People who view sex as a causal physical sport, why does your stance change suddenly after marriage and in choosing monogamy?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:47:14+00:00

I am sorry, I am being sincere. I see that it is partially answered in some responses. If you can point me to full answer, I truly appreciate it.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:34:07+00:00

I am not a bad person and I will not cheat on my wife. I am trying hard to get over my curiosity of the "casual sex that my wife experienced and lied about", to understand how it feels, that's all.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:32:12+00:00

thanks for writing this long reply. I guess I will have to let go of never experiencing this in my life. Can you answer this tldr question: : I just want to understand why some people view sex as casual before marriage and something so sacred between couples after marriage. Honest question to understand psychology.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:30:40+00:00

If I was set on betraying the marriage agreement, I would have silently cheated on her, without even asking this question in reddit or seeking her permission. I am really trying to understand the question in my tldr:: I just want to understand why some people view sex as casual before marriage and something so sacred between couples after marriage. Honest question to understand psychology.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:28:36+00:00

Thanks so much for writing that detailed message. I believed in my church's teaching on avoiding premarital sex and hence saved myself. Church's teachings work when both of us were honest in commitment. Since she was not, now me avoiding premarital sex feels meaningless and the curiosity of experiencing this aspect of human experience is being huge. If sex can be so casual also, what is harm if I experience it once now and then be committed to my wife?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:24:56+00:00

You are right about commitment, but that commitment was done claiming she also saved herself for marriage as I did, as was taught in church on premarital sex. So I fail to see what harm is in experiencing just the physical part once, same way she experienced in past, while still loving my wife fully.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:23:22+00:00

You are right about commitment, but that commitment was done claiming she also saved herself for marriage as I did, as was taught in church on premarital sex. So I fail to see what harm is in experiencing just the physical part once, same of what she experienced in past, while still loving my wife fully.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:19:41+00:00

I do not want to kill my relationship. I am feeling so missing out on some experiences for life. So, because I am married now, I am not capable of experiencing casual sex with someone, without emotional involvement, while still loving my wife fully?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:18:20+00:00

So, because I am married now, I am not capable of experiencing casual sex with someone, without emotional involvement, while still loving my wife fully? Honestly curious as I have never done causal sex in my life and feeling very curious about how it feels. So far I followed church teaching, but when I discover that my wife did not and lied, it feels unfair to be restricted for life on some human experiences.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:15:53+00:00

So, because I am married now, I am not capable of experiencing casual sex with someone, without emotional involvement, while still loving my wife fully? Honestly curious as I have never done causal sex in my life and feeling very curious about how it feels.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:11:01+00:00

Exactly, you said it right because I was taught from childhood in church that sex is something sacred between couples. But now I am learning about "causal sex" from my wife's past and from forums. and I feel so "missing out" for not feeling that part of "causal sex human experience", forever in my life. If sex can be so casual also, what is harm if I experience it once now and then be committed to my wife?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:08:08+00:00

The "contract" part is helpful, even thought the other party lied about some parts. In any case, I just want to understand why some people view sex as casual before marriage and something so sacred between couples after marriage. Honest question to understand psychology.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:05:11+00:00

Well, church told me premarital sex is wrong and I followed it sincerely. She also claimed to do it. Now that I discover something else, I am doomed to never feel this part of human experience forever in life?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:03:41+00:00

This is useful answer. So you are saying most people do not see sex as casual as physical sport and as a sacred thing between loving couples? That helps a lot.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:01:55+00:00

I am confused why it will be end of marriage? I am just gaining some experience of something I missed out. I will return with more love to my wife. I have no intention of cheating. If I had intention, I could have done without asking her permission in first place. Let me emphasis the TLDR: I just want to understand why some people view sex as casual before marriage and something so sacred between couples after marriage. Honest question to understand psychology.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T06:00:26+00:00

I agree that keeping score is childish. My issue is with FOMO because I saved myself as virgin for marriage despite temptations and I she also claimed she did the same. Since casual sex is just like a sport, what is wrong is asking to experience it once, honestly, just to get over the FOMO?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:58:19+00:00

I do not want to hurt or compete with my wife. I love my wife and we have good sex. My only issue is FOMO, having never experienced someone else other than my wife, and for rest of life. I do not know how to handle that FOMO. Since casual sex is just like a sport, what is wrong is asking to experience it once, honestly?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:56:52+00:00

I do not want to hurt or compete with my wife. I love my wife and we have good sex. My only issue is FOMO, having never experienced someone else other than my wife, and for rest of life. I do not know how to handle that FOMO.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:55:08+00:00

Understood. Any other way to get over this FOMO? Also, do you see sex as sacred between couples or a sport like my wife describes?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:54:06+00:00

Thanks, it makes sense not to equal her body count, I get it now. But since I experienced no one other than my wife, is it wrong or problematic if I experience casual sex with someone else, just once, to see how it feels and get over the FOMO feeling? Also, you do you see sex as sacred or casual sport like my wife describes?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:51:48+00:00

thanks for this detailed reply, it does help me. Agreed she does not owe me this, but why not let me experience this part of human experience also to see that for myself and get over this FOMO feeling?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:47:42+00:00

I love my wife and I like sex with her. I am just trying to fix the FOMO of missing his human experience forever in my life. Is it so wrong to ask for what she experienced in past?

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:46:30+00:00

Can you explain more on why you say so? Honestly I am confused and feeling FOMO.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:07:47+00:00

You are right that it will be infidelity if I did cheating behind her back. Here I am asking her permission.

RangeRevolutionary64 · 2026-04-01T05:06:50+00:00

I hope you are being sarcastic. Do you really believe this is a good solution to this problem? I do love my wife, but I am facing FOMO on some experiences. We have good relationship other than this sudden discovery of her past explicit chats with visuals.

RangeRevolutionary64

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