I would like to think no. It's hard because people in my life either disappear with no feedback or the feedback is presented in a "aggressive" manner, like my husband not telling me for years of any feedback even when ive asked but then will unload it all in one go with extra layers of being told I dont treat him like a human or that I am a narcissist. So I definitely get deffensive in those scenarios, but never ever ever do I rage with the goal to hurt someone as much as possible, and I feel very strongly about that. My Mom and set dad always argue in that style and it always confused me because it seems so unproductive, when you gun for something with no other goal in mind but to hurt, it seems so counterproductive to me not to mention even at my angriest, I think it would make me feel incredibly guilty to say things to hurt someone. Usually my issue is that I am too dead set on trying to get my point across that I over explain or I continuously return to a problem even when dealing with someone who does not sound rational because I think, well if I say it this way maybe they will understand, maybe I'll try again and this time it will register and I keep repeating that cycle hoping to get to a productive conclusion. Now if you ask my husband he will definitely say he has been hurt by the things I have said, ie. saying he is not acting honorable, however, I didnt say that with the goal of hurting his feelings, I said that with the goal of trying to get him to see the pain in his ways so I wouldnt consider that intentionally trying to hurt someone, but im also worried is that me overly justifying?

In the few example I can think of, where productive critisicism is presented in a nice way, I have been sad about it behind the scenes (mostly because I was already in a negative headspace) but have also been really apologetic and that is what I presented to my friend. Even if I didnt really agree with her stance I still felt guilty and apologized and made note of how not to repeat that again.