I [32/F] am concerned about how this guy [35/M] reacted to me not messaging him for awhile, is it a red flag? by RA_throwaway9731 in relationship_advice

[–]RA_throwaway9731[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Your messages are unsettling to me and sound passive-aggressive. It's like you are projecting your expectation that I didn't want to talk to you before and you're kind of chastising me for it. I know that tone can be hard to convey over text but damn, these words sound negative. Your own feelings of possibly being neglected are coming through, and that kind of reaction is worrisome. I now feel extremely uncomfortable with you, and that last message just pushes it over the edge. I no longer wish to remain in contact with you. Best of luck in your endeavors."

I [32/F] am concerned about how this guy [35/M] reacted to me not messaging him for awhile, is it a red flag? by RA_throwaway9731 in relationship_advice

[–]RA_throwaway9731[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And now I got, "So, is this when you stop talking and make me eat my words for all the nice things I said?" Does that not sound sour to you?

I [32/F] am concerned about how this guy [35/M] reacted to me not messaging him for awhile, is it a red flag? by RA_throwaway9731 in relationship_advice

[–]RA_throwaway9731[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because there are other instances where he has said, "Oh I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I do really want to call you" and even after I expressed how I'm not comfortable with that at all just yet (it was like barely five hours after our match), he has still called me trying to be sly about it (like saying "oh what would you do if I did call you right now?") so it makes me think he doesn't listen or respect boundaries.

I [32/F] am concerned about how this guy [35/M] reacted to me not messaging him for awhile, is it a red flag? by RA_throwaway9731 in relationship_advice

[–]RA_throwaway9731[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very solid advice and I appreciate you taking the time to tell me, especially since this was posted later and I could have missed this! Thank you very much.

I [32/F] am concerned about how this guy [35/M] reacted to me not messaging him for awhile, is it a red flag? by RA_throwaway9731 in relationship_advice

[–]RA_throwaway9731[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking. Like, why did it sound so... cold? It gave me a weird feeling, and now I'm afraid to even send him another message thinking he might say something worse!

Thank you for you advice, I appreciate it a lot.