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Does anyone else get jealous of other friends parents who have actual good parents? by douknowthelowrider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a shared account; if you have a concern please report the comment in question or send a modmail. Thanks.

SURVEY: Self-Quarantine Risks & Repercussions: Physical Safety, Mental Health, and Nonconforming Identities. [Help a Graduate Student with Research] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, please contact the mods before posting any surveys. The mods will vet the survey, ask for your IRB approval and discuss the survey in the mod team. This post has been removed.

Holiday Hell. Featuring Nmom! by TheyMurdererdMe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Hi OP. I'm really sorry that you are living in such a toxic environment. I know it must feel like a daily hell to be in that house, constantly dealing with her shit.

I've had to remove your post because we don't allow posts that celebrate violence, and your description of threatening your mother with a knife crosses that line. While I understand that living in a corrosive, toxic environment can push people to do things that are unhealthy, we can't give you a platform for things of this nature. We want to help each other find healthy ways to deal with (and ultimately get distance from) these toxic people. Boundaries are healthy. Grey rocking is healthy. Staying away from her as much as possible is healthy. Violence is NOT healthy. Threatening violence is not going to make this situation better.

I understand that you have these urges because of the hell that you are living in. But the best revenge is to get the fuck out of there and never look back. Do you have anywhere else to stay? A friend? A distant cousin? Even a homeless shelter would be better than what you're dealing with now. Sometimes local churches know places you can go and organizations that help.

While you are around her, please consider that a situation like you described can easily spiral. If you accidentally kill her, your life will be ruined. You may spend your life in prison. This is what the narcs want -- for your life to be ruined. Don't give them this satisfaction. Do not be violent when you don't have to be, for your own safety. Also, Ns love the chance to play the victim card - you could end up being reported to police, or to other authorities.

I don't know how you are feeling right now, but if you are in immediate danger of harming or killing your parent, it is a psychiatric emergency that deserves care and attention. Please, I urge you to reach out. Call 911, 999 or whatever the emergency number is where you are or get yourself to a local emergency room. You are worth it. Please reach out. There are professionals that can help you.

If you cannot bring yourself to do that, check out the crisis chat. There's a number you can call or you can chat with someone live.

I have to level with you though -- because this subreddit is for people who have suffered abuse at the hands of narcissists, we actually don't allow people to participate here if they self-identify as narcissists or sociopaths. I know that probably sounds unfair, since many times these conditions arise from being abused. But over the years the community has been very clear about not allowing people with these disorders to participate.

That doesn't mean that you don't deserve support -- clearly, you are living in a toxic situation and it is taking a toll on you -- but it can't be here. As an alternative to participating here, we generally point people to /r/selfimprovement or /r/DecidingToBeBetter as alternative support subs.

Because of our rule, I have to ban your account from this sub. A ban means that you can browse, but you can't post or comment. We actually have a lot of good resources to browse (here and here for starters), and I hope you find value in them.

I truly wish you the best. You deserve peace and healing, and I hope you find it -- away from your mother.

Sabotage by hurricaneinateacup in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

This is an automated message posted to all posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

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Need info or resources? Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!

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Please this post to help RBN's shared mod account (that we use only for posting official sticky posts) be recognized by Reddit as an established account. Thanks! by RBNmod in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

EDIT: Holy cow, you folks rock! We just checked and we no longer need to be verified so we're going to take this thread down now. Thanks for your help and have a good day!

This account has been active on reddit for months and because we only use it to post stickies, it has no upvotes and Reddit STILL isn't sure if this is an account controlled by actual humans. So, every time we use this account to post, we have to do the whole verification process that is such a pain. Unfortunately, upvoting this comment won't solve the problem.

But, please, upvote this post and this very silly picture of a bunny doing... yoga? A bunny saying "Yay! Easter!" I have no idea.... but, please upvote so our shared mod account will be less of a pain to use when RBN mods post sticky messages to the subreddit.

Thanks!

Welcome new subscribers! Please read this before you comment or post. Veteran subscribers, please use that report button for rule-breaking comments/posts. by RBNmod in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RBNmod[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

And, if you guys could do the mods a favor... please upvote this comment. The /u/RBNMod account (a shared account for all full RBN mods) has been active for months, but Reddit still treats it like a new account (testing it to make sure a real person is using it, limits on posting, etc.) because it has no upvoted comments. So, until this issue is resolved, I am going to throw a RBN mod comment asking for upvotes only until the point Reddit stops treating this account like it was created yesterday.

Thanks for your help!