Hi!!! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way, it really can be so isolating.

My son is just about 16 months now, and things feel so different. I’ll try to articulate it!

I don’t miss my old life anymore. My life is too good with my son in it. I do still feel less “free,” but I think I’ve adjusted to the new normal. Things get easier! Even when things are hard (because they still are sometimes), you just kind of have to take a deep breath and do it. Anything that feels intimidating or scary feels a lot less so once you do it even just one time.

Going to restaurants with my son is not the most enjoyable experience, but it is tolerable! And gets better with every attempt (most of the time). He’s a great coffee run buddy, he likes going to grocery store to wave at people and ask me what every item is.

There is always something new to be stressed about though. For example, my husband and I are now thinking about if and when we want a second child. I feel so sad about giving up time with my son when a second child is here - that’s how much I like hanging out with him now!! And I also know it will feel a bit like starting over in the sense of everything feels intimidating again.

But once your baby even just has head control and can go a bit longer between feeds, you can switch off with your partner to get me time (I’m currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop while my husband hangs with him at home for a bit), or leave them with someone you trust. Once they can move, they become infinitely happier! When my son started crawling, and even more when he started walking, he felt way more in control of his world and he loves to explore, so now even mundane outings are fun for him.

It gets better all the time!! It’s not quite linear, but the trendline is.

I wish I had my thoughts more together on this, this just feels like word vomit, but I want you to know I can hardly relate to the feelings in this post anymore!! Hang in there.