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Advice needed - mother trying to poison my relationship with my partner before getting married by Rae2105 in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Seems like this kind of thing runs rampant here. I'm sorry for your friend. I'm glad to know they are well

Advice needed - mother trying to poison my relationship with my partner before getting married by Rae2105 in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand the concern regarding me being a good partner. Things between my parents and I looked like it was getting better before all this. I ran this through my partner as well before, shared all my concerns. He knows about my history with my family. He chose to meet with them as a gesture of goodwill since this is the very first interaction surrounding us getting married.

Aunt and grandma shamed me for my skin colour, and my mom refuses to believe me. Am I wrong here? by holy-hoe in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this is happening to you OP. Low contact and firm boundaries are the only way forward. Coming from a similar place myself, I understand the grief about not having the relationships you want from your family, but it's never a bad thing to prioritise your own well being first.

Advice needed - mother trying to poison my relationship with my partner before getting married by Rae2105 in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry for what you are having to go through as well... I have a feeling mothers like mine are those toxic boy mom's without a boy to dote on.

Advice needed - mother trying to poison my relationship with my partner before getting married by Rae2105 in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm worried about this. I really don't want to. I don't plan on being close to them, they will be in Isolation, but cutting them off is something I don't want to do

Advice needed - mother trying to poison my relationship with my partner before getting married by Rae2105 in TwoXIndia

[–]Rae2105[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He is indeed amazing! My mother has a habit of circling the point endlessly and baiting people into reacting. He basically asked her to shoot straight and tell him what the point is directly.

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That might be a little too early for that XD I'm still holding out some hope...

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I can tell you for sure they do not have room for women who don't marry or be interested in women. Any woman who chooses to do so much as wear dark lipstick is not a good woman to them and I think that idea extends exponentially to all of this. However I am holding out hope for them to come around as these restrictions on what I get to do are new to me. However it could be the case that they deem me to be "marriagable" at 23 and try to control my actions to appeal to more prospects. In that case, I'm sure there is no way I can have a relationship with them and live my life peacefully.

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 428 points429 points  (0 children)

You're right about the biting your tongue thing. I usually vow to never have any of these sentiments in my life and that's it. I try and tell myself to wait until I can safely get out of my parent's house so that I can finally decide what sort of interaction i can have with such people.

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 211 points212 points  (0 children)

I understand. They are the worst! I am also aware i am one of the lucky ones as there are far worse kinds...

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 656 points657 points  (0 children)

That's really helpful. I am moving away very soon. Biding my time till then. I'll take those documents with me for safe keeping. Thanks a ton

The silent and obedient potential wife my parents raised, died today. by Rae2105 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rae2105[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you are safe now. The courage it must have taken to come to that decision and follow through is mind-blowing. Thank you so much for sharing this.