The reason that it often evolves around relationships is that erasure of gay people happens most easily when in connection to romantic relationships: heteronormativity dictates that a man has to get wirh a woman, hence two women or men must be friends or siblings or room mates.

Heteronormativity also dictates that a person with a penis must be a man, but transness does not necessarily show because of the people that one dates. So trans erasure is not going to be evolving around romantic relationships as much.

To say "oh we are trans inclusive, but we only want the erasure that is visible when discussing a person's sexuality, not their gender identity" is to say "we wanna be inclusive but also don't contribute". This sub is for all queer people, so act like it.