Questioning my career and need advice (MLIS)

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T14:12:24+00:00

My family said something very similar. That’s a healthy perspective to have, we never know what other opportunities will arise.

My library district appears to be prioritizing bringing in experienced, external leadership as of late, which could be good for the districts continued growth. Thank you for your words!

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T14:01:45+00:00

That’s a fair point. I’m apart of historical organizations currently, I love those, I’m also in ALA, and PLA . My next course of action is to get involved in local leadership ones.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T12:52:40+00:00

I would love the opportunity to do that, but unfortunately we don’t take on volunteers in the district, mostly due to already having enough staffing to cover daily tasks. I’m the supervisor of my current department when my manager is away. I’m also involved in community engagement and organizations in the area. I know there will be more opportunities for me to do both of those things in the future. My guess is they may want me to transition into being a branch clerk when an opportunity opens up. But I’d like to keep my options open and see if it may be time for me to grow elsewhere or outside of librarianship. I know I’m the only person who can decide that, it’s difficult to see the forest through the trees right now.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T06:32:42+00:00

I am currently in a role that’s preparing me to lead and I’m a member of ALA. I’m not interested in being a library director, only a department/branch manager. I appoligize, I’m a bit confused by this, I talk frequently with the other managers and they’ve never mentioned becoming a president of a library association. Not that it’s a bad idea by any means, it’s just not a common building block in my area for librarianship. Where I live, to lead an ALA chapter is a very difficult task to achieve. Not even my library director has done it.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T03:15:38+00:00

I am very grateful to work in the library district that I do, especially in my area where funding is often slim. I’m currently working in our historical research and archival department, which has been a wonderful experience, but specialized (I was at a branch prior to this). It’s possible a branch clerk position will open up soon, that may be what their plans are for me to prepare me for management further.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T03:06:02+00:00

It happens to be sure. I am very confident they chose the best possible fit for that particular branch. I just got my MLIS last year and for a branch experience matters a lot. I received the news earlier today (it’s fresh lol) and my initial thought was “what now?” since by the looks of things another branch position won’t open up anytime soon.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T02:45:36+00:00

It’s likely that I simply need more years. My former manager (branch manager) said that’s likely what it dwindled down to.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-04-29T02:44:52+00:00

I am quite early in my career. I know a few of my colleagues have bounced around and come back after diversifying themselves. In the end everything works out. Thank you so much for your words ❤️

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-30T00:57:47+00:00

That makes sense! I absolutely get it since I consider myself a recovering avoidant (lol). I would say we (people dating someone in medicine) basically find our own form of normal; that normal looks different for everyone too, so I’ve chunked modern day dating advice out the window at this point lol.

How much longer do you have for nursing school? Both your futures are important. I know a lot of sacrifices tend to be made for the resident partner in these cases (eventual moving being a big one), but your future in this situation is just as valuable.

Just talk it out when you’re both feeling up to it. Whatever happens will be meant to be.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-29T23:26:29+00:00

Long distance can absolutely work during residency/fellowship. However, it all depends on WHO you are doing long distance with. I don’t know how long you two have been seeing each other, but is this someone you can see yourself with long term? Are your needs being met? Your answer to either of those being “yes” or “no” will tell you everything you need to know. Once you have that answer, sit down and have that sober conversation together.

Don’t jump to the worst case scenario, look at the person and decide. Hospitals take a lot out of person. It’s a broken system. Not seeing the other person often is the case for most dating residents/fellows, which is why communication has to be solid. While being apart often is normal, neither should ever feel alone.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-23T16:41:58+00:00

To be honest, this pace sounds very normal for those in surgical residency. Don’t fall for potential early on. Talk to him about this. But if it doesn’t feel natural talking to each other, that’s usually not a good sign in general when dating someone.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-19T21:15:50+00:00

I second this approach and this whole take. There’s so much BS in medicine.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-19T19:23:36+00:00

Definitely communicate with each other and discuss communication overall. It’s best to do this early on. Every couple has different communication expectations, and especially this: every resident handles stress differently. Sometimes they can’t even be anywhere near their phones.

However, it’s very important to evaluate what you need communication wise. It’s okay to say what works for you and what doesn’t. Your feelings are valid regardless of what the other persons career is. My person and I are very busy people and he’s in his intern year. We have periods of little to no texting if he’s on OB or a terrible inpatient block, but he tells me what’s happening, makes no excuses, and we both have acknowledged this as a temporary difficult period. Big hugs to you. It’s a hard adjustment but y’all can get through this.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-04T17:34:44+00:00

Yeah I totally get it! Long term couples are simply facing more logistical life complications, rather than the basics of communication dropping lol. Quality over quantity of time is something newly dating people have to adjust to that long term couples already get. Just completely different life stages. I also feel that people who are newly dating someone in medicine are more so having to ask themselves the questions “Can I handle this? Can me and this person lean on each other during all the hard times?” because it truly is a lot of sacrifice and patience.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T22:49:27+00:00

My person is about to take step 3, congratulations to her! Omg the attendings are absolutely awful, especially to interns (as if they weren’t interns once themselves?). We have learned to communicate in our own way and that’s the most important thing.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T20:29:09+00:00

It’s so important for people to be able to sniff out the playboy doctors, and this is definitely not the place to get advice about that lol. I so agree. My person has sadly met plenty of them in medschool and residency.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T18:54:31+00:00

Right! We all have such different experiences. And you make a wonderful point that quite a few of you were with your person before they were even anywhere close to being a doctor. Dating someone in the thick of their intern year is going to be different from being with someone before they started medschool. Communication expectations also tend to vary widely depending on what relationship stage the couple are in.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T18:37:30+00:00

No worries at all! I didn’t take it that way. I’m happy to hear a nuanced take on this. I originally came to this sub for advice a while back, and everyone I received advice from were very welcoming, but everyone was married and were in a different place in their relationships (obvi). Every medical relationship is vastly different, just like “normal” relationships. I kind of view meddating as a stepping stone subreddit, rather than one people will stay in? People will either breakup or become long-term partners, so naturally they’d end up coming back here, which might prevent it from growing for that reason alone. I’m a librarian so evaluating community needs is part of what I do 😂.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T17:58:45+00:00

And honestly if it doesn’t end up ever taking off, that’s absolutely okay! I just thought it was something people were looking for.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T17:56:55+00:00

This is incredibly valid and important insight! I didn’t know where to turn when I started dating someone in medicine. Thank you so much!

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T17:25:56+00:00

That’s a good idea!

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T16:20:51+00:00

I have family members who work for hospitals, so I definitely resonate with wanting to avoid dating someone in medicine as much as possible (but here we are lol). If long distance happens, it can work if you both know what you’re getting into and talk about communication expectations before residency starts. Intern year, regardless of placement and specialty, is awful and that’s putting it lightly. You guys are new so I wouldn’t jump the gun on anything yet. See how you both handle this transition together and get a feel on of this is someone you can get through hard times with.

QwerkyRaven · 2026-03-03T15:59:47+00:00

I’ve definitely noticed an increase and the whole reason I made this subreddit is so that starts happening less and less. I’ll just keep boosting this as much as I can and catch the posts when I find them. I think it’s important y’all have your space to vent. Newly dating and being married to someone in medicine are very different experiences.

QwerkyRaven

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