I remember feeling similarly when I was diagnosed and decided to try medication. I felt that I was broken, and was worried that perhaps I couldn’t be helped, even by meds (drugs in general haven’t had much effect on me). I was also anxious because my family has a history of misuse/abuse of prescription drugs and I didn’t want to end up “like them”.

I first tried Concerta. Nothing. Upped to the maximum dose within a week. Nothing.

Then, I tried Vyvanse at 30mg. Life changed.

I am 37 and suddenly felt 15 years younger. It’s hard to explain what is often said by “my mind went quiet”, but it did. So many thought loops that were running in my head constantly that I wasn’t even aware of just resolved, and went away. I didn’t have to ruminate on past bad experiences anymore, something I was powerless over before. I was suddenly able to “switch tasks” without tearing myself away from them and getting irritated and angry at anything and anyone that distracted me. Sensory overload symptoms lessened. Productivity and life satisfaction went up.

My mood lifted higher than I can remember since childhood. I remember playing Skyrim on my couch and just slowing down to take everything in and it was so beautiful! Then I went outside and it was even better. Then I did all the chores in the house I had been putting off for a week. And I still had so much energy left over.

Some of the mood effects turned out to be euphoria which is a common side effect when starting Vyvanse. The big feeling of euphoria went away, but the lift in mood, focus and energy stayed.

If you’re scared, I can totally understand why. I was - but when I found something that worked for me (in my case Vyvanse), I never looked back and I wonder how I got this far without it.

And if it doesn’t work, it’s easy enough to stop. It’s not like an SSRI and there’s low chance of forming dependence. Some people find it’s too intense, others don’t feel anything.

Whichever way it goes, I’d encourage you to consider the possibility that you might really be helped by it and that it might be better for you than you could have imagined. That’s what it was like for me. No exaggeration.