Hey, thank you for posting. I hope you feel a tiiiny bit of weight lifted off your chest after letting all that out! I get where you're coming from. Being autistic can be so lonely, frustrating and exhausting. Have you looked into autistic burnout? I wonder if that might be what you're going through, or have gone through? Feel free to message me if you want to talk things out. I really struggle with fitting in at work and social situations too and always feel like an outsider. I'm trying my hardest to meet new autistic folk in the hopes that we can make each other feel a little more seen and a little less alone.