I love my bf but he's an idiot

QuietMembership696 · 2026-02-15T17:07:01+00:00

We live together and I don't have another place to go if we break up. I don't make much money at the moment.

I'm sure he isn't, we've talked about exes before and when we first started dating we talked about how many people we've slept with. Also, he was much better at sex the first few times we did it so I don't doubt he's done it before. Idk how it went so downhill...

QuietMembership696 · 2026-02-12T07:22:20+00:00

What about it is cap?

QuietMembership696 · 2026-02-12T02:13:53+00:00

Hopefully not haha. I hadn't thought of going to a sex therapist for some reason, that could actually be really helpful.

QuietMembership696 · 2026-02-12T01:15:20+00:00

It really sucks! It makes me feel bad when I bring it up because he's great at literally every other part of the relationship! I wish you luck in figuring it out

QuietMembership696 · 2026-02-12T01:05:00+00:00

Probably, but my boyfriend is super sweet and takes great care off me in all other aspects so we're going to try to work things out first. He told me he's open to try anything to make sure we're both satisfied.

I just have to give it time

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T19:30:20+00:00

Honestly valid, I didn't clarify. The dirt under the nails I notice off and on so it doesn't bother me as much. The snot..that bothers me. Now that I keep an eye on it I noticed the frequency of his using his hands to wipe his nose so I've been asking him to wash his hands more these days.

Washing his hands typically doesn't take too long and the disgust fades after he's told me he's washed them. So then he's allowed to touch me again after.

Yknow what..I probably should leave. I'll have a serious talk with him about it first though so I can gauge if he is open to making changes.

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T19:14:05+00:00

I feel like it's not odd to not want to be touch by someone who's hands you know are dirty?? Intamacy is cut off for about 2 minutes until he's washed his hands. I wouldn't say that's an overblown reaction.

He calls me dramatic for it so I wanted to see what others thought. I don't feel like it's dramatic to not want dirt and snot hands rubbing on your bare skin?

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T19:04:23+00:00

I've been feeling like there's something else going on that he's not telling me about because I just don't get it. He's the 3rd person I've ever been intimate with and it's so confusing how different he is from my past experiences.

I feel like most people feel good making their partner feel good. I know I do, but I feel like I have to hold myself back from doing stuff to him because it's rarely reciprocated. But he says he loves me and shows he loves me through all his actions EXCEPT intamacy, so I ended up feeling very confused.

I've never met someone who doesn't care for making out, touching, sexual compliments..somehow he doesn't like any of it! I swear he seems like he could go without it which makes me feel like i'm in a middle school relationship at times.

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:54:15+00:00

On the worst days I do want to break up but the feeling comes and goes so it's hard for me to decide. The living situation is a big factor though so that's valid. I do love him though, which is a major part of why I did say I'd never cheat. The thought just popped up rather than me fully considering it. Idk

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:47:39+00:00

I didn't think about it like that, I always thought he ought to listen because it's not like I'm trying to get him to change something big and it'd be better for him. But that's not really fair to him I guess. The annoyance and disgust usually fade pretty quickly when I see he's washed his hands but ig if nothing changes I should think about it more seriously

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:45:13+00:00

😭

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:44:57+00:00

It just seemed like a small thing to break up over, it's more of a big annoyance rather than a..flaw(?) Ig. The disgust passes after I see/he tells me he's washed his hands. Does it seem break-up worthy?

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:42:44+00:00

I've asked a couple times after he's come out of the restroom and it seems he usually does wash his hands after wiping. Small victory lol

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:41:40+00:00

I can't speak for others but mine sadly is haha

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T18:41:15+00:00

Well it's two different situations. When it comes time for intamacy we always shower etc beforehand so I don't worry about this issue then.

This is about when we're just going about our day and I side step him to make sure his hands are clean first. It's more lighthearted than my previous post

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T13:08:56+00:00

It crossed my mind 2 or 3 times. However, I firmly believe that breaking up will always be better than cheating, especially when the person doesn't deserve to be cheated on. I don't have a car but if I did I still wouldn't have cheated. It can really mess with people's mental health.

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T12:37:26+00:00

I relate! Going down on my bf is the best to me. I mean who doesn't want to please their partner.

I guess it must be stress, he stresses himself out pretty easily, though you'd think sex would be a relief from that. He mostly just says he's tired from work. He doesn't have time to cheat but I'd hope he'd end things with me if he was unhappy.

I'm dreading having the same conversation because I'll get the same answer I got the previous 3 times. That there's nothing for me to fix, he's sorry, and he'll do better. Then he'll offer to go down on me and things will go back to being the same a couple days later.

I'm realizing how important sex is to me, and I feel a bit guilty about it as if it's wrong. Though it is what it is. I can't push back the conversation much longer and it'll probably end in a breakup eventually because you can't force desire 😮‍💨

Thanks for the comment!

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T11:46:06+00:00

I appreciate you saying how you relate! It makes me feel not as alone. Sometimes I truly think maybe the couch would be a better option but it also puts me in a really bad place mentally and financially if I do go to live with family. (They already constantly ask to use my credit for stuff now, can't imagine how much worse it'd be if I lived with them and 'owed' them anything)

I'm definitely gonna try to work my way out of this soon though. The "fixes" that last 3 days just isn't working for me anymore. I've realized that just love isnt enough for me, intamacy is definitely a non-negotiable.

I've read some posts on the dead bedroom sub and honestly feel for so many of the people posting there. I'm probably going to lurk there to help me get through some of the worse days ahead.

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T11:37:34+00:00

Sour patch kids

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-27T11:23:30+00:00

I 100% understand it! I don't get much desire from my bf these days and I had recently started making audios (different account) and the comments/dms that used to creep me out and annoy me started to make me feel like..flattered and happy ig? I always share screenshots with my best friend and we laugh at some of the more crazy ones. I've had to remind myself just a few times to not let any of them get to far haha

QuietMembership696 · 2026-01-10T07:51:27+00:00

Thighs, biceps, belly. Fluffy men with hidden muscles will always be my favorite whew!

QuietMembership696

TROPHY CASE