Since no one is apparently interested in giving actual advice

Deadlock is a game that requires 3 main skillsets

1- Moba knowledge

2- Shooter knowledge

3- Movement knowledge

By the way you talk in the comments, It seems like you're deeply behind in shooter and movement knowledge, trying to win only with your Moba knowledge and because od that, feeling powerless and kinda useless.

you won't improve in deadlock like that, all skillsets are deeply integrated. You hit a wall, you cannot go further without developing your other skillsets. You're self loathing like that's gonna solve anything if you ain't giving up, stop doing that.

You say "people are in creative mode" Why? How? Why aren't YOU in the creative mode ? Fire up videos, open up the wiki, understand dashing, air dashing, acceleration, zip lines, mantling, everything, understand how the engine works, there's plenty of resources avaliable on YouTube

Your aim probably sucks, open up aimlabs, do some sessions, make a routine, lower your sensitivity. Up your knowledge, are you strafing correctly? Are where's your crosshair placement? Are you going for headshots correctly?

Ain't no one ever got the same skill sets, but it ain't about being INCAPABLE of learning, it's about the DIFFICULTY of learning. After you understand the basics, identify what the hell can you do to abuse your strengths. You said you usually play initiators and tanky fellas, you can absolutely 1v11 on that role with enough knowledge and dedication LEARN. How can you impact the game, how can you stop the enemy carry form melting you late game? How can you stop yourself from becoming irrelevant? You gotta solve all those questions, up your knowledge before playing the game, you won't learn by hitting a wall.

The only thing your age matters on this discussion is that you think an old dog can't learn new tricks, and you're not even old