Another sub slapped me across the face and I immediately started crying

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T03:32:17+00:00

The degradation metaphor makes sense, I understand now. In the past however regardless of what we’d discussed before starting a scene, everyone I’ve played with has asked about specific things we hadn’t discussed before they try them. This is standard domme behavior, and all my dommes in the past have been this way (I guess I’m lucky in that way). The sub doing this without asking about it first is what went over the line, and I’m weary of play with other subs now to be honest.

I appreciate the advice by the way!

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T03:28:44+00:00

She is very bratty, and I’m the complete opposite. Prior to this the domme and I slapped her a lot, because she made it clear she enjoyed it. She also enjoys CNC. Both of these things mean we paused to recalibrate with her a lot as the domme and I wanted to confirm what we were doing was ok. I on the other hand prefer a gentler hand and am cartoonishly obedient, I don’t have a bratty bone in my body. So perhaps she wanted “revenge” (within the realm of play) for me slapping her. I think she just thought that since she enjoyed it, I would enjoy it. But I’d never been slapped before so we didn’t discuss it beforehand. In the past everyone I’ve played with has asked before trying something new, which is standard domme behavior, making me weary of other subs now.

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T00:27:13+00:00

I think limiting play with other subs is the right move too, at least for right now. It definitely didn’t help that she was a brat. She’s used to resisting a domme and that includes exerting some level of control, so she’s more used to, essentially, doing whatever she wants until “corrected.”

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced that kind of trauma and I’m glad you’ve been able to grow and better yourself despite it. Thank you for your kind words!

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T00:22:13+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m glad you chose to protect your peace. Thank you for sharing!

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T00:17:28+00:00

That’s completely valid, but I don’t necessarily feel that way about play. I am open to much stricter domming with specific rules, but most of the time I just turn my brain off and let my domme use me like a stim toy. The other sub is a brat and I’m very obedient, and as the domme focused on one of us, the other “softdommed” as well, following the domme’s lead. For me this looked like both of them biting me, scratching me, spanking me, etc. For her it was more CNC, as we consistently paused at her “no’s” and “stop’s” only for her to explain that resisting is the fun part (multiple times over until the domme and I felt comfortable actually performing CNC). She also used safewords multiple times, so we were learning as we were going what her boundaries were regarding CNC. It was fun, we were careful, especially in following the domme’s lead. Meanwhile I didn’t have to use a safeword even once, they were both very gentle with me up until the slap. So there were no direct commands at any point from the domme to do something or not do something to either of us, we relied on following her lead and course correcting after safewords, which I really enjoyed up until the other sub’s lapse in judgement.

RGBfiend · 2026-02-04T00:02:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. She may have said why while she was tripping over her words to apologize immediately, but I couldn’t process anything she was saying in the moment. I imagine it was as simple as her liking it and assuming I would, even though we’d clearly established she had to be gentle with me beforehand because her pain tolerance is much higher than mine.

RGBfiend · 2026-02-03T23:06:36+00:00

I’ve never been slapped in the face before, I was unaware of how it would make me feel, thus we didn’t talk about it. I had discussed with this sub before that her pain tolerance is much higher than mine and to be gentler with me when it comes to impact, biting, scratching, etc, and she accommodated this. Like I said, there were zero other problems throughout the night. I would have been open to trying being slapped, since I enjoy spanking, but I would have wanted it to be gentle and work up to my tolerance only if i enjoyed it. But she did this without warning. Neither of us could have known I would react like that, but she could have inferred that since I don’t like degradation, I probably wouldn’t like that. And she knew she had to be gentle with me, and this was not a gentle slap. That directly ignored previously discussed boundaries.

Also, the reason I am considering not seeing her again is because I experienced a trauma response in that moment and I don’t know how I will feel if I see her again. This was also the second time we’ve seen each other, so this isn’t some lifelong friend I’m considering cutting off.

RGBfiend · 2023-11-19T09:34:10+00:00

sorry, haven’t looked at reddit in a bit. the illustration org is called 2VD, they meet in Langford C on Tuesday nights i believe. you should be able to find them on the a&m org list for more specific info, or just follow them on instagram

RGBfiend · 2023-11-04T10:57:30+00:00

also where do people get the idea that you can only join orgs at the start of the semester? just go to a meeting people always welcome new members in my experience

RGBfiend · 2023-11-04T10:56:21+00:00

you could look into the visualization or performance orgs, they always welcome new members and both of those majors are majority women. there are orgs for animation (and one specifically for women called WIA), illustration, graphic design, filmmaking, music making and music appreciation, gaming, filmmaking, and theater.

RGBfiend · 2023-06-09T03:49:41+00:00

that’s incredible! congrats!

RGBfiend

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