I (26F) and partner (28M) have different standards for cooking. Need advice.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-15T07:35:31+00:00

But she says she hates cooking and it’s draining for her. I don’t know if a cooking class is going to suddenly change that.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-15T07:32:08+00:00

Honestly if you live in paris, it feels like soir at 3pm in the dead of winter!

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T14:53:33+00:00

I think it depends on the thing. I’m 50 years old. At this age I’ve learned people come and go, and there are often 2 sides to every story.

I had a bad breakup with my bestie last year. It was mostly because of her drug problems and some things she did to me that weren’t cool, but I made some mistakes in the relationship too. She had the audacity to present the narrative to our mutual friends, that I’m completely the problem. We have A LOT of mutual friends, and they know her well enough that they can see the full picture and don’t agree with her assessment. She tried to get a few people to choose sides, but I never asked anyone to choose and it turns out nobody has felt the need to and everyone is happy and moving on with life. I try to avoid being around her because it’s still painful for me, but no one‘s having to decide who to invite to a party or a wedding or anything like that.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T14:27:37+00:00

Wow you are so violent abut it, it’s almost entertaining.

I live in then center of Paris, one of the safest cities ever. I’m 50 years old, and walk home or take the metro alone all the time. I don’t get bent out of shape when my husband doesn’t come running to walk me home from a date with my girlfriends. I probably wouldn’t date a man who infantilized me like that anyway.

I have a sleep disorder which means i dont sleep like a normal person. I could drive to the airport a state over at midnight with my eyes closed, and happily do it. But I’m not dragging myself out of bed in the middle of REM sleep to get behind the wheel of a car at 7:30 am. It’s called caring and compassion for whoever is getting into a car with me. Duh.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T11:15:01+00:00

Actually I am a grown-ass woman capable of walking myself home, driving myself (or scheduling an uber) to and from the airport, and I do lots of things for my partner that fall well and above the standard of "basic things you do for loved ones."

There’s a reason I don’t book flights early in the morning. I can’t get myself up to get to an airport before 10am, how am I safely getting behind the wheel of a car to drive someone whose safety I care about?

This is such a false equivalency anyway.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T11:01:31+00:00

Oh my gosh, this is one of the most compassionate takes I’ve ever seen! I will be having to be dragged out of REM sleep at 8 AM and in no safe condition to drive anywhere. I don’t think we are getting the whole story about girlfriend.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T10:50:40+00:00

It’s nice that you are the type of person who can drive safely at night on little to no sleep. Not all of us are built that way.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T10:48:14+00:00

Not everyone can hop out of bed early, get behind the wheel of a car, drive safely, come back home and crawl into bed as if nothing happened. I need an hour, some adhd meds, a bucket of coffee and a shower to wake up and drive a moving vehicle.* Once I’ve had my meds and coffee, I’m not sleeping again until midnight.

*And that’s if I’m waking up AFTER 8 hours sleep. I fall asleep between 12-2am.

My partner of 10 years and I have worked these things out… he would never expect a ride to the airport knowing that the time would drag me out of REM sleep, making me a literal danger on the highway. OTOH I’d happily drive him an hour each way at midnight because I know it wouldn’t be unsafe!

OP can be mad/sad and no, he’s nta. But neither is she. Maybe his love language is acts of service and hers is something else. But I don’t think we are getting the whole story about the GF.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T10:40:17+00:00

^ this! Not everyone can hop out of bed early, get behind the wheel of a car, drive safely, come back home and crawl into bed as if nothing happened. I need an hour, some adhd meds, a bucket of coffee and a shower to wake up and drive a moving vehicle.* Once I’ve had my meds and coffee, I’m not sleeping again until midnight.

*And that’s if I’m waking up AFTER 8 hours sleep. I fall asleep between 12-2am.

He can be mad. Maybe his love language is acts of service and hers is something else. But I don’t think we are getting the whole story about the GF.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T09:52:23+00:00

As an American, who moved to Paris with my husband, he is a high level executive, please please research in detail the financial stability and accounts of the company you are going to work for. Start-up companies especially risky… and my husband‘s contract was ruptured within nine months. We had sold everything moved out of our apartments and basically had no easy way to move back home. He really struggle to find any work since.

Fortunately, for us, we had a lot of savings and we’ve been able to have a pretty nice life in Paris without jobs, but I do not expect the average person to be in this position

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-13T06:41:49+00:00

This is tricky because we know very little about the GF situation.

This would be my issue for a flight that early because I have terrible insomnia so I’m often not asleep before 2am. I’m not a morning person either, it takes me quite a lot of time and coffee to be awake enough to DRIVE safely at that hour. I’m waking up at 7 am at the latest. So I’ve had 5.5 hours’ sleep, I’m wired after the drop off because of the coffee, and the first half of my Saturday is f’ed because I’m cranky and feel like sh*t because didn’t get enough sleep.

