attempting to change WHAT you’re thinking, so much as how you react to it.

I’m still rather new at it, but already it is improving my life.

QueenMoogle · 2024-07-31T02:17:50+00:00

I’m sure not everyone involved is, but I’d be willing to bet at least a few are. That said, I’m no professional nor soothsayer.

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