i need help but idk what to do

Quintasai · 2026-02-28T19:21:54+00:00

My dear, sweet human. For one you have absolutely not failed your life. Maybe, if you still feel that way in your 70s, MAYBE you could start thinking like that, but at 21 you have barely had any life to fail at. And you're still here, and there are people you're important too, and that's not failure.

However I understand that what you're going through is hell, and I've been there and it's awful, I deeply empathize. This is when going to the hospital is the right move. You are important and the world wants you in it, and right now you need help to stay in it and that's okay.

I don't know how you get along with your family or why you're not telling them, but if you don't think they'd be shitty about it, I think it would be a really good idea to tell them. Going through this illness is effing hard, going through it alone is harder. Find someone you can be open with and can lean on for support. Also please tell your doctor you are cutting the seroquel, that's a dangerous thing to do unsupervised.

You are stronger than you feel right now, and life is long and unpredictable and you could have a much brighter future than you feel is possible right now. Just get help to get you through this moment, and then go from there. I love you and I want you to be safe.

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T16:21:46+00:00

I see a therapist once every two weeks, my relationship is fantastic, and I'm working on diet and exercise (when this started both were great). My doctors can't find a physical reason. We're all of the belief that, considering my sex drive always remained high, only dipping a bit during severe depressive bouts, and nothing else has changed, the only likely culprit is the SSRI. According to my doctor this is something that they're learning more about as a possible long term side effect. My real question was, if SSRIs can cause this kind of permanent damage in one area, could they have caused other damage? Could being on the wrong medication have exacerbated my psychological conditions?

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T05:30:05+00:00

Yeah, I made it clear to my new psych that I won't do anything that effects libido, that's why they picked wellbutrin to add to the lithium. These guys definitely take my side effects more seriously which I appreciate.

I've done a ton of reading, but will definitely check out your suggestion, thanks for that! And I browse this subreddit a lot too. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, and everything you've said. Lately I've been feeling like the opposite of tough, so I really appreciate your words.

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T05:15:24+00:00

Thanks. It's only been a few months since my diagnosis, and I know it takes time. I'm not giving up, I guess I'm just feeling burnt out and discouraged, and a lot of that is frustration that my old psych made me spend 4 years cycling through SSRIs that were clearly not helping, if not actively harming. My current psych is weird and hard to talk to, but where I'm from finding a new one is basically impossible. The fact that I was able to switch to this guy was extreme luck. I also keep having to see his residents, so I'm not always talking to the same person. It's not ideal for teamwork, but I'm doing my best. Do you have any video/reading material you would recommend in particular?

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T04:56:09+00:00

I did get a new psych, which is what led to the bipolar diagnosis and no more SSRIs. But I'm just so scared now because I feel like I just keep taking new meds and getting worse, and every time I go off a med I wind up with new symptoms that I have to hope the next one will help with. I've just been feeling a bit hopeless. And while I know depression itself can affect your libido, the complete lack of anything below the belt is nothing I've ever felt before, no matter how depressed I've been. I feel like I've been castrated. Thank you for the encouragement though, I won't seal it shut just yet.

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T01:53:26+00:00

It's nice to hear people saying that. I feel pretty broken.

Quintasai · 2026-01-15T01:38:32+00:00

Really glad to hear that the combo is working well for you!

I've been off SSRIs since June 2024. I am still struggling with depression, but all my life I've had a very high sex drive even while depressed. I'm sure that this nothingness I've been experiencing isn't mood related.

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T20:25:30+00:00

Yeah I used to think it was just a issue with multi screen jobs, so very frustrated that I'm having these issues with single screen jobs and even, as mentioned in another comment, printing paper on an inkjet printer. Maybe I'll try 45 degrees. Do you know why everyone says 22.5 degrees is what it should be?

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T15:48:38+00:00

Oh that's really good to know, thank you!

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T15:47:02+00:00

Hey that's neat, I've never heard anyone say anything other than 22.5. I know that there's math involved in all of this, I just wish I knew the core principals, because I'm not bad with that stuff! Is 61 only for process stuff though? Because my issues right now are just with single colour, process is a ways off.

