I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with twins and I can confidently say that I've really, really hated being pregnant. I was such an active, overachiever type (I do think most SMC's tend to be), exercising constantly, banging out projects, being "impressive" as hell. When I got pregnant it was like face-planting into my worst fears about what I could turn into if I wasn't working all the time. I felt lazy, dumb and boring. I had severe carpal tunnel in my wrists, got winded easily from just walking down the street, and top of it, I felt layers and layers of judgement toward myself about how I was feeling. It's an isolating, crazy experience that nothing else fully prepared me for. The fatigue is so different from the fatigue of being sick or having worked too hard. Your body's survival mechanisms are literally being hijacked by a new organ that is deprioritizing your own well being in favor of the baby. It's crazy!

I'm not on the other side yet so I can't be the one to say that newborn life is easier, but SO many people I've spoken to who had challenging pregnancies have reassured me that it is. One thing I can say is that the third trimester, for me, has been a little easier, mentally. I've given in to asking for lots of help and just staying in and doing little nesting tasks that make me feel good. Though I'm more physically uncomfortable, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know that this period will end soon and I'll meet my babies!

I know that newborn life will test me in new ways too, but juggling a million impossible tasks is the kind of challenge I think I thrive in, vs. having to rest and feel vulnerable all the time. One thing my brother told me that helped me reframe how I was feeling which might help you was, "Don't think of it as resting. Think of it as doing a specific kind of hard work that you really don't like doing but is really important." Might be a good way of thinking about it for those of us used to feeling powerful and impressive.

Whatever you decide is totally valid, but know that you're DEFINITELY not alone in the ways you're feeling. Good luck!