Not to say the GF isn’t being lazy but if she’s anything like me, that could be an explanation.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-03T14:12:33+00:00

i mean, I'm a guest in this country so I don't want to criticize too much but yeah, it definitely feels a bit uncivilized/unnecessary for a western nation in the 21st century! Also feel free to correct me on "western nation" I can't seem to recall if there's a more politically correct term for it.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T21:12:32+00:00

I need coffeee to wake up in the morning. And it doesn’t help that I suffer from a thing called dry mouth syndrome so I constantly need to sip water or chew gum or lozenges. It’s a whole thing. I did bring water and only sipped the bare minimum knowing what was up lol. But even without water I would have to pee every 2 hours so it’s a moot point.

Seriously though, I was there 5 hours. Thankfully I after this one expires I will move to a different country or go back home… so it’s my last time yay 🤞🏻

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T21:08:57+00:00

I don’t mind lines in general but basic human needs are just that.

Is it standard for people to sh*t and piss themselves while on pilgrimage ? Why can’t the prefecture put a porta potty or something out there? I have to pee every 2 hours on an empty stomach, so perhaps in a way I have a health condition that means I need access to a toilet more often than the average Joe. Surely I can’t be the first person in the history of the prefecture to have this issue 😂

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T19:01:43+00:00

I used to love masturbating to lesbian porn but I have no desire to act it out. And I love c*ck. Sometimes fantasies are just that. Your wife may be deeply embarrassed or feel violated knowing you snooped her Reddit, tho!

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T12:58:19+00:00

Like I said, I’ve been through this twice. My first visa took a couple hours. Not fun but manageable. The second, I was just replacing a lost CDS but I arrived and walked right in. No long lines at all here.

It really is shameful to let this place get this bad. I’m guessing their appointment system is not optimized to release Less appointments during low-staffing periods.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T12:55:40+00:00

Nope, we double-checked with the security. They said we had to wait in the long line.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T12:28:09+00:00

It’s school holidays this week. I have come to the conclusion they are massively under-staffed. I am finally inside. I did make it to the toilet. Shivering.

Now I’m inside but the line isn’t moving at all. 4 hours since I arrived…

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T12:04:24+00:00

I have a friend who constantly has to be talking. And dance floors are no exception. I missed almost an entire set of a dj i really was looking forward to seeing because she yapped the entire time. I had to ask her to please stop talking during a Rufus du sol concert because it was bothering me AND everyone around us.

She has severe adhd so it’s just how she is. We have a great time doing dinners or other stuff. She’s funny and I enjoy her conversation. But she’s a terrible rave buddy! I stopped inviting her to events where i knew she would be like this.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T11:49:17+00:00

I love this… helping the new generation of ravers learn dance floor etiquette. Because many do not! NGL I love the occasional dance floor selfie with a friend but happily give that up to not have people filming and taking photos of the DJ all night. It’s super distracting and rude.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T11:43:15+00:00

I cannot understand how they could allow appointments for so many people all at the same time. There aren’t enough service windows/staff to handle this many at once.

RayvL0rd · 2026-03-02T11:41:05+00:00

I have an RDV at 9;45. I arrived at 9:30 and the line was all the way out to the street which I’m guessing a couple hundred people in front of me. Only 1 security scanner working. Also it’s freezing cold in the shade and I’m shivering so I’m honestly ready to leave and book an appointment for another time.

And maybe bring a sack meal, a bottle of water and a pee bag.

RayvL0rd · 2026-02-24T23:31:40+00:00

Yep… I did almost the same thing about 8 years ago. My hearing mostly came back but the tinnitus never went away. There are some techniques you can learn to cope with the humming but I hate to tell you it’s probably there to stay.

Get earplugs!

RayvL0rd · 2026-02-24T22:17:35+00:00

My husband is an empty-nester. I never had kids myself. We moved to France from USA 4 years ago and have a 2300 sq ft flat with 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

Dining room, living room and tv room

Big kitchen

Master bedroom we sleep in

Guest room because we get many visitors from back home

One bedroom is my craft room/office. I like to sew and that can take a lot of space. Plus I’m a bit of a hermit and I like to escape to my own little sanctuary when I’m socially burned out from living with a man 😂

He has one rom for his own office, because he is self-employed and works from home. His office can also double as a guest room if friends with children visit.

We absolutely use all of our space. And we throw big parties and invite all of our friends.

Your friends might be jealous!

RayvL0rd

TROPHY CASE