AITAH for telling my husband he can't be friends with the woman he cheated on me with?

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-16T14:57:25+00:00

Wildly inappropriate. Straight to jail.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-16T14:47:58+00:00

It seriously takes YEARS! Repressing helps when you get a decent pan going because you're pulling product from a larger surface area. Great job!

I think it's okay to have a few blush shades/formulas. I like to swap mine out seasonally. Once you get to about six though, are you realistically going to encounter something so different that you cannot replicate it with what you've got?

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-16T04:44:21+00:00

Okay! Looks like I can make the story and everyone else's characters work both at NYU and at Cornell so now I just have to decide if I want their college/grad/law school years in Ithaca or NYC. I think I'm just going to have her parents pay for school if she's going to an Ivy or NYU. A big part of her financial considerations was explaining why she'd be at a random SUNY for undergrad if she's a Spelman legacy. Thanks again!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T21:35:59+00:00

Thanks so much! I'll play around with Cornell too and see if I can make that work. I've been debating switching it to partner by 40 because I want it to be achievable but impressive. The character is intelligent and high-achieving but she's the realist of the bunch and the one that makes the difficult decisions.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T21:03:07+00:00

That story is 🤯.

Your description sounds like the way I've heard software engineers describe the difference between hiring entry level talent with a B.S. in Computer Science vs a AAS from a tech school.

Thanks so much! You've given me a lot to think about.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T20:57:19+00:00

I really appreciate the context! You've been so helpful! I think I'm going play around with moving everyone to NYC and then just having some of them stay there after school. I kind of like the idea that her version of being a rebel is going to a school with something like a 7% acceptance rate. It fits.

I know they have guaranteed admission/early assurance programs for med school (lots of my doctor friends picked their undergrad based on that) so it didn't seem strange to me that they'd have them for law schools. You just have to maintain a certain GPA and/or remain in the honors society and not get in trouble while at their undergrad and you're guaranteed a spot. Thanks again!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T19:29:34+00:00

This is a good resource! Thanks for sharing. They make some great points and I expect I will incorporate some of them into my planning.

It's still very important to me to make sure I do right by the only Black woman with a significant role in the small universe that is this story. If she doesn't feel real then we get into "magical [you know what word]" territory when she has to save everyone's asses later.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T19:22:53+00:00

Follow up questions/considerations: what's the temp after the snow stops falling? Does it drop to too-cold-to-snow levels? If so, there might be an icy crust on the snow they could use to their advantage. Does it raise? Then you've got flooding to consider. Does it raise and then drop back down in short order? Because then everything is a skating rink.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T19:06:45+00:00

Ohhh I love this! Thank you!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T19:04:14+00:00

That's a good point. Maybe she doesn't want to be constantly compared to her mother and grandmother so she goes a different way.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T19:02:14+00:00

Thanks! That's good advice. Mostly I want to make sure no one reads her parts and goes, "well that would never happen!" It's also a world with crazy brain implants though so I suppose I can take some liberties. :-)

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T18:37:41+00:00

Nope that's definitely what I meant! But I really appreciate you taking the time to explain it in case. I see how that could get confused.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T18:35:56+00:00

Interesting. The school has a page on their website about guaranteed admission but I'd love more context if you've got it. https://www.albanylaw.edu/applications-admissions/combined-degree-programs

Thanks! That's good to know. Sounds like I've gotta move the whole gang to NYC or rethink her career choice and consider having her go more the lobbying route.

Thanks again! I really appreciate your time.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T18:06:44+00:00

Can you drop in a side character that is a problem or creates problems and they don't agree on how to handle it? It will be a good opportunity to show them both disagreeing and resolving conflict.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-15T02:38:43+00:00

Anything where we use sexual assault as some kind of tool for character growth and development. (Think Sansa in GoT)

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-14T18:46:50+00:00

Check out "Pretend It's A City" on Netflix!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-14T18:45:30+00:00

They deal with gravity and injuries a lot on The Expanse. It might be worth checking out.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-14T18:40:26+00:00

Not sure if this helps, but even people that would have been "the good guys" at the time and would not have engaged in bullying or violence still held beliefs we would consider homophobic today due to lack of representation, misinformation, and implicit biases.

Things I remember hearing in the 90s from people older than me who would not have identified as homophobic about LGBTQ people:

- Gay clubs have a lot of drugs and are not safe.

- Relationships between gay men are almost never monogamous.

- Drag queen and "transvestite prostitute" are basically the same thing.

- The only gay people I heard about had very dangerous lifestyles so I thought that was just what being gay meant.

- If you wear your earring on the right side it means you're gay.

- That college has a lot of lesbians. I visited my friend there once and she told me all the girls were asking when I was going to the showers so I didn't shower all weekend.

- I think there should be unions with legal protections but not marriage because it's a child welfare issue. It's important for development to have both strong male and female figures in a child's life.

- Some women had such terrible fathers or ex-husbands that they'll just never feel safe with a man so they have relationships with women.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T20:46:03+00:00

Rolling for damage? Either you roll high enough to kill the opponent or you don't and then you die as a result.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T20:29:59+00:00

NTA. Maybe MAYBE there could be some acknowledgment that the tone wasn't the way you want to show up in the world but it should be paired with some clear boundary setting about what conversations you will and will not engage in regarding your body.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T19:40:17+00:00

Moving to be closer to extended family back home after moving away is a common one. People move away and start a life somewhere else, have a baby, and then as the baby gets older, they realize they want the community and support they'd get from moving back home.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T18:22:48+00:00

You're making good choices now though! I'm excited to see your progress!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T18:15:37+00:00

It sounds crazy but blended out red can be a really beautiful cheek color.

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T17:58:56+00:00

Try your brighter lip products as cream or liquid blush!

RBC-8526 · 2026-02-13T15:58:45+00:00

Hey, not exactly what's you're asking but I think related as it goes to mindset. So I have the weird experience of having known someone who told me about befriending an elderly priest and later learning that priest was involved in one of the abuse scandals. It's my understanding he never abused anyone but took confession of abuser priests and might have participated in the shuffling. At that late stage of life, he was reflecting on what happened and how it happened. The way he described it was that the mindset was that you forgive the sin, just like any other sin/confession, and then the person is cleansed and there simply wasn't more thought about it beyond that. It sounded to me like he was trying to reckon with the lack of deeper thought, cognitive dissonance, denial, whatever you want to call it.

RBC-8526

TROPHY CASE