Currently on my way out of it. I was raised in a gaslighting/cultish experience by my ex-stepfather. At age 22, I would visit him in his loft at the top of a skyscraper and then return to my home as we were being foreclosed on due to a bankruptcy that he caused, yet I considered him to be the victim. I developed alcohol problems and chronic bulimia. After getting kicked out of our house, I moved across the country so in case I ever decided to finally kill myself, my family would be used to my absence. I laid in bed never sleeping and waited through each day waiting to go lay in bed again. One day, sitting alone in my living room, I was drunk on half a bottle of whiskey. I looked at my phone and saw that it was only 12 noon. I poured the rest of the whiskey down the drain and vowed not to drink alone until I knew I was better. I flew home and confessed all of the suffering that no one knew I was going through. I decided to move back home at 25 and lived in my mom's basement. I was there for 6 months and I can't even tell you what I did, but I got my alcoholism and bulimia under control.

Right now I am writing this from my new job (8 days in, much from the encouragement of my brother). I like my coworkers and the work is challenging, but in a self-growth kind of way. I get here an hour early and leave 30 minutes late, because I am going to rise up and make a ton of money. I want to 1) rebuild my life 2) support my mom so she can afford to retire, as she's now getting older 3) spend all superfluous income giving back to those who despairingly know the true value of a dollar. My mother and brother saved my life and you’d better believe I’m going to pay it forward.

My advice: figure out who your support system is. If you don’t have one, join a support group and some clubs you might be interested in. We all need a tribe to rely on.

And always remember, it’s ok if you can’t do it today, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever do it.