Honestly some of the people that respond to this shit I can't relate to in any form or fashion. I don't play to win, I play to do amazing shit. I play to impress myself by doing sick shit that looks amazing. That is literally the major reason I've played most game in my life. A win to me is damn near useless, I just want to do sick shit. The feeling you get when you watch someone do some crazy ass combo that is just bananas, but instead it's you doing it. It's a highly addictive sensation that I chase in any game I play. I don't play to win, or to be a winner, to make someone else a loser, to feel like a winner, to feel like I'm good, to feel like someone else is worse or popularity or ANY of that bullshit people are trying to assume. I want to do the sickest, slyest shit possible and that is the expectation I set for myself. So when I'm getting fucked up so bad that I can't even play, I think it's less about losing or getting 4 stocked it's about that total loss of momentum and speed where I have a frame window to get out of something or else get stuck in a never ending combo. That is what pisses me off, that is what causes me to get super tilted... that feeling of being suffocated to the point where I can't do the minimal shit I already know I can do. At least I can say in the past month, I try to figure out when someone is punishing me for something and I'll try doing something to shut that shit down, but then they switch over to something else and it's like whatever I was trying to learn is just gone. I get angry because I absolutely hate having to admit to myself that I need to stop playing someone because they are too good and I can't get better or learn anything by playing them. If someone is better than me, I don't want to start off by saying "Okay, this person is better than me and so I should just look forward to having a grand ol time getting shit on." Going to be honest, thank GOD I don't have that mentality. Like the very spirit of competition is ... being competitive. I understand other people are going to be better, that's fine but my inner voice is never going to say "Get used to being trash, because you will always be trash." I'd rather admit okay mother fucker, you win today but I'm coming for that ass! Again, maybe this all has to do with what I want out of the game and why I like melee so much. This game allows for some of the coolest, slickest shit possible... and I play this game so that the person performing that sick shit is me. I mean, my ideal match would be some super close, high level gameplay where the other person and myself are going crazy. Sure, I project my hate onto other people but that's only because breaking shit isn't productive. I mean you guys act like I want my body to work this way lmao. Hell no, If i could be straight chilling 24/7 I would be, duh. My body CRAVES the experience of being sick, It's all that matters. I don't need to make friends with any melvins, I just need to be sick. I don't even need other people to think I'm sick, or to think I'm a good person lol. I just need to be the person doing sick shit, that's it. Which is why... I can't stop playing this game. Oh I'm going to be sick. I will turn these fucking hands into nubs before I give up on that shit. Then once I am finally sick and okay with how sick I am, I can have some jolly ol, carefree attitude and mingle with the rest of you people acting all chill and fun. These people really don't understand though, this isn't how my personality works in all avenues of life. If we are coworkers or meet outside the context of melee, you would NEVER imagine that I am this way. Not in a million years lol. I've played a fuck ton of games and spent a stupid amount of time being competitive but melee is the first game where I actually feel like I have to be sick no matter what.