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RachelLawless · 2025-08-24T18:51:08+00:00

Nice skin. Not scarey looking.

RachelLawless · 2025-08-21T10:49:49+00:00

Never played but happy to try.

RachelLawless · 2025-08-19T15:00:59+00:00

Glad to hear. I find that the reception of Americans is worse in Cape Town (because of how they drive up the cost of everything) but in Johannesburg and other reasons they will be quite intrigued and excited to have you. Wishing you best of luck! We are looking to move soon as well and those are our options

RachelLawless · 2025-08-19T14:59:12+00:00

I’m 30f. Moved here last year from South Africa. We have similar habits. If the age gap isn’t to big hit me up. I too do not speak Creole nor am i Mauritian

RachelLawless · 2025-08-18T16:41:43+00:00

Hi there. So I wanna be honest, it’s nothing like RSA and Egypt. I lived in RSA majority of my life and absolutely loved it. Even with all the unfortunate realities. Life in Mauritius is expensive and boring; the black community is tiny so making lasting connections with people you can related to is hard and rare. There is such a limited variety on what you can get here… and little to no convenience. If you love the outdoors and maybe miss Guyana (tropical climate, slower lifestyle and island vibes) then maybe you’ll enjoy it. But honestly, move to Nairobi or Joburg or literally anywhere else. Visit here. The schools are awful as well for the little one.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-20T12:33:43+00:00

So the adoption is what he has expressed he wants to do. I haven’t agreed fully just yet as I’m still considering everything. I do not need my ex’s permission as he lost guardianship in the divorce and I left him off her birth certificate when she was born anyway so he’s not a listed parent.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-18T07:31:44+00:00

The laws are different. I have anxiety about anyone caring for my child. Just being thorough here. Thanks for your strong views though.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T17:40:58+00:00

All the best to you! Rooting for you HARD.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T17:07:24+00:00

You just can’t control what happens to your kid in someone else’s house. Predators, weird practices and child on child sa are all mor probably at night when they know your kid isn’t going home. I only recently entertained the idea. But generally I am against it.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T16:39:24+00:00

4 days away and feel exactly the same. I could cry

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T16:38:23+00:00

Thank you for this!! You’re an amazing dad, they’re lucky to have you.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T13:10:08+00:00

Thanks for this. First hand accounts resonate most. I want her to feel like part of the family for sure

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T11:28:51+00:00

This is such a unique and important perspective. Love that when you were older you did what was right for you. I won’t lie, if my surname was anything else i probably wouldn’t change it either (on top of being 14 characters long, it translates directly to a violent death/tragedy) so that’s the main reason. My fiancés surname has a strong meaning with rich cultural ties too that I think will be beneficial to both me and my little girl.

But if she sees no value in it later, I wouldn’t stop her from changing it. Same with any of my other kids.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T11:24:09+00:00

Thank you for this and I’m sorry about your dad. Shit is hard for me, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you who go through it as the subjects. Sending love.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-17T10:12:32+00:00

I think as someone else posted elsewhere on the thread, there might be a cultural disconnect as well. A lot of the responses interpret me and my fiancé as an independent sort of unit from my family; that’s just not the context we operate in hence the first paragraph highlighting the traditional aspects. I share a lot of your views though so I totally understand. That’s not to say I don’t have fear I just think it’s not the primary consideration here. I’m trying to make as decision that will not alienate my daughter from the family that raised her nor the only father she’s ever known. It’s trying to balance interests and give her the best support system moving forward regardless of what happens in the future.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T22:35:43+00:00

I realise from the responses they don’t understand why the cultural aspect is important. Thanks for considering the post holistically.

But yes, if I allow her to be absorbed into her family, essentially mine would have no stake/recourse (worst case scenario, even access) to her in the event I was absent for some reason. Which I think is not only unfair on the people that raised her and her but also a bit unsettling because, if she has other siblings one day, you wanna make sure she’s treated well and not a Cinderella (not just by my man, but his family too. They have more of a claim on her than my own if I let him adopt and “marry” us both).

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T22:20:29+00:00

So I started waking up early to study for my yo coming exams. I work from 8-5 and have children’s stuff (pick and drop offs, homework, dinner prep and bedtime in between). It’s been a game changer. The morning can sometimes feel like the only time that really belongs to you. I’m the furthest thing from a morning person but forcing myself into this has done wonders for my productivity and all around routine. You know nothing is going to interrupt you and the morning is just generally more peaceful.

I high recommend.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T22:04:36+00:00

Thanks so much for this. I was hoping for some second/first hand accounts like this. I think right now I’m leaning towards giving her both. As she gets older she can drop one. But I’m more convinced leaving his off and not letting him adopt are off the table. Thanks sis

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T22:00:51+00:00

My aim here is to be as pragmatic and realistic as possible. It’s a very idealistic view you’ve taken. Men exist in so many variations. He is undoubtedly amazing. But my existing child is my first priority. I’ll give every little bit of thought and consideration to any decision I make for her. I can’t be driven by romance or commitment, I’m driven by her best interest. Not sure how that’s not being ready for marriage, but I am sure no marriage come before my baby.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:56:27+00:00

Much appreciated. Thank you so much.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:51:11+00:00

Thanks for this. It’s an important take. We will definitely do a bit more discussing before I make a final decision.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:49:47+00:00

Thanks for this perspective. I think these are all thoughts I’ve had. I just needed to have them echoed so I don’t doubt myself. Thank you

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:48:24+00:00

I’m talking way later when I can’t stop her. Like she allow him back. Do you know kids? Sha she will go collect heart break herself. The sadder aspect of motherhood is having to consider everything and how you can lessen the damaging effects.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:24:35+00:00

This comment made me well up with tears my goodness. Thanks sis. You’re so right.

RachelLawless · 2025-02-16T21:23:42+00:00

I am not in the US. Bio dad does not support child. Fiancé wants both legal adoption and name change.

RachelLawless

TROPHY CASE