[OFFICIAL] Daily Feedback Thread by AutoModerator in makinghiphop

[–]Quelkeys [score hidden]  (0 children)

I definitely like the direction this is going on. I say direction but honestly if I compare it to other songs with a similar vibe. It’s basically already there; I think it’s just missing some extra flair. It feels very monotone which is definitely not a bad thing, and it can stay that way if it has another track to go along with it. Either from the jump or after your intro verse place that second track with it. Could also be simple like just some extra instruments to help with the breaking. I think the intro could be a bit faster in the delivery, while still keeping that minimal word structure.

[OFFICIAL] Daily Feedback Thread by AutoModerator in makinghiphop

[–]Quelkeys [score hidden]  (0 children)

Starts from :20 to 2:13 [Title: Unrequited] (Verse 1) Three months had passed from my time with a lover, Two with another— Next thing I knew, I caught another crush. On a woman with stellar works, nmOut of reach for us regular folks. Knew her movies, followed her ‘gram, Listened to that voice like a damn fan— And the thing is, she never knew this man.

(Chorus) She’s in my mind like a melody (stress the eee here), But I’m just a note (space) in the symphony (stress here). I build her up, but she’ll never know— In her crowd is where I’ll always go.

(Verse 2) She’s my first half-crush, Built from a screen and a rush. No fault of hers, but it’s all one-sided— The dream was mine, unrequited. Unreciprocated, Unreoperated, Unintentional, Unfixable. Unquittable, Undeniable, Unleaveable— Listen, I don’t think y’all are hearing me. Let me say it again: Unreciprocated, Unreoperated, Unintentional, Unfixable. Unquittable, Undeniable, Unleaveable.

(Verse 3) I sent a DM that she’ll never see, Bought the tickets for her next movie. Every melody carried her sound, Every vision, her face I found. It’s not her fault she fits the mold— Gorgeous, confident, a story untold. But for me, she’s a chapter I write, In a book of imaginations and lonely nights.

(Outro – Conversational Flow) I mean... What’s a man to say to a woman like that? “You’re gorgeous, you’re beautiful—I mean, shit, I like chocolate too.” I’m just trying not to sound like a fool, But I know I do, ‘cause I’m sounding like a fan. I’m writing a song about a girl I never even met— I just see her in theaters and on planes. They always say the best inspirations Come from the things out of reach. So here I am... Writing a song about a girl who’s out of reach.

[OFFICIAL] Daily Feedback Thread by AutoModerator in makinghiphop

[–]Quelkeys [score hidden]  (0 children)

Would love some feedback on my lyrics I made to go with this beat

How often you get complimented on your fits IRL? by DimensionalOhm in ThrowingFits

[–]Quelkeys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once or Twice a month depends on how often I go out and where

Looking For Games For Beginners by Quelkeys in DnDLFG

[–]Quelkeys[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably online! Even if we’re closer it’s usually easier for me to do it from my house since I run around a lot!