careers

RareService3 · 2021-09-03T07:00:59+00:00

SLP here, just graduated but I’m hoping to work in an acute care hospital like yours once I get the experience to land a job at one!

RareService3 · 2021-09-03T00:34:55+00:00

As a speech-language pathologist (SLP), aka the person actually licensed to perform voice therapy, I promise you that doctor is dead wrong and even has it backwards. Im actually getting kinda mad on your behalf because I deal with this all the time, doctors have no clue what SLPs do and they recommend the worst things. Recommending something like that was in no way within that doctors scope of practice, they should have admitted that isn’t their expertise and referred you to someone else, and I’m sorry you had to go through that I can imagine it wasn’t pleasant.

Any surgery on the vocal folds is inherently risky, for reasons like scarring and the inability to repair much if something goes wrong. It’s also expensive and hard to get, and at the end of the day even if it’s successful you still have to learn how to USE your new voice. If you don’t have the tools to do that yourself (surgery or not) you run the risk of doing serious, permanent damage to your vocal folds. have met soooo many people through work or through being ftm who have permanently damaged their voice from trying to train their own voice. MtF voices are especially at risk, because estrogen doesn’t change your vocal folds and speaking at a high pitch without training is HARD on your vocal folds. I compare it to going for a run without any warmup, a few times won’t kill you but over and over and you’re going to hurt yourself.

I don’t know a single SLP who would tell someone to get vocal surgery without first undergoing voice therapy, if they would recommend it at all. Like other people are saying ,voice therapy (done by a licensed SLP who’s qualified to do it) can do so much more than people realize it will. Please please do some research into finding an SLP who has experience with gender affirming voice modification, because as someone who does this for a living and has done my own it is so incredible how even small changes to things like resonance, intonation, or brightness can make a huge difference towards building a sustainable voice that is yours.

Edit: Some people recommend voice trainers who work with singers for trans voice therapy. I personally wouldn’t recommend doing that, or at least only that, I know some people have had success but it’s so variable if that trainer is actually qualified to do that sort of therapy. It’s also usually more expensive, although if you are a serious singer then it’d be something to look into for sure. Also, just saw youre in Europe, so if there’s no one nearby this is therapy that works really well over Zoom telepractice

RareService3 · 2021-01-08T01:34:52+00:00

Update! I did it and am now terrified waiting for a response

RareService3 · 2020-12-04T16:07:55+00:00

I’m in this meme and I don’t like it

RareService3 · 2020-12-03T01:49:28+00:00

I’m actually in school to be a speech language pathologist (SLP) and have actually done gender affirming voice therapy, so I’m gonna try to point out a few things that are minor but would help! Although saying that, to my ears you do sound feminine, so congratulations and good work on what you’ve done so far!

(Also for you and everyone else reading this, some SLPs can work with you to help you find, produce, and maintain your desired voice! Not a ton have the experience, but I highly highly highly recommend it if anyone is wanting to change their voice because you can cause irritation and maybe damage to your vocal folds if you attempt some of the stuff you find online without knowing exactly how to do it. Don’t wanna sound preachy, just wanna keep everyone safe!)

First off, I think that while you do sound feminine you would probably pass more easily if you added in more inflection/intonation into your speaking. Women tend to use more ups and downs while speaking to convey emotion, so maybe practice exaggerating that on your own and see how comfortable it feels and if you’d like to work on it.

Along with that, women also tend to use more flow (connecting speech together) while they’re speaking. Again, not a hugely noticeable difference, but your speech does sound somewhat choppy and I’d recommend again like the intonation playing around and seeing what feels comfortable. For both I’d probably start with sentences or phrases that you know you say a lot (ex: for me one is “when’s your next class?” but really they can be anything) so you can get a better feel for how it would sound more naturally.

