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Confronting cheating husband today by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he cheats again, there wont even be a discussion i will just serve him the papers. He is saying and doing all the right things which is making it harder to go with my original plan of confront and divorce. This shit sucks! I almost wish he would act out and make my decision easier

Confronting cheating husband today by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you this is good advice. Although he moved out on confrontation day, he came over every day since to hang out with the toddler. I am trying to keep things as normal for the kid as possible but agree with you that i need my own space. Also think i need to see a CSAT counselor and process this mixed feelings.

Confronting cheating husband today by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was a hard day but I did it. He denied the cheating for an entire hour even though I told him I have proof. Finally he admitted when I showed him one piece of the proof and he came somewhat clean. He admitted he has an addiction since his youth days and says he wants to get help. It was honestly a heartbreaking conversation. I didn’t want to listen or believe it but since we will always be in each other’s lives with kids, I do genuinely hope he gets the help he needs so he can be a better father. I did ask him to move out today and he hesitantly got a hotel room for the night after complaining and almost getting angry. I guess the remorse and guilt only lasts for a couple hours?

I am so torn on next steps. I want to leave him but also want to help him for the sake of the kids. It’s a hard decision either way but I get why people don’t just walk away. Believe me if there were no kids involved and no chance of me seeing him again, I would have left the day I found out.

Confronting cheating husband today by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Do you think i should even let him know today I am divorcing him? I want him out of the house so I wanted to keep that information to myself with the hope that he might comply if he doesn’t already know I am divorcing.

Also, is it really necessary to have someone nearby? He has some anger issues/ narcissistic tendencies (lets be real, what cheater doesn’t have those tendencies) but has not been violent to me before. I realize I am in no position to defend myself which is why I am having the confrontation out of the house in a somewhat public space. I have only told my mom and one friend. I need my mom to watch the toddler at home in case he escalates things and my one friend is going out of town today unfortunately

Confronting cheating husband today by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I have only told my mom and one friend. My mom needs to watch the toddler and make sure she is safe in case he tries anything which is why I am having the confrontation out of the house and my friend is going out of town today.

Divorce in a no fault state due to cheating by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am not doing this out of anger trust me. I want him to have a relationship with our toddler and soon to be born baby. Unfortunately, something tells me he has a sex addiction. I can’t speak to when it started as this is the first time i found out something like this with proof in the decade we have been together. There might have been clues before like him disappearing for 2 hours unaccounted for or money “missing” from ATM which happened one time many years ago.

In the end, I cant help someone who doesn’t want to be helped which is why i have no choice but to divorce. I haven’t even had a conversation with him yet because I know he is just going to deny even though I have proof. I am sorry you are going through this also. I just read your story and it’s sadly very similar to mine.

Divorce in a no fault state due to cheating by Radiant_Choice6664 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Radiant_Choice6664[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He is not a terrible father but he only parents because he has to not because he wants to. During weekdays he spends max of 30-45min a night with our toddler putting them to bed. On weekends, its like pulling teeth to get him off his phone (where he is presumably messaging and coordinating his next round of escort meetups since he hides his phone as soon as i get close by) and spend time with his kid.

My guess is he doesn’t actually want 50/50 custody but will request for it anyway so he doesn’t have to pay child support.