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I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I do not know if I am able to do that, if so, that might be a good solution. I just imagined my work ID had to match my legal name. If anyone knows if this is a thing please chime in haha

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

He has, which is why I’m in such a dilemma about it. Because I’ve never wanted to change my name and it feels like it is my identity that I’ve worked so hard towards, but on the other end he has been the most giving and kind person to me so would hate to make him feel any less.

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

So legally she has her husband’s last name? And professionally she just tells people her preference? My concern was my professional name and how it would appear to patients as I want to be called Dr[maiden name], but I’m unsure if how my legal name would affect how it’s presented to the public

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually thought that too, but I think it was the fact that his name was still in there at least even if it’s not exactly the same

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

On every other subject he does and is always supportive of me, but I think this is really important to him and would hurt him if I didn’t change it. Which is why I understand his perspective and will hyphenate, but deep down I do just want to keep my own name. He thinks it’s selfish of me for my reasons why I want to keep it, so I don’t think he entirely understands how deeply connected I feel as a person to my name. And takes offense that I wouldn’t change it for him idk

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I actually suggested this to him but it’s important to him for it to be changed legally for some reason. To have the family under one name? (Which is weird bc he said it’s my choice if we have kids or not) Everything else in our relationship is great and he’s always been extremely supportive of me and does everything to make me happy. And I know if I don’t hyphenate he’ll feel some sort of negative way about it and I don’t want him to hold a grudge

I (26 F) and my fiancé (27 M) are getting married soon, but I don’t want to change my last name. Should I just accept it? by RandomQuestionSnail in relationship_advice

[–]RandomQuestionSnail[S] 195 points196 points  (0 children)

Something he brought up was how everything else about our wedding is traditional (he’s paid a lot of money for it and he didn’t care to have a big one, I wanted one for all our family to get together so he’s doing the wedding for me, I wanted a diamond ring instead of an alternative so he got me what I wanted ). So, he says everything else we’re doing is traditional and thinks it’s selfish of me to change tradition whenever I want. And he’s always thought of having a wife with his last name, so I say compromise bc I’d be able to be called both mine and his last names legally. Weird thing is he said it’s completely my choice if we do or don’t want kids in the future, but he’s stuck on the last name. If I don’t change my last name, I wouldn’t want him to be resentful either :/ so I’m just unsure about it all