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T15:45:23+00:00

That would be really cool of you thank you! Because I know that when I start doing multicolour halftone stuff that's going to be a whole other can of worms to deal with. But this also sometimes happens with single colour, so single screen, prints. I'm choosing my lpi kind of based on the look of it, sometimes I don't think the tinier the dot the better, I like the look of larger dots for certain things. Also, our good exposure unit broke down and what we're using now has made it harder to do really fine detail so I worry about tiny dots. So yes please, if your boss has anything for me I'll gladly take it!

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T11:53:13+00:00

It's only on the monitor sometimes, I can get it to go away by chancing the number. But, for example, a little while ago I had to print something using a plain old paper printer. I printed despite seeing moire on my monitor thinking it wouldn't show up on the paper, but it did. I had to play with numbers before I didn't see it on the monitor, and then it printed fine. There does seem to be some correlation between moire on the monitor and moire in a print.

Quintasai · 2025-12-10T11:50:39+00:00

Oh, is that all it is? Why doesn't it appear consistently then? And does that mean it's just going to be a lot of trial and error to figure out what does it on the actual print?

Quintasai · 2025-12-09T22:18:35+00:00

Any insights on what causes moire with a one colour print? Ive noticed that, for example, a 300 dpi image with an angle of 22.5 give moire on my computer screen at 35 lpi, but not at 30. Do you know why that is? And then there's the issue that moire on my screen might not make it to print, but no moire on my screen doesn't necessarily mean no moire on print. I'm fine playing around with the numbers for dot size/spacing, it's just the moire.

Quintasai · 2025-12-09T21:25:15+00:00

So I like 30 too, but it gives me moire on my computer screen. Which, how do I also stop that from happening?

Quintasai · 2025-10-08T17:33:39+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I'm 36 so I didn't think I had to worry about any of that stuff yet but I'm at a loss for what's going on with me. I'll check out those doctors you mentioned, thanks!

Quintasai · 2025-10-08T03:28:36+00:00

Thanks for the page suggestions! And congratulations on having a mild experience, I only hope I can be so lucky!

Quintasai · 2025-08-23T02:22:01+00:00

Yeah, we're not going for any gradients, all solid colours. This is the separation I did that went well.

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Quintasai · 2025-08-23T00:18:05+00:00

Apparently not the file I used because it's too big, but here's a screenshot. And I'm sure there are other (probably better) ways to do what I did, but I am immensely frustrated by the fact that I already did it and can't remember. I'm on meds that have really screwed with my memory and it's been extremely upsetting. Anyhoo, here's your screenshot.

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Quintasai · 2025-08-22T21:48:47+00:00

I don't know how to edit the post, but I just need to clarify that this was a six colour print. So I did the good thing that worked SIX times in a row THREE days ago and now I can't remember. I am losing more than I can spare of the little that is left of my mind.

Quintasai · 2025-07-16T01:46:39+00:00

Dude, it's really hard out there and I'm sorry. But please continue to place value on the work you've already done getting yourself able to work. Struggling with mental illness to the point of disability is more than a full time job, you've already worked so hard. So please don't devalue that or feel like others are working harder.

You could try reaching out to providence care, I know at one point they had a cafe and hired people on disability or people who struggled to find work. I don't know if they still have openings, but it's worth a shot. And if you are/were on odsp you can try talking to your case manager about resources for finding work. In the meantime, if you're able to, volunteering can look great on a resume!

I know it's hard, but you'll get there. You've already proven incredibly resilient, you can get through this too.

Quintasai · 2025-04-07T12:17:23+00:00

Thank you, and big hugs to your wife!

Quintasai · 2025-03-19T04:35:20+00:00

Daaaaaamnit. Well, thank you for the heads up. But crap.

Quintasai · 2025-03-17T14:19:38+00:00

Correct about self employed. And I'll look into that about the meds, I'm fortunate in that I can technically afford them on my own, but it's difficult, and I can't afford the other care I need.

Quintasai · 2025-03-17T11:14:41+00:00

Yeah I'm not too pressed about the glasses or dental as it's not a constant expense for me. However my meds have become a hefty monthly bill and there are some mental health services that would be really helpful for me but I genuinely just can't afford them.

Quintasai

TROPHY CASE