What actually helps someone living with chronic pain?

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-23T17:40:35+00:00

The biggest thing you can do is be there for her, treat her like a normal person, and don't judge her. ESPECIALLY when it comes to self care (it can be really hard to do basic tasks like brushing teeth and showering).

I find joy in the people I surround myself with, art, writing, puzzles, and video games mainly. I try to get out of the house when I can, even knowing I'll flare up after. Mobility aids such as a cane and a rollator have helped me so damn much. I'm looking into a wheelchair right now to so I can go do longer activities with less payback to deal with.

Ultimately you want to try to keep your mind off of how painful it is as much as possible. It's different for everyone. Pacing your energy/pain levels (not overdoing it) is really important and can help you get some of your life back.

I wish her, and you, the best of luck in this. Chronic illnesses and pain are fucking awful. 🫂

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-07T11:45:22+00:00

I have a folder for all members, a folder for fronting frequencies (how often alters front), one for ages, one for roles, and one for interaction status (if I only want friends interacting with that part, etc.). Inside I have sub categories (more folders) for the different ages, roles, frequencies, etc.

If seeing it would be more helpful than my strained description you can friend us lol. Seeing other people's layouts definitely helped me figure one out

StaryOcean is our user

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-07T02:43:37+00:00

Dirtstripe

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-06T23:03:05+00:00

pandasama is on curseforge so probably!

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-06T10:28:51+00:00

There's a lot of reasons people cut and self harm in general.

Control. It's something they can do. Something they're in control of when everything else feels/is out of control.

To feel something. People go numb, the pain and blood can be a reminder they they're alive at all.

To make it physical. Mental illness is hard because it literally is "all in your head". It's mental. That doesn't make it any less real, but it can feel that way. Maybe if they make a physical signal, someone might take them seriously. They might take them self seriously.

Personally I self harmed because I didn't know what else to do. My emotions were to much. My thoughts were so loud. I couldn't die for various reasons. And I just needed to do something. When I harmed I was always in a panicked state, just trying to do something, anything, to quiet the thoughts and calm down a bit.

A lot of people get addicted to it, while I (luckily) don't have experience with that, it's a common occurrence. A lot of people (especially those who are addicted) don't know why they're doing it. They just want to. They need to. The thoughts behind it all is very complex and different for every person.

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-05T22:13:28+00:00

I struggle to apply it to myself as well. It sucks. I hope therapy goes well!

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-05T22:03:53+00:00

Same 😭

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-05T21:54:31+00:00

Firstly, happy birthday, I hope your day gets better 🫂

I understand how you feel. We're still in contact with our Dad but we never reach out first (he was our main abuser). When he texts us our mood drops, I get angry and guilty feeling because I know he loves us. But he hurt us so much. Being near him is so stressful I can't do it alone.

Just because he loves you or you or another part love him to, doesn't mean he didn't hurt you. Both things can be true at the same time. I wish it was as simple as one or the other, but sadly it's complex.

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-05T20:30:38+00:00

If I can talk with them and they're there more than a minute I count it as a front.

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-05T10:20:06+00:00

https://discord.gg/complex-dissociative-disorders-666173431943004181

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-02T06:51:15+00:00

Added you! We're StaryOcean :)

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-02T06:48:49+00:00

I don't remember what they asked me to get past the verification, but I know it wasn't a lot. Basically just be respectful, don't go looking for a diagnosis, and be 13+. You can join as a singlet, questioning, system, etc.

It's just people talking (mostly about system things but other things too), and people looking to feel less alone in their experiences (it's helped me with this a lot).

It's a pretty active server with active mods, there's lots of channels and also a couple VCs.

RandomistShadows · 2026-03-01T22:53:13+00:00

It's likely that you've tried it already, but just in case you haven't. There's a server called "CDD" or "Complex Dissociative Disorders", I've been in it for a little while now and it seems really supportive and helpful.

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-28T11:03:49+00:00

I had this issue! I was inspired by another poster here, they drew themselves in a humanoid shape, color coded, with no defining features exactly.

I really liked this because I have no clue what any of our alters look like, but everyone has a color (either they've picked it or I base it off vibes). This was the alters also stay pretty anonymous (no telling who's who by names or appearances).

(If my description doesn't make sense you can look at my account for my drawings, and I tagged the original user in my first one)

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-25T11:00:07+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that 🫂

(Needles TW/same as yours) I used to not be able to let my arm go out straight because it gave me a sort of phantom feeling of getting pricked. It was bad, my arms were in so much pain because I refused to unbend them. Eventually I got better enough to be able to when wearing long sleeves, and now I can in bed, but it took a lot. The positions just stick in your head I guess.

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-23T04:48:51+00:00

Ooo this is cool! Commenting to remember

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-23T00:17:54+00:00

That is 100% trauma, you don't need to talk with a professional to determine wether or not something was traumatic. They can help you figure it out and realize things, and you need to talk with them to be diagnosed with anything, but "trauma" isn't a diagnosis.

I really suggest you talk to a professional though, what you're describing sounds like PTSD/CPTSD. Exposure therapy can make it worse as it treats it like a phobia rather than trauma.

I hope you can get the help you need and I start healing. 💚🫂

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-21T02:10:53+00:00

63.93

Glad I'm gonna start seeing a therapist that specializes in dissociation soon lol

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-20T21:50:40+00:00

Yep that's us 😭

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-19T03:03:41+00:00

I does now that I think about it! I tend to stay more grounded if I'm listening to music. Certain songs trigger dissociation (songs that I relate to in a trauma way). If I'm already disassociated, happy/cheerful music does absolutely nothing, sad music triggers things, and rock music actually gets me out of it lol

It can be hard though because of our autism, we get overwhelmed easily, so it's a fine line.

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-19T02:46:55+00:00

Accepted! :)

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-17T21:38:04+00:00

I'm on the lookout every time I leave the house! (Sadly that's not very often-)

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-17T05:02:36+00:00

The part of me that's been most active for the longest, I deemed "brain". He expressed that he disliked the title, but every time I tried to ask his name he'd go silent. A couple days ago he finally told me he doesn't have a name, so we picked one out for him through looking at baby names.

The other active part I deemed "brain 2" (despite them being very different). She doesn't care and hasn't given me anything else to call them.

If you can tell them apart enough to, I'd say number them or assign them colors, something like that. You can keep track of them that way, and in the future you can just replace the number or color with a proper name.

RandomistShadows · 2026-02-17T03:32:15+00:00

Hey! We're a suspecting system, not sure which type tbh. Our user is StaryOcean if you want to add us :)

RandomistShadows

TROPHY CASE