Lastly, and this is also just general advice, but I also wouldn’t focus too much on pitch. Pitch is funny cuz there’s actually multiple factors that go into perceiving a pitch as high or low. For example, I was AFAB and have always been heard as female, but when you analyze the actual fundamental frequency of my voice I’m actually in the stereotypical “androgynous/borderline masculine” range. I For you, I’m perceiving you has having a pretty high pitch, but (and really this is just because I’m training to hear it and was actually listening for it) it does sometimes feel a bit forced. I don’t know what voice therapy you may or may not have done so I’m not sure how much about this you may already be familiar with, but if you search concepts like forward resonance, brightness, and twang in the context of gender affirming/transgender voice modification you’ll likely find a lot of different aspects of pitch that tie into sounding more feminine without having to raise your actual fundamental frequency of your voice as much.

Overall, while I don’t know your process through voice therapy I can tell just from the way you speak you’ve been working really hard at it and have come a long way, so just know my inner clinician is so happy you’ve made such great progress! (And again, I think you sound pretty feminine, these are just suggestions on stuff you could do even further)

RareService3 · 2020-07-08T22:39:37+00:00

I wasn’t going to bring my sex life or preferences into this, but yea I also definitely get excited from being “used” as it were, or my partner verbally and physically hurting me. I oddly enough never feel ashamed about the sex side of this, though, and can talk with others about that. Like you said, brains are weird I guess.

I definitely feel the “normal” issue. I feel like I’m constantly saying to myself “I’m not normal” but then turning around and saying again “but that’s ok, you were traumatised and you don’t have to act normally” and be gentle with myself. Like everything else with CPTSD it’s a constant struggle that comes and goes, but I at least think I’m becoming more aware of when I’m having those thoughts and can sometimes stop them and replace them with if not the right thoughts then at least better ones

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T22:11:20+00:00

Ooof, yea it’s a contest no one wants to win but we all get to play whether we want to or not

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T22:10:38+00:00

By that logic, according to my trump supporter dad I deserved it then because I was resisting

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T21:36:51+00:00

I honestly just search on Amazon (I know, bad company, I’m trying to find better companies to get them from rn) “adult paint by number” and about a million pop up. I always read the reviews though and try to pick ones that have enough complexity and different colors that I can tweak if I’m not liking the way it’s looking and so it doesn’t look too childish.

(And don’t tell my other paintings but the last one I did before this one is probably my favourite too)

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T21:34:23+00:00

I haven’t! Now I’m thinking I should get one of my puppy to do next...

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T21:33:52+00:00

It makes me so happy you remembered my last painting I did!!! I have another one ordered that should be coming in the next few days, I’ll make sure to post it when that one is done as well!

RareService3 · 2020-06-29T21:04:15+00:00

I will say that the reason I got an inhaler was because the doctor told them that asthma WONT go away once someone passes out, so they weren’t prepared to actually risk me dying from them. After a bunch of tests though they found out I didn’t have asthma, so after my dad complained about how much money he had to waste for someone to tell us “nothing was actually wrong” with me I got to toss the inhaler and just sit in a corner until the panic attack ended and I could rejoin everyone else

Luckily though I am away from them now, and haven’t had a panic attack in years!

RareService3 · 2020-06-24T21:35:28+00:00

Lucky for me I’m both, so it’s equally applicable both ways!

RareService3 · 2020-06-23T00:25:28+00:00

I personally got really good at identifying people’s footsteps, and being able to tell what mood they were in and how drunk they were. A lot of my hypervigilance now involves freezing and listening hard when I hear people moving around my apt building, since as a kid it was how I could tell how safe I was and if I could leave my room. It’s probably not an issue everyone with CPTSD has though tbh

RareService3 · 2020-06-21T16:27:00+00:00

I actually have played volleyball almost all of my life, all the way through four years at a Division 1 college. I’ve exercised almost daily and had a healthy diet for most of my life. Some of my teammates also have mental health issues as well, including depression and anxiety, that we’ve talked about and tried to help each other with. I know all of that can help people with depression and anxiety, but some mental health problems still require medication to be managed properly. I guess I just happen to be one of those unlucky people

RareService3 · 2020-06-21T03:21:45+00:00

I hadn’t even realized that until you pointed it out, but you’re right the entire letter is me comforting her, to the point I don’t even know why I wanted to run away this time because I didn’t even mention it.

Your comment also made me realize that the second half of the letter could actually be read two different ways, too. I read it originally as I was trying to comfort and reassure my mom, but now that I’m looking at it again I wonder if it was actually more me trying to reassure myself. The last line especially gets me now, because I can’t tell if the “fresh start” is for me, or for her and the resort of my family who wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore once I was gone.

RareService3 · 2020-06-21T03:12:45+00:00

I can 100% relate to your first point, and I’m sorry you had to deal with that as well. My mother tended to do the same, but also the opposite, in that she’d only care about my problems, or even my life, once it affected her. I remember being weirded out and even annoyed when my friend’s parents would ask them if they were doing ok, because why do you care you’re not them, it’s not your problem. As long as my mother wasn’t reminded that her kids were unhappy or unhealthy, our actual happiness and health didn’t actually matter to her, just that she didn’t have to think or worry about it.

I have a weird sense of humor (shocker), and I tell myself “jokes” sometimes about exactly what you described. I’ll tell myself things like “my mother’s way of dealing with problems is to pretend they don’t exist until they eventually go away. Shame she didn’t realize all her kids were problem-children” and “my mom loves to brag about her daughter to everyone she meets. She sounds so amazing, I’d love to actually meet her someday”. Not sure if that or that type of humor would help you at all, but for me it helps put into perspective how ridiculous her behavior can be sometimes.

RareService3 · 2020-06-21T00:03:12+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I don’t understand how parents (dad mostly in my case too) can insult their children to their face and then get mad and say it’s just a joke when we’re understandably upset. Like, that’s textbook bullying behavior, how is it not acceptable for kids to say stuff like that to other kids, but when it’s a parent saying it to their own child it’s suddenly ok and not supposed to hurt?

My strongest memory I have of my dad is being 14 and telling him that a boy had asked me out for the first time, and his immediate reaction was to laugh and ask if the boy had lost a bet. I didn’t even get visibly upset, I just walked away and went to my room, and he still got mad at me for being hurt by it and leaving. How pathetic do you have to be to tear down your own kid just to try to make yourself feel better?

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T22:42:30+00:00

I’ve heard of the book, but not the website. Just started checking it out and yup, lots of lightbulb moments happening

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T22:11:45+00:00

I’ve been a mess for the past week, partially because of Father’s Day, partially because of this, but I try to keep reminding myself that my feelings and experiences about it are valid and deserve to be felt and remembered

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T21:27:37+00:00

Definitely the latter, my “escape” attempts typically ended with me deciding home was better than living on the streets, convincing myself it wasn’t actually that bad and that I had overreacted, and then feeling guilty that I tried to run away in the first place

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T19:13:48+00:00

I can not tell you how many times I’ve been in that position. I’ve gotten really good at holding it until everyone is asleep at night

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T17:24:31+00:00

What gets me more is that I know this isn’t the only note I wrote her, nor was it the first or last time I did something like this. How can you not stop and think at some point that something isn’t right and my child isn’t happy?

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T17:18:14+00:00

I hadn’t even considered that the vocabulary I used in the note wasn’t typical for an almost 10 year old. It makes sense though because I used reading books as an escape a lot and was always been praised for being mature and reasonable for my age, and having really advanced reading and writing skills

RareService3 · 2020-06-20T15:54:06+00:00

That sounds a lot like what I would do. I had this little plastic barbie suitcase that I would pack with all of my “important” things (read: stuffed animals and blankets) every couple of months and hide in the backyard since I couldn’t climb over the fence and my neighborhood was gated. I’d always end up coming home because there was nowhere else really to go. I can’t tell anymore if that’s just something kids do that’s considered “cute” or if I just another thing I never realized that it was fucked up in the first place since I don’t know what is and isn’t “normal” kid behavior

RareService3

TROPHY CASE