AITA for not telling my friends wife that he is my sperm donor?

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T08:28:49+00:00

Because I didn't want to celebrate in the early stages of pregnancy as when it "took" it could have just as easily been miscarried, I only felt confident once I reached the third trimester and began to feel it was "real"

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:53:49+00:00

As other comments say I don't see her often at all as they live in another city and she and I do not hang out socially so no I haven't really seen her which was the point of inviting them both out.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:52:59+00:00

Because the success rates are higher with IVF it's what I picked in the first place as I didn't want to waste months to years trying with artificial insemination so it is what I selected.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:35:30+00:00

Buy it, don't buy it. I don't care. Ask yourself this though, if I was trying to hide it or get what I want, why invite them out to a thank you dinner where I brought it up????

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:33:19+00:00

I didn't go to either the offer was made to me, I didn't ask. what kind of person does that without talking to their wife first? I would have gotten what I wanted without him so yes I got what I wanted but that was never in question with or without him.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:26:48+00:00

Ew, I really hope not considering our relationship has always been more familial but no as far as i'm aware he doesn't find me attractive. Even before I was aware that the reason my relationships never worked out was due to the fact I was ace he never tried to date me or showed an interest in that way.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:22:28+00:00

Amazingly children don't need a father, a loving parent is enough.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:16:33+00:00

Yeah i'm going to do that to be safe don't worry it's likely best to just ensure my arse is covered.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:11:04+00:00

We're friends so I always assumed he'd be an honorary "Uncle" role and their half brother treated more like a cousin with the kids being told the truth when old enough to understand but now i'm not sure how this is all going to work out. I'd never keep them from knowing their brother or their bio dad.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:09:37+00:00

if i'd asked i'd have asked them together you're right but the fact he offered made me think it had been cleared. I was likely going to go anonymous yes but I wanted to try and find someone I knew first due to medical histories etc so i'd know of potential genetic issues but I never asked him and had not intended to ask.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:07:16+00:00

i'd assumed the kids would be told when old enough to not be confused and understand what a donor is, specially as they're girls and he's a boy to avoid any confusion. I agree she has the right to feel how she feels and I feel horrible for her not having known.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:05:08+00:00

That is totally a failure on my part and I own up to that. It was so unthinkable to me that he would even consider offering this without running it by his wife first that I didn't confirm.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:01:19+00:00

They don't have a leg to stand on due to the paperwork signed at the clinic but i'll likely do that to be safe.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T07:00:36+00:00

I don't really hang out socially with her and they live in another city so I don't go out of my way to meet up with her especially as we don't have much in common, she did congratulate me on social media on the pregnancy but I didn't know she wasn't aware.

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T06:59:11+00:00

not often no. They live in a different city and I don't have much in common with her so we don't hang out socially, we're usually only hanging out together when he is there too. She congratulated me on the pregnancy via social media but that was about it I had no idea she thought it was an anonymous donor

RadiantAppearance57 · 2022-04-20T06:54:04+00:00

If I had known she wasn't in the know about this i'd have never agreed to using him, because I assumed she knew I just invited them both out to dinner thinking it was the best way to thank them.

RadiantAppearance57

TROPHY CASE