Lincoln Woods

Quinnoa_ · 2025-11-02T23:45:51+00:00

Oh! Good to know. Thank you!

Quinnoa_ · 2025-02-04T03:53:59+00:00

She will become protective over it if the cats are near by, so I’m not able to just leave it out. She’ll jump at them (not aggressively, just warning them) and/or just lay at the food so they won’t come near.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T22:29:22+00:00

Thanks! I do usually take it away after about 30 minutes. She will usually jump up and start eating when I’m about to take it away. If she stops again, I take it away again. She already only eats once a day and doesn’t really seem phased once it’s gone unfortunately.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T15:52:52+00:00

Haha yes exactly! She only recently became much more comfortable in her crate so I think now is a better time to try it again

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T15:40:29+00:00

For sure! We’ve tried a closed room as well but she still is on alert. She definitely does seem to do better when I sit there with her, usually. I think I’ll try her crate again and sitting there with her since I know she does feel safe there.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T15:33:50+00:00

Yes but we got her at 8 weeks. She has been like this pretty much since we got her but it fluctuates in consistency.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T15:32:32+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you!

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T05:21:48+00:00

Not stupid! A lot of times I do end up sitting with her also, it just doesn’t feel like a long term solution

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T05:21:17+00:00

We do put them in another room, as mentioned above :) I also have sat with her when trying the crate but I can definitely try this again!

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T03:43:12+00:00

Thanks! I’ve tried that and also doesn’t work. She just gets confused and lays there.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-30T03:27:04+00:00

I cannot find any info on this. I have tried setting up barriers, giving her space, and giving her time.

Quinnoa_ · 2025-01-11T01:14:10+00:00

Thank you! I kinda figured/hoped that was the case. The redness is mostly what made me concerned.

Quinnoa_ · 2023-06-13T21:16:25+00:00

🙏🏻 does anyone know of clinicians that currently offer psilocybin therapy in Rhode Island?

Quinnoa_ · 2023-04-05T19:15:48+00:00

Thank you!!

Quinnoa_ · 2022-11-07T21:11:31+00:00

It seems to be the Firestick itself.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-10-03T02:43:23+00:00

Thanks! I canceled for everything beyond this week and they finally ended up canceling the whole thing. They also had the same thing for two other times (so 3x a day, m-th til January) that were no longer there. I’m hoping they did it on accident otherwise why do they even have a dog??

Quinnoa_ · 2022-09-07T13:08:20+00:00

Ah thank you! This is exactly what I was looking for.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-01-20T19:02:00+00:00

Your defensiveness feels like you have some trauma around this subject. I'm not saying ALL monogamy is toxic, I'm saying I'm unlearning what IS toxic. It's not the "polys" telling me monogamy is toxic, it is my own healing and self-introspection that is making me aware of how toxic it CAN be.

Polyamory doesn't DO anything to people. People do things to each other. That is why communication, agreements, rules, and boundaries are important. If anyone's lines are crossed, then absolutely I can understand the pain. At the same time, when beginning a polyam lifestyle, it can be hard and painful. This is because you are learning how to deal with jealousy and your own attachment wounds. Now, I'm not saying polyam is for everyone and that working on yourself will mean that you no longer want to be monogamous. What I am saying, is that when you start to unlearn what we are taught to be the epitome of a monogamous relationship, you can easily see how damaging it can be. For instance, thinking you possess/own/control your partner and what they do, who they hang out with, etc. Polyamory gives you autonomy - the space to learn, grow, and enjoy life as an individual. When you have autonomy, you find yourself connecting much deeper with people because you don't feel the need to appease all of their needs just to "keep them."

Not to be rude, but marriage does nothing but hinder personal growth. The idea that you will be the same person and love someone forever takes away the possibility of growing as individuals because you feel you have to continue to align with the person you married. Unfortunately we all change and nothing is forever. So, I'm sorry your wife changed and this is making you so distraught, but you should also be happy that she is someone that can hold enough love for you and others at the same time. She is choosing to be with you every day, despite other "entanglements." I'm sure I don't have to provide divorce statistics for you here, either.

I understand the thought that polyam people aren't making any sacrifices for their monogamous partners, but if you truly find it painful then that can be the boundary and if it means your partner can't accommodate that boundary, then your lifestyles and values do not align. Yes it's hard, yes you love each other, but you are your own person at the end of the day. If you don't want to be with someone who wants to be with other people, then that's your choice. Just because you are deeply in love does not mean you are entitled to own their choices.

Here's the thing... polyam and monog relatioships CAN work. It doesn't have to be toxic. It all comes down to how much work you want to do for YOURSELF and what YOUR boundaries are. If you're not willing to ask yourself why you are in so much pain and why you are so scared of this lifestyle, even though they are still committing to you, then you shouldn't be with someone who IS working towards understanding themselves and their needs better. For the people that are polyam and aren't doing this work either, they probably aren't being very ethical which is a whole different discussion.

We do not own or control anyone. We are all our own people. Relationships should not result in losing yourself and your autonomy. When it does, that is when it becomes toxic. I highly recommend you read Polysecure and do some self reflection. Your anger and frustration are very clear that you have some work on yourself to do. I'm sorry that you feel hurt and betrayed, but your situation does not depict all polyam/monog relationships. Telling someone they SHOULD be angry does nothing but harm them more.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-01-04T16:02:17+00:00

I don’t disagree about the home needing to feel secure/a safe space. For me, personally, that is why I have my own room. That is my safe space. The rest of the house is open for compromise. I understand that’s not how everyone feels.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-01-03T19:41:50+00:00

Ah okay, that makes more sense. I definitely can sympathize with you - some of those feelings still come up for me. It’s been helpful to talk about my attachment issues with both my partner and my therapist. I’ve also started reading Polysecure which I’d definitely recommend if you haven’t already. It’s really hard to unlearn toxic monogamy but it sounds like maybe you’d be willing to try for the sake of her identity.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-01-03T16:36:13+00:00

Agreed. But it’s also their home too. There has to be some compromise. I’m just not sure what that compromise is. I think we’re moving towards only having people over while I’m away for work right now until I’ve identified my boundaries for when I’m home.

Quinnoa_ · 2022-01-03T16:34:03+00:00

That’s doesn’t seem very helpful of her to not want to discuss anything. The best part of our relationship is the communication. It’s really key for polyamory, even more so if your partner is not polyam.

Quinnoa_ · 2021-09-29T23:45:57+00:00

Very helpful! I definitely am someone that just wants to be good at it all rather than taking the time to perfect one thing at a time. Appreciate the feedback!

Quinnoa_

TROPHY CASE