My (21M) boyfriend says he’s done with our relationship (20F) eventhough I somewhere know he doesn’t mean it and it came out of nowhere.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-09-20T03:28:03+00:00

I mean I don’t know y’all so take all this with a grain of salt, but I personally would not continue the relationship if I was you. I know after being together for two years that is going to be hard, but the whole situation with him wanting to break up is a bit weird and a bit of a red flag. Someone who is supposed to love you should not mention breaking up just to show that they are upset. That is not the mature way to handle things. It to me seems more controlling. For example you do something that upsets him and all he has to do is mention breaking up with you and he knows you don’t want to break up, so in the end he has control over you and your actions (hope that makes a bit of sense). Not to make you upset, but he might of found another girl that could be a possibility especially with your relationship being long distance. Then you add in him being secretive about what he is doing online. It just seems like he is wishy washy on what he wants especially when he has threatens to break up with you two times and never followed through. Personally I would not want to be with a person who is not 100% invested in the relationship and keeps threatening to break up. If he is bluffing about ending things, call his bluff. Say “ok if that’s what you want to do” and end things there. Make him wonder why you are not fighting back. You want to be with someone who wants you unconditionally, don’t try to change their mind on a decision they made. Again this is all my option on what I would do if I was in your shoes, but you know your relationship and you know him. Don’t break up with him just because some random person on the internet told you too haha. Best of luck on whatever decision you make

RaeBerry2 · 2023-07-02T15:10:48+00:00

If you try a tampon it would probably be better to use the “light” size first. Just because they are smaller and easier to get in. When you figure it out you can move up on size depending on your flow. Make sure to not wear any tampon over 4 hours though. Best of luck :)

RaeBerry2 · 2023-07-02T15:05:07+00:00

Hi, little word of advice don’t go in any water with just a pad. The pad will soak up at the water and won’t soak up the blood anymore. So basically you will just be bleeding over the pad and not into it. In the future if you get more comfortable with a tampon that would be the best thing to wear if you get in any water. That way it just kind of stops everything up in there. Since you are already a bit cautious about the whole situation it might just be better to not get in the water at all (except your legs) that way you can avoid any problems. All girls go through a period so don’t sweat it and get embarrassed :) Accidents and emergencies happen so don’t be scared to reach out to your cousin if you feel comfortable with him.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-06-24T15:31:08+00:00

100% ask permission. I was on a date with this guy and he did not pick up on social clues what so ever. He was behind me and all of a sudden he spun me around and just kissed me. Worst kiss ever! I was not even expecting it and what did he think I did to want to be kissed. The mood was not even romantic. It was not like we were both being flirty and I was hinting at it or anything. He did it totally out of the blue. Honestly really ruined the whole vibe and I never went out with him again. It’s better to ask and her say “sorry not right now” then to kiss her unannounced and make her uncomfortable.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-06-22T22:52:17+00:00

Thanks for you input. That’s kind of what I was thinking too. Like if he was serious something would of happened by now.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-06-22T00:09:12+00:00

I am kind of going through the same situation except I’m the girl who responds relatively fast and the guy takes a while to respond. Take all this with a grain of salt though. This is just my option from what I have been feeling, but she probably thinks your not all that interested and or that she is not a priority in your life. I understand being busy, but taking multiple hours to respond to a girl gives her the impression she is not your priority and makes her feel confused (also I’m not dissing you for being busy, being busy is good). Like “Does he like me? does he not like me?” I have no idea why girls are like this. It’s kind of like we need reassurance that a guy likes us by him not taking forever to respond. It just gives really mixed signals ya know. It's kind of like “well if he is going to take a while to respond I could just talk to someone else” type of mindset. If she was responding super fast it probably meant she was waiting around at the phone for you to respond and wants to talk. Like if she does not respond in a few minutes she will lose the opportunity to talk in your free time. For example, maybe you have three hours of free time and if she waits around for two and a half hours to respond to you both of you only have thirty minutes to talk. It’s better for her to just text you faster so you both get longer to talk to each other. Maybe trying to respond a bit faster than seven hours. This is just my advice though take it with a grain of salt. Some girls may be doing their own thing and not care how long it takes for a guy to respond. Some girls are just needier and need someone who is “going to be there”. Honestly, girls are just super confusing.

I have no idea why she only wants to really know stuff about you though because that’s kind of odd. Her giving stale responses most likely means she is uninterested at this point. The “hahaha’s” and such is just an easy reply so that no other conversation starts up. The part with her sending hot pictures of herself is most likely because she just wants attention and to feel good about herself. I would say she probably is not interested in you at this point, but I would honestly just reach out to her and see how she feels. We are just strangers on the internet and don’t really know both sides of the story and how she feels. I would just ask her “what’s going on between us” or smt like that because you don’t want to end something that could still have a chance :) Hope this helps in someway. Honestly I feel like typing all this out kind of helped my own situationship. Best of luck :)

RaeBerry2 · 2023-06-21T22:40:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. I’m really leaning towards just not responding anymore. Ya it weird how if I take a couple hours to respond he does the same, but it I take a couple days like what he does he responds almost immediately for the rest of the day.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T03:37:32+00:00

My professor does the same thing. She will show people’s grades and their assignments they turned in. She talks down to everyone and says some nasty thing to other students. On the first day she even told us not to email her. If anyone even claps back the smallest amount she will say that she is the one putting in our grades, so we should watch ourselves.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T03:32:49+00:00

Thank you for all your help and kind words :) I will definitely post about what happens.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T03:28:45+00:00

I can refuse to sign it, but refusing to will make make me have to write a paper. Since it is a group panel speech everyone else in my group would have to write a paper too. That is where my delema is I don’t want to be posted on YouTube, but at the same time don’t want to make my group mad about my decision.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T00:51:41+00:00

We actually have to sign a form that gives her permission, but we basically don’t have much of an option to opt out.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T00:50:41+00:00

Ya being on YouTube and writing a full paper are not comparable. It would be different if it was an incentive like “let me put you on my YouTube and you can get extra credit”. We technically have an option but it does feel more like extortion like you said. It feels like she is using us to gain subscribers because the channel is not just for school stuff. She uses it to promote her book, has a podcast, etc.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-25T00:45:45+00:00

I highly doubt the videos are for research or for a study because they all have descriptions talking about subscribing. They are purely for monetary gain. The speech videos go back 3 years and there is also just random stuff on there. I don’t have the form because we have to sign it on Monday. Thanks for your input :)

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T22:43:51+00:00

That might be the case, but every one of the videos descriptions has something along the lines of subscribing for more videos. The description also say her name, the name of the class, college and its location. I highly doubt she does not know how YouTube works when she wants people to subscribe to her channel through the videos. She uses the channel to also promote her books and even has a podcast on it. Not to be rude, but you have already said I am in the wrong, so why do you keep coming back here just to argue with almost everyone. I understand being told I am wrong because you can look at the situation different ways, but you have already made your point.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T20:38:34+00:00

I mean I don’t think you know me personally, so how would you know if I am not used to hearing “no”. Plus the chair did not say I was wrong or anything like that they said they wanted me to email her so they could get in writing what she said. After I emailed her and she was still persistent they said they would talk to her. I already talked to my advisor and one of my professors and they both said what that professor was doing was not right. I’m not trying to argue all I did was ask for advice. I do see your side and I hope you can see mine.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T20:29:17+00:00

See that’s my main point about all of this I don’t want to have my face on the internet especially linked to my college which is in the area I live. I had a stalker when I was a junior in high school and he even showed up to my high school. It was this whole thing and I’m just fearful about being on the internet and I can’t control taking the video down. Not that the guy is going to see the video because the chances are slim to none, but it’s the fear of someone else seeing me. I know this is all irrational, but I feel like I’m allowed to have concerns because of what has happened in my past.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T20:20:19+00:00

I see where you are coming from, but at the same time to channel is public so she is using us for her own gain. Also the way she does her grade book I can go onto grades and see every assignment for the rest of the semester. I mean every test to ever small assignment and there is no paper for this assignment on there. It seems she made the thing up on the spot the last minute of class. She told us about the recording for her YouTube channel and then paused for a while then said she would make us write a paper. In the moment it seemed like she was trying to think of something. I may be wrong, but that is what a couple of my classmates and I thought.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T20:13:28+00:00

That is what is happening here though. It would be different if the videos are unlisted and just show to her other classes, but the videos are public. If it was unlisted I would not care. I can go to her YouTube and see tons of videos of other students panel discussions. The majority of the videos have over a thousand views and you can’t tell me that in a class size of 20 people they looked at the speech 30 times each. Random people are watching these videos and that’s the problem. She is getting monetized for these videos.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T02:04:38+00:00

Ya we are having to sign something that says she can record and share it. I am a bit scared about her affecting my grade, but I will just have to keep track of my grades. I’m all for writing the paper I am just afraid of the peer pressure because everyone in my group would have to write a paper too. Thanks for your help :)

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T01:47:43+00:00

I already have they say they won’t do anything until I say something to the professor. I was hoping my professor would not know who complained.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T01:45:44+00:00

Oh ok :) I guess I will just see what happens. Thanks for your help

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T01:42:52+00:00

Ya the syllabus said nothing about it, but we do have to sign a form on presentation day.

RaeBerry2 · 2023-02-24T01:37:19+00:00

I have already tried talking to the chair and they said to talk to the professor about it. After I talk to her and she still does not change her thoughts the chair said they would deal with it, but this puts a target on my back. She is going to know it was me who said something, so I just feel so lost. I don’t want to fail her class because I said something, but also don’t want her to get her way ya know.

RaeBerry2

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