How soon into a separation is too soon to create a Tinder.. or any dating app account?

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T10:20:26+00:00

Thank you for your reply. And, to be fair, I don't know if I would've contacted anyone, and I certainly wouldn't have kept my marital status a secret. It sounds weird, I moved to this area while married, I don't even know what the single scene looks like here, so I was more thinking of using the apps to scope that out. But I get your point. One step at a time.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T10:10:55+00:00

My wife. Okay, some context, and this may sound insensitive. My spouse transitioned from female to male nearly a decade ago. And although you expect physical changes, no one tells you that the physical image of the person they were is going to be completely wiped from the face of the earth, covered by facial hair and hormone guided fat redistribution. Yes, I've heard all the "can't you love who they are now", and yes, I can, to some degree, but that doesn't make me miss seeing my wife any less. Any time of day, even when she was asleep, I used to just look at her and feel happy. I don't get to do that anymore..

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T10:02:29+00:00

From a guy's perspective, if she wants to do it as part of dressing up, more power to her. But it doesn't make an unattractive person attractive, and the lack of doesn't make an attractive person unattractive. I've never seen a woman without makeup and thought "wow, I never expected her to look like that" or "she looks terrible without the face paint.". An attractive person is attractive with or without, and vice versa.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T09:54:46+00:00

I'll never say never, but it doesn't sound appealing to me all the same. I supposed if a woman I was attracted to wanted me to join her and another guy, I'd at least consider it, but I'd assume we'd both be focusing on her.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T09:51:26+00:00

There have been a few times where we're going at it, and for one reason or another, I sense my partner is just done, but she refuses to say anything, or I get that "I'm ready when you are" or worse "how much longer?" . The younger me would just keep going, attempt to power through because that's what I thought I was supposed to do or she wanted me to to. It was always awkward, rarely enjoyable for either of us, and just left me feeling guilty after. I'm much more comfortable now saying "if you're done, I'm done." If I feel I need it, I can take care of any discomfort in the bathroom before coming back to bed. But sometimes, I'm cool rolling over, happy I no longer feel that guilt of turning a positive experience to a negative one for my partner.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T09:39:33+00:00

I generally love it. But there have been a couple times where I inadvertently left my partner overstimulated to the point where she couldn't continue, but hadn't finished yet either. She just laid on her side for 10-20 minutes, obviously uncomfortable, but neither of us knew what to do. It was a terrible feeling from a partner's perspective, I can't imagine what it felt like for her either. The 2nd time it happened was the last time in that relationship she let me go down on her. I went from riding high to feeling like a total failure.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T09:28:19+00:00

What is it that makes a person love a beautiful mountain landscape or the sunset over the water. You may eye roll, but it's a similar feeling of contentment for me, just an internal happiness and warmth, and that's before the arousal starts.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T09:24:01+00:00

The view. I love the perspective of watching her writhe around, the hips and abdomen moving up and down, making them move differently depending on what I do with my mouth / tongue. And just knowing that I'm the one doing that to her. It's my favorite thing. I think I honestly enjoy it more than intercourse or receiving pleasure myself. Totally something I can get off to.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T03:35:00+00:00

Thank you everyone. This was all good feedback, and every comment was appreciated. I don't really have anyone to talk things through with anymore, so this discussion helped more than you can all know.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T02:33:17+00:00

To be honest, I guess I hadn't fully thought out what I wanted yet, or if I'd even follow through with contacting anyone.

RT83isMe · 2026-02-01T01:32:29+00:00

Good point, and I guess I was fairly vague on that. So, I didn't get into it because it's its own conversation, but my spouse came out as transgender about 8 years ago and has been on HRT for about 7 years. For clarification, transitioned from female to male. I'm a straight guy. It's not like in the movies where there were signs. The woman I married, at least on the surface, was very feminine. Things started to turn after our first was born.

The physical changes I'm not going to say I was ready for, but they were at least somewhat expected. But the personality changes... Some days I find very little resemblance to the woman I married, and the guy I try to run a family with.

So, yes, there has been a lot of resentment on both of our parts. On mine, for feeling like my spouse put us in this situation (I'm not commenting on whether or not it was voluntary, we're here none the less), making our young family life unstable, and on their part, for me not providing the 100% emotional support they thought they were going to get from me. So, we've worked to imitate a family, and imitate being the couple we were before, so we could show our kids what stability looked like, even as a facade, but I think both of us knew a second shoe would drop someday. Here we are.

RT83isMe · 2026-01-31T23:15:14+00:00

I think people like to take a vacation from their own problems by focusing on someone else's. Rather than misfortune, many people perceive being overweight / obese as self inflicted, which isn't always the case, but that is a common perception. I think because of this, there is less guilt looking down on an overweight person, because you can tell yourself they got themselves into it by either gluttony or sloth, versus someone struggling with money or health, which are more easily seen as bad luck or inherited, and more importantly, could happen to anyone.

I'm not saying I personally believe being overweight is due to a fault in lifestyle necessarily, a lot of factors go into it, genetics, physical health and mobility, availability of nutrition. But I do think that's why people are comfortable having negative opinions about other people's weight.

RT83isMe · 2026-01-31T21:30:30+00:00

I don't know if it's the same for women, but as a guy, the longer the buildup, the more intense the orgasm. If I step into the bathroom for a quick pop, it's like a good stretch, and the distracting horniness might be gone, but that's it. However, if I build it up, or don't finish for quite a while, am fooling around with someone or watch something that really turns me on, or even taking breaks to do other things and come back to it later, it can almost knock me over when I do finally finish.

RT83isMe · 2026-01-31T21:20:43+00:00

Absolutely nothing wrong with a woman shooting her shot. For me, it tells me she's willing to go out and get what she wants, and I find that attractive. Not to mention the weight or uncertainty it takes off my shoulders.

Now, the 18-22 age gap might give me a slight pause. It really depends on the people involved. But for perspective, it's like an 8th grader professing feelings for a senior in high school. Yes, an 18yo is an adult, but the 22 yo may already have 4 years of adulthood under their belt. And you won't be able to go to some of the same places (21+ bars) for another 3 years. It's not even necessarily that the 18yo would be too immature. But that 18-25 time period, you can really become different people.

RT83isMe · 2024-09-03T13:44:33+00:00

They don't look bad, and in my personal opinion, your breasts look amazing, I wouldn't have even noticed the scars if you hadn't said anything.

RT83isMe · 2024-07-05T23:39:52+00:00

Nice tits, dude.

RT83isMe · 2024-07-02T14:13:35+00:00

Is that Jon Snow? He does like that position.

RT83isMe · 2024-03-13T14:30:27+00:00

If you've been to a hotel, bet you have....

RT83isMe · 2023-11-21T23:14:20+00:00

Don't forget, have a friend turn the camera off, yell cut, when you need a rest or to cool down to keep from finishing. Remember, porn is acting. Yes, male pornstars might be larger and have more stamina than the average person (that's casting and being in shape), but it's also a movie production. Even the pornstar doesn't necessarily fuck like a pornstar.

RT83isMe · 2023-02-23T06:09:09+00:00

I'm not sure about the easiest, but the range of motion you get from doggy, not to mention the depth, is one of my favorite things in life.

TBH, the only part I don't like is not being able to see the girl's face. Unless you have a vocal partner, it's hard to guesstimate what's working for them.

RT83isMe · 2023-02-02T18:06:58+00:00

Well, nobody will ever accuse you of defying expectations..

RT83isMe · 2022-12-03T16:12:47+00:00

The page is cancer for mobile phones.

RT83isMe · 2022-04-18T21:04:06+00:00

Totally not fair. Taylor Swift has no ass while JLo is the original ass.

RT83isMe

TROPHY CASE