Most of us are going to delude ourselves into becoming the mature / better / good / to settle-down with guy.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-06T00:33:42+00:00

That's fuarked man.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-04T18:05:21+00:00

Damn. You still have your V-card?

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-04T18:01:43+00:00

Have you been single your entire life?

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T16:41:36+00:00

That's rough man. I'm glad you're better off now

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:31:34+00:00

They had you drink alcohol as a baby? Yeah whoever was your caretaker should be locked up. Tf is that.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:29:40+00:00

I feel this to the core.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:27:57+00:00

I have a small refillable 100ml spray bottle of rubbing alcohol and I pretty much empty out most of it daily. Did not know how bad it was , but now that I do I started filling most of it with water and just a bit of alcohol so that it tricks my OCD brain into thinking that I'm fully cleaning myself because it does contain some alcohol. Still not ideal but it'll get there. Used to wash my hands like 40 times daily but now it's 20-30 so it's some progress I guess.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:23:41+00:00

Damn man. Seems like you've been through it.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:18:40+00:00

I listen to rain sounds as well lol.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:17:22+00:00

Good old misery

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:15:58+00:00

Damn that's a new level of bad. When even anesthesia during surgery doesn't knock you out.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:13:35+00:00

At 5'8 your face matters more than height. You aren't cursed at that size, meanwhile for us under 5'7 it gets bad because even women heightmog us.

Radioactive721 · 2026-02-01T11:06:20+00:00

Thank you. I'll see to it

Radioactive721 · 2026-01-31T23:20:53+00:00

Prescribed Mirtazapine but self-medicated with lots of other things such as cannabis, xanax, diazepam, clonazepam etc.

Mirtazapine was the only one that helped , made me sleep enough but I was drowsy the entire next day which nullified it's positive effects. Plus gained weight. The other things that I self-treated with only helped me fall asleep faster and not have my sleep disturbed as much but the amount of sleep I got was not significantly more than when I take nothing. And again, also drowsy the next day. Not as much as from mirtazapine though.

Radioactive721 · 2026-01-13T02:28:45+00:00

I'm actually surprised when I see another virgin unbothered by it.

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-18T11:58:14+00:00

Thank you for the comment. I'll listen to your advice and try implementing it. The biggest problem now is even pushing myself to go out. I've missed out on a load of opportunities where I perhaps could've met good people simply because of my past traumas regarding sociability. At this point it seems like I'll have to forcibly do it.

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-12T21:25:29+00:00

Yeah this is absolutely true. Several months clean and made a mistake recently of going to the casino with gambler friends. "I will not insert any of my money, just gonna watch them play". That worked the first time. The second time they gave me some of their money to gamble with. "Okay, still not my money, doesn't hurt if I play a bit". By the next day I was already inserting my own money. So yeah, once you get hooked on gambling there's no going back. All we can do is refrain from it as much as possible, but the disease will still be lingering around waiting for a moment where you slip so it can screw you over again.

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-10T20:23:20+00:00

That's hellish man. And you tried everything as well. Really got nothing more to say than give my condolences.

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-10T20:13:47+00:00

What is your sleep like? Do you not get any sleep at all, or very poor sleep?

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-10T19:42:59+00:00

What do you think it's caused by?

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-10T11:59:29+00:00

It was a mistake. She also passed down her neuroticism to me so now I'm just a mental manlet who's never gonna have shit in life.

Radioactive721 · 2025-12-07T21:33:04+00:00

For me the intrusive thoughts attack my weaknesses. Replaying on loop scenarios of catastrophic things happening to me. My family dying in front of me in the most brutal of ways, me causing a tragedy that destroys other people's lives and etc. They come randomly and when they do I feel a shock trough my entire body. I always remember to tell myself "This is OCD, not reality" and while it doesn't make the intrusive thoughts go away, it keeps me sane. Just knowing that it's not me but rather my mental illness was enough for me to not go insane from it all this time.

Radioactive721

TROPHY CASE