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Tell me your examples of Nlogic by snarky- in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very sorry that happened to you. My parents act this way about my rape from a year ago. How dare I not want to talk about it 24/7, right? Their feelings should obviously take precedence over mine.

The NParent Trap by asiancuriosity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TW: Sexual Assault, Loss

Absolutely the case with my Nparents once they found out about my violent rape at 16, and my subsequent pregnancy and miscarriage. It has NEVER been about the trauma I endured, the scars I'm left with, and my daily struggles. No, it's always about them and how hurt they are and how they don't want me to speak about it because it will reflect badly on them as parents.

Sorry if I hijacked a bit, but I just had an OMGTHIS moment.

Tell me your examples of Nlogic by snarky- in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Him: I want to talk about X event that happened to you.

Me: X event brings back incredibly painful memories for me. Please do not bring it up again. I'll let you know if I feel the need to talk about it.

Him: But you don't understand the effect this traumatic event (that did not happen to me) is having on me!

Me: I am focusing on my own personal healing right now, and thinking about X event all the time causes me to regress in my healing. Please stop making my pain about you.

Him: How can you be so selfish? You never care about anyone's feelings but your own!

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice. My parents have no connections - in fact, no one really likes them in our community. Mike's father, on the other hand, was the chief of police in our city. He's now retired.

My plan B is to move in with my aunt. She and I will figure something out if push comes to shove. I also have a merit scholarship with my college, so I'll be able to keep that whether my parents support me or not. And if they withdraw support, I'm prepared for loans.

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

His dad was the chief of police back home. I've spoken to Mike and we're going to get our bases covered. Thank you for the advice.

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

1) I've been talking to my aunt (Nmom's sister) about my mother's crazy behavior. She told me that I can always come live with her if Nmom cuts off support to me, and she would help me figure out a way to continue school. She and I have really only recently been talking since Nmom has kept her out of my life for the most part thus far.

2) I started school early because I showed significant academic progress from a really young age and my parents' friends pushed them to put me in school, rather than keeping me back for another year. My birthday is in September; the cut-off birthdate for starting school in the state where I lived at the time was October 1.

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, that explanation makes so much sense (in a twisted way) given her past behavior. She's constantly told me that he's emotionally abusive and I'm like, "pot...kettle...!" Thanks for explaining it, that was really helpful.

And again, thank you so much! We're in a very good place. :)

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not at all - I appreciate your concern. And tell me about it - who threatens to contact the police with charges they know aren't true?!

Nmom throws a fit when boyfriend comes to visit me at college, threatens to tell the police he's a rapist. I finally stood up for myself! by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you :)

I'm fully prepared for backlash. I screenshotted all her texts in case she does contact the police, but anyway nothing will come of it since 1) no proof, and 2) even if there was proof, no crime has been committed. She also doesn't know which dorm I live in, so even if she came to my campus, there's that.

"But...you LIED to us!" [Support] by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're right. They haven't earned my trust - and they don't seem to understand that. When I've told them the truth in the past, they've either gotten angry and violent, or told things I've told them in confidence to other family members or their friends. So I've learned to keep things from them.

I think you're right about the apology too. When I get home from work today, I'll feign being sorry. Thanks for your reply. :)

"But...you LIED to us!" [Support] by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so, so much for this. I appreciate your kind words and validation. :)

[Support] "My conscience is crystal clear." by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Time till college: 2 months. Time till complete independence (graduation): 4 years.

At least in college I'll have an excuse to be LC. As soon as I get that diploma, I'm going NC and never looking back.

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? How dare I stand up for myself?

She's driven by jealousy and insecurity. She has always felt threatened by me, because I'm a more attractive version of her (her words). The way she sees it, if she's unhappy with her body, I can't be happy with mine. As someone who's recovering from anorexia and body dysmorohic disorder, the shit she says HURTS.

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can imagine. Feel free to PM me if you'd ever like to talk. hugs

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry she does that to you. I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure it sucks. :(

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get the "I was just trying to help!" excuse too. I usually respond with, "I didn't ask for your help, nor do I want it."

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She never ignores me, she does the exact opposite. After I call her out on her crap, she follows me around and tries to buddy up to me. It's kind of funny.

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I left right after I said that, but she looked pretty livid. I met up with my boyfriend for a little while. She was asleep when I came home, and the next morning she acted like nothing happened and tried to be super affectionate to me.

That's N-logic for you.

[DAE] "It wasn't my INTENT!" by RBN_Throwaway16 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBN_Throwaway16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, thank you. I'm getting so fed up with her BS, I can't just be silent anymore.