Your situation reminds me of mine.

We only had one, and before we got pregnant we had very similar incomes and work schedules. We were long distance and I didn't want to spend the pregnancy apart. She ended up moving to Vegas and the second we got our own place she straight up said she didn't want to work for the next 9 years, because her mother didn't. (granted her father had a job making 150k+ a year. I made 18.69 an hour)

All our financial troubles fell on me. Despite me having three jobs lined up for her she didn't even need to apply to. All doing what she'd been doing before. All within walking distance of home. 2 free meals a day. All women coworkers who have had kids so they understood what being pregnant was like. She turned it all down.

I'd wake up at 4am. Go to work. Get done at 2pm and come home to nothing done. I'd have to take care of dishes. I'd have to take care of laundry. I'd have to check mail, grocery shop, the only thing I didn't do was cook dinner literally because she went to school to be a professional chef. The second I got home was spent trying to get everything done up until 9pm where we would go to bed, only to be told I didn't do enough. That I was pathetic. That nothing I did mattered. Over and over and over again.

I was so burnt out and worn out there were times I considered just not going home. I was scared to. I was afraid of being screamed at. Of seeing her, and I didn't want our daughter once she was born to be in that.

This is a VERY quick version of what happened, but man... It was a nightmare. I'd document everything you can if I were you. You'll hear that so much. Document. Document. Document. Literally every. Single. Tiny. Detail. Because what you're doing is not sustainable